Jul 31, 2006

catholic voodoo

well, im home. I survived. I'm usually a sloppy crying asshole at funerals but with all the ritualistic voodoo and shit i was mostly in awe. I didnt even get choked up. I was just constantly thinking to my self "are they serious?" and when someone tells you a Rosary is just "saying prayers for an hour" they arent being 100% accurate. a Rosary is saying the same God damned prayer over and over again 50 times like chanting zombies for an hour. i was gasping with my eyes and screaming in my head "OH MY GOD!!!" all the while there is a corpse on display 5 feet from me. hello? doesnt anyone think this is creepy and wierd? I think i've come to the conclusion that catholics are like 2 degrees away from being a full-on satanic cult.

here's some pics from my catholic funeral adventure weekend.

the town of Sun City is practically designed for old people. the church was in what seemed to be the "church district" the Catholic church, presbeterian and lutheran churches, the mortuary, crematorium and cemetary were all within walking distance from eachother practically sharing a parking lot. they have golf courses peppered throughout the town, and its legal to drive golf carts around on the streets. they even have golf cart crossing signs that have old people driving them! They have countless shitty, but cheap buffet resturants that old people love because they think they're getting a good deal. Thier town motto should be "Sun City, a Great Place to Die"

During the 4 hour dead body viewing we'd go outside so megs sister could have a smoke and everytime we'd smell something remenicsent of Burger King flame broiled burgers. but later realised it was the crematorium. cooked human smells pretty good. It made us all hungry.

which reminds me, i hate Rubios. we had it before we left... that place is a fish taco piece of shit.

Jul 28, 2006

Oh man

Im all dressed up. in the car and it hit me... Oh yeah. I forgot..its a Catholic funeral. This shit is a whole ordeal. This thing is gonna take 2 effing days. Damnit. fucking catholic voodoo. . . more later.

Jul 25, 2006


On Sunday we went on another adventure. We decided to get out of the inland heatwave and out to the cool Northern California coast. We first cruised through Mare Island on our way to our planned destination. The Duncans Mills Arts and Wine Festival. It turned out to be art in the park bullshit with one lousy wine tent, handy-crafts and bob Ross paintings on a cow pattie in bumfuck. But the weather was nice since it was near the coast. So we just kept driving and ended up in some freako over 40's love nest lodge in the woods.

here's some pics of the first Naval Base on the west coast, the now defunct, Mare Island Naval Shipyard. 150 yr old Officers mansions, Munitions Bunkers, Naval facilities, 150 yr old Naval Chapel with original Tiffany stained glass and tons of other cool old shit. Mare Island is also home to the oldest Golf Course west of the Mississippi. I didn't take pics of it because all damn golf courses look the same to me. grass and assholes. I think I've talked about this place before.

then, like I said we went to the art & wine fest that sucked. I got in a talk hold with some painter guy. Then we left and drove up the coast. We stopped in at this creepy place called Timber Cove so Meg and her friends could get the wine they didn't get at the fest. Turns out this place didn't have wine so they drank Heinekens. When we walked in there was cats roaming all over the entryway and in the lobby. There was a mid-late 40's homely lesbian couple cuddling on the couch next to the fireplace and a Latino middle aged "2nd marriage" newlyweds practically dry humping with their eyes on another couch by the window. freaky. Then some bikers and an Asian family walked in. The Asian family had their 8 yr old son doing all the talking which was awkward. It was a latent homosexual bartender dude with 5'oclock shadow and a lisp trying to explain half in English, half in visual descriptions like pointing and some form of half assed international sign language that the rooms have king sized beds with a jacuzzi in the room. You should go to their website and be "wowed" by their virtual tour or shitty blurry photos.
this is the napkin from that place. (click to make it bigger)

it tells the story of the weird giant penis with a hand on top sculpture that you can see on the cliffs next to the Inn as you drive up the coast. Tells how basically their guy was a nut job hippie and that 2 different governors of Cali snubbed him for some lame dedication he wanted. Read the napkin.
one of the rooms from the website. eeeew gross. I bet that bed has herpes from 1978

one of the cats at the entrance

who says a mountain of drippy candle wax is too much of a good thing?
that was the pic from their website, this is the pic I took with my phone that day.
not much of a difference. I wonder how often the clean that shit?

shivers.. creepy.

then we drove home. Back to where it was 100 fucking degrees still.

Jul 22, 2006

busy, hot, paint, busy

its fucking hot... and I've locked myself up with air conditioning and paints. I've been painting like a toothless hooker in a hot dog eating contest. I painted these two today.

Flyingfish. acrylic on 5 x 7 plaque

Devil In Pink. acrylic on 7 x 7 plaquesorry bout the pics.. it was weird lighting.

Jul 21, 2006

Self Portrait!

I just finished this tonite. A self portrait! on a skateboard! well, a broken skateboard that i found in the trash. (clicky for big)

Ipsemet is latin for "one's very self"

I'm not a maniacal dictator, I just play one on TV

Ok, so Its out of character for me to regurgitate breaking news like this but this one is too good to pass up. It is,however in character for the notorious North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Il to be the overly stereotypical crazy, evil dictator. There is a reason for this.
In a recent press conference the
5ft 2in tall, American film fanatic announced what he wants from America. The thing for which in return, he would dismantle his entire nuclear program.

that one thing is... for the chance to play a Bond villain in the next installment of the 007 movie franchise. which he said was "the role of a lifetime." a role he's been "preparing for every day of my life"

world peace here we come! call SONY Pictures! we get another Bond film, (if Kim wants, Sean Connery returning as James Bond) and a Happier North Korea!

its a win-win.

I'm not making this up (yahoo news story)

Jul 20, 2006

theyre not all morons

Have you ever been to a fast food resturant, or some other kind of retail establishment and had optimum service? or even experience an attention to curtisy and detail that surpasses your expectations? I have. On a few very rare occasions. I do, tho, regret one thing. I don't feel that I showed the proper level of gratitude towards them when they did. Since my level of expectation, while not outrageous, is pretty high considering the average intelligence level of these workers. Now, I'm not saying that all minimum wage employees are lazy, brainless, selfish retards. I'm just saying the majority of the ones I've had the displeasure of doing business with.

So in the future, when you come across that rare gem, a drive thru attendant that doesnt fuck up your order, or a floor clerk at a department store that knows where a certain item in thier dept is without a moments thought, or a waiter that refills your soda, before you even know you need one, stop and take the time to tell them thank you, and if its allowed, tip them handsomely. They deserve it and need to know they are doing a good job.

Appreciate your local hard working, 110% giving minimum wage worker, because the rest of them are useless pieces of shit that care more about thier ring tones or nail polish or co-workers ass than "your way".

...or they actually are mentally challenged. In that case, smile a lot and tell them "good job" even if they spill 7up on you while they excitedly, but unnecisarily, bring you your tray.

The Godfather

Heeeeeyyy! I painted this last night.. acrylic and spraypaint, on 14" pizza pan. I'm glad it doesnt look like a dog, or George Bush.
...He was definatly feelin' good this night.

Jul 19, 2006


its wednesday and i have nothing. Lost isnt even on anymore. I'm hella tired for some reason.
here's some pictures.

these are some pictures i took from my porch, at night. messing with the shutter speed.

thats not a shooting star. its an airplane crossing the night sky.

ok thats all, see you thursday.