Feb 3, 2011

Motherfuckingshitasspisscrotch

Hey people of internet land. Sorry for the hiatus. I don't use the internet that much anymore. A few posts ago I explained why. Anyway, here's some crap that's been bugging me. Bitch rant rant bitch....

Verizon iPhone.
Ok, so verizon, welcome to the iphone party. Only a couple years too late. I know ATT had a monopoly on iphone but now that you've convinced your loyal customers that they don't need an iphone, and got em all sucking the Droid teet your gonna dangle last years phone in front of us and act like its a big deal. And while Sprint and even ATT, who HAS the iphone already gets new blackberry models and you keep peddling droids and 2009 blackberrys.

And for yet another eff you to your customers you insult us with this 'phone buy-back iphone' deal. Ok you'll give me $200 for the droidX you finally convinved me to not bail out of my contract (and go to att for an iphone) and get. But only if I buy a new VZW iPhone. Sounds like a good deal. What's the new 2 year contract price for that, arounf $200 right? So I'd break even, thanks for looking out verizon.WRONG! You get to use that measly $200 you sold your brand new (retail $800 or so) DroidX for towards the full retail price of that hot new VZW iPhone. So now, you gotta still spend like $500 or whatever it is to get a new iphone. I'm going to sprint, fuck verizon and fuck the iPhone.

Comcastic.
Look I get it that you have awesome OnDemand and killer high speed internet but don't fuck with me and give me a sweet deal for 6 months. 6 months aint shit. Tell me WTF its gonna be for the rest of the time. When you say "introductory rate" that just means "were gonna fuck you in 6 months". That's why I like my sub-par Dish Network, because its the same price as comcast's intro rate...but its forever.

Beat your kids.
That's right I said it. Kids today have no fear. My generation got beat. While it was starting to be frowned upon, parents didn't give a fuck for the most part. the next generation after that didn't get beat as much, but enough that the threat was real. But now? Now kids know they can't get beat. They know what CPS is. They know parents can't do shit. You can ground them and take shit away but that just breeds rebellion. I could go onto a whole other rant about how materialistic kids are but I won't.

Kids need the shit beat out of them. Like a bully in school needs to have his ass kicked for once. They need to know that there is a real, primal, physical consequence for being little fucking assholes.

Redbox and Netflix
Netflix is great but the new releases take forever to get in the mail and the instant viewing is good but it doesn't have new releases. So fuck what do you do? Hollywood is closed and Blockbuster charges like 100 to rent a damn movie. I found Redbox. Fucking cool service. Everything was going awesome until last night. I got Despicable Me on blueray and when the machine spit it out, there was no dvd in the box. I was a photocopy of the dvd. Clever theives right? Fuck me. So I had to call the 800 number and wait on hold for a while. They straightned me out but what a pain in my ass. Mother fucking crooks. So watch out for that shit if you go to redbox.

Ok that's it. Happy new year. And gung ho fat choy too I guess. Out with Tiger, in with Rabbit.

Maybe I'll get chinese food tonight.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

1 comment:

Jessica A. Walsh said...

Good for you! A nice, healthy rant! :-)

I hope you got to eventually watch Despicable Me - one of my faves. It also has excellent replay value, which is very important to me.