"Let's go have a smoke."

ok so i get about 30-40 emails in my junkmail folder every couple of days.. today i had 37 so as i normally do, i started skimming through them to make sure none of them were real emails that got moved there by mistake (to date, no email has been put there by mistake. thanks Gmail!) there was nothing out of the ordinary, penis enlargment, home loans, viagra, pirated software and anti-depressants from Asia. you know, the usual. but some of these that i see all the time i felt we worth sharing.

These are subject lines from my spam folder. (shut up i know this isnt an original blog idea)
Before trying surgical way to enlarge your penis, give Penis Enlarge Patch a try.

You seem not to have any problems with erections but you still dream of fuller and harder ones. Don’t say “NO” to our Soft Viagra tabs.

With every inches of your dick your popularity grows with extremely high speed. That’s why you should try Penis Enlarge Patch

enj0y magic love

Don’t you wanna fuck like a pornost@r in the movie you saw yesterday?

this one was a little cryptic.. and im not even sure what the ad was for
Be happy with it!

and the winner is......
With our Viagra Soft Tabs you can crack nuts with your penis.
(cue johnny carson music here)

anyway, yea. if i ever actually wanted to enlarge my penis, the junk mail folder in my gmail would be the last place i'd look. just to get some insight into the credibility of the assholes that send these emails, i clicked one of them and this paragraph, if you can call it that, was at the bottom;

this was at the bottom of one of the emails.. what the fuck does this mean?

"Good science fiction is good fiction
fifteenth floor sympathetic faces watched us off. All we lacked were waving
Cassidy is not Shane or True Grit. And the best of science fiction is quite
"All right, then," Kirill said. "How about Tender?" Tender was his
the reason you fly is to eat."
"Let's go have a smoke."

WHAATTT???? these people are either completly insane, or they are foreign. either way, I wouldnt trust my penis with them in a 100 million years. and if through some miracle of science I live more than 100 million years, I will apply for an extension.