Aug 5, 2013

Dog TV is for the Birds.

this is Bruce!
If you didn't already know, I have a Basset Hound named Bruce.  When I had a full-time job we had to leave him at home all day for 10-12 hours.  And so he didn't feel alone we'd leave the TV on for him.  I know not the most energy efficient but fuck it, I pay taxes.  Leaving the TV on whatever local news channel was on, eventually turned into screaming matches on whatever stupid  Divorce Court show, or Maury Povich so we could never leave it on that. I've decided that Bruce likes wither Science or History because I think he likes the narrators voices of whatever daytime documentary shows are on.  I also believe that somehow he subconsciously learns from it.  Just in case there's technology in the future that allows dogs to talk, he'll have something substantial to talk about.  

A few weeks ago I'd heard about this new pay-cable channel just for dogs but I didnt really believe how serious it was.   I saw that they were having a free preview of it last weekend so, out of curiosity I put it on. Not only did my dog not give a shit about it, but it was the most asinine crap ever.  When I first turned to It, there was a golden retriever gazing into a sunset with soft new-age music playing.  Then about 15 minutes later I turned it back and it was fucking Elk. No dogs, just some wildlife in the woods. Again, tranquil new-age nature music playing in the background.  Bruce still had no clue. Later I turned it back to see what it had to offer.  This time I couldnt believe it. It was a dog at the vet.  My dog can't take a car ride without freaking out for a week after a vet visit, and they're putting it on DogTV?  oh hell no!



That's some bullshit. 


DogTV should just be cats, rabbits and medium sized rodents running in a dog's POV camera angle.  Or images of people preparing steaks. A laser pointer being pointed at a wall...  An old shoe getting tossed around by a gentle tide, Frisbee being tossed...   And no stupid soundtracks... Someone saying "here boy" and "good girl" and "who wants a treat?"   Things dogs actually like.  


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