Sep 28, 2014

WTF is up with Vaping?

Let me start by saying I'm writing this looking at it from a completely ignorant, outside perspective.

 I just keep thinking that these vaporizer pens look like something really cheesy you'd see in a sci-fi movie about the future that was made in the 70's with people sucking on electronic pipe contraptions that seemed way too big and goofy looking to be an accurate portrayal of the future... yet here we are. 

kind of looks like a sonic screwdriver 

Lately I've been seeing people all over the place with what are referred to as "vape pens" and they seem to be getting bigger and more conspicuous.  When e-cigs first came out they were small, and tried to look less conspicuous. But now they're getting bigger and bigger and more like giant contraptions. Maybe they're more effective than the small E-cig ones. I have no idea, I think it's dumb. ... Better than real second hand smoke I guess. And if you're using an inconspicuous e-cig to wean yourself off of cancer sticks then that's cool I guess but it's sort of going in another direction.

Here's Katy Perry being cool as shit on
a penguin's dick.
Vape/vaping has become a thing now and not something you explain away with "oh yea, I'm quitting smoking... it's just water vapor"  It's almost become like a fashion statement or some kind of hip trend that you can participate in.  There's a part of this that seems to be a new branch of the pot-smoker, 420, burnout culture that's oh-so-prevalent here in Humboldt County...which adds that extra annoying factor.

 I've even seen people that have never smoked anything sucking on these things.  Fuck, the whole idea that "vaping" is even a word pisses me off.

I hate it. Stop it now, you look dumb.

oh yea..... and then theres this retarded cunt being one of the main spokespeople for it.  

Sep 27, 2014

Ello, is it G you're looking for?
In the wake of the recent Facebook Messenger debacle I've noticed many of my FB friends enthusiastically sharing Ello invites. Ello is what was introduced to me as a "way off facebook" a new alternative to Facebook.  
"Ello's minimal design puts emphasis on high-quality content, and makes it easy to connect with the people you really care about. Ello does not allow paid ads, and will never sell user data to third parties."
There's nothing wrong with this approach but this kind of already exists with a social networking platform you're probably already signed up for. 

"You'll find @ello, a curated collection of some of our favorite posts from the Ello community, in NOISE.
As you DISCOVER new people, follow them in either FRIENDS or NOISENobody but you will know where you've put them."
 As I read the above description I kept thinking "Dude, this is Google Plus"  The whole idea with G+ was to allow you to put people in different circles. They're even using circular profile pics for fuck's sake. Friends, Noise, or whatever else you wanted. and nobody knew what circle they are in.  The popular thing was to hate Google Plus when it came out for some reason, so now that Ello is something new, even tho it's taking most of it's core elements straight from Google Plus, for some reason, now that It's hip to hate Facebook, the G+ haters are piling onto this Ello bandwagon. 

But do we really even need another social network?  Right now Facebook and Google Plus both have their advantages. I really don't need G+ to replace FB, or ello at all for that matter. For me Facebook is for keeping up with people I know. G+ is for finding new people and being entertained /educated. I can follow very specific circles of people in a common topic. 

The thing that really grinds my gears is that if these people I am friends with on Facebook, the people I know from my real life, actually used google plus, I could filter my stream for just friends /family circles and turn off the other stuff and basically replace Facebook, but that will never happen. Nor does it need to happen because I dont hate Facebook.  

People are looking for an alternative to Facebook with ‪#‎ello‬ but most of them probably are signing up with Ello with a Gmail account which means they already have a Google Plus account, they just never took the time to learn to use it.

On the other hand, if you're joining Ello for more than just "Facebook sucks now" it does have some interesting aspects regarding security, privacy and anonymity that are worth looking into.  Pointed out fairly well in this Money.CNN piece here.  

Sep 24, 2014

PYMYM - LOST 10 year anniversary edition.

A couple years ago I posted this Post You Might Have Missed about how the TV show LOST was like an ex-girlfriend.  Now it's been fucking 10 years since it all started and I gotta say, it still hurts a little.  But damn will there ever be a TV event this impactful again?  

A LOST love.

So I was watching that show Hollywood Treasure where they find old movie and TV props and costumes to auction off. In a recent episode some LOST items came up. The knife Locke kills Jack with and a piece of flight 815 were auctioned off for a surprising  amount of money. All I could think about was "there's people still that care about that show?" I didn't think anyone would buy that crap this long after it ended. But they did. Because it was one of the best shows on tv for 4 years. But I'd forgotten that. 

As most of you know I was o b s e s e d with that show for 6 years. But now looking back that show feels like an ex girlfriend to me. An ex that I was really in love with but then I caught cheating on me and we had a really bad break up. The finale and last season and a half were so horrible, honestly I think I blocked it from my memory. When they mentioned the knife that Locke stabbed Jack with I honestly didn't even remember, what should have been a very pivotal scene had even happened. The hurt and betrayal I'd felt after 6 years of such loyalty and devotion had blinded me of all the good times we had. All the theories. Trying to fit the mysteries of season 1 and 2 into a nicely wrapped pseudo-science package. Trying to figure out what all the little clues and easter eggs meant. Then my group  of friends we were die-hard Lost fans started to worry that the writers didn't have a fucking clue about what was going to happen. Still we stuck with them when all the pundits had given up. 

Then suddenly in the course of an hour every criticism by every naysayer we'd opposed was completely validated. 

That cheating fucking whore! It was a blow to us die hards. Not only did the show we'd defended and invested so much hope in turn out to be a fucking joke... The writers made complete fools out of us. 

3 years later the wounds are still sore but healing. I still have seasons 1-4 on dvd. Maybe we can still be friends Lost. :'( 

Happy 10th birthday Lost. Click here to relive all of my obsessed rantings about Lost. 

Sep 17, 2014

PYMHM You Can't Fuck With Science (July 2007)

Here's an old Post You Might Have Missed from July 2007.  I wanted to share this with you all because, you know you still can't fuck with it.  

This is some shit that will melt your brain. fucking science man! 
3 Things That Do Not Make Sense. 
 There are a lot of things that don't make sense to us, because well, most of us are stupid. But when you stump the smartest science motherfuckers in the world ... thats something! things like.. the placebo effect, dark matter, why the Pioneer space probe started to go faster the further it got into deep space. Something called tetraneutrons which are four neutrons that are bound together in a way that defies the laws of physics and many more bits of unexplained craziness. If some of it seems dated it's because it was written in 2005.

Weird Science 2 The Journey Begins
 Here's another article (from 2007) I found today. Something most people write off as science fiction, these dudes are actually trying to figure it out. TIME TRAVEL! get your flux capacitors preheated to 99.9 Gigawatts and read this article.
Here's an excerpt regarding his theory on splitting a laser beam to go back in time... or something.

So here’s the truly mind-blowing aspect of his theory: If Signal B followed a shorter route to its detector, the fiddling in Signal A could theoretically show up in Signal B before Cramer actually tinkers with Signal A. It would be as if Cramer's actions had an effect that worked backward in time.
It will make more sense ( maybe ) when you read the whole article.
here's some more on time travel and some of the thoughts for and against it from good ol wikipedia.
Thanks for travelling back in time with me. See you next time in another Posts You Might Have Missed!  Hello to all my scientist friends!

Sep 16, 2014

Public Ranchero!

I'm part of a few private groups on Facebook. If you're on the book and you're sick of the same old bullshit posts from your supposed friends, you should look into groups for different topics and  interests. It makes Facebooking way more interesting.  In private groups I can post stuff that I might not otherwise want to share publicly, but I think it's making me more shy about posting things I used to post all the time without hesitation. so here. I almost spared you all this post but I'm feeling sharey today.

I wanted to tell the people of a group that shares gross things that I almost shit my pants  last night.  We went out for dinner. Rita's Margaritas is a family favorite. This time I opted for  the Ranchero Burrito.  It was delicioso but it wanted out of the ranch halfway home.  Ran up to the house, unlocked the door and slammed it closed behind me without even thinking about it, locking Meg and Celeste out of the house while I had explosive shits.  I almost shit on the floor as I pulled down my pants to sit on the toilet.

As most of you know, this isnt the first time I've posted something like this ...


Fuck You Humboldt Royalty

So there's certain customers at work that demand attention.  The other day this old woman butted into my coworker's conversation with another customer "excuse me arent you going to help me?"  He told her in just a moment because he was still helping the other guy. The man was cool and had basically been helped so he told my coworker to go ahead and assist the clearly bitchy old lady.

She had questions about light fixtures. As he was helping her I needed to ask him a quick technical question about something he was well versed in for my customer. He answered it and continued to explain it in more detail to my customer to which the old woman looked up to me in a shitty tone through her oversized dark sunglasses and said "Well thanks a lot"  in not so many words saying "I had to be a total cunt to get him to leave his customer and help me now you go and take him away? I'm NEVER going to get any help!"  Ugg.  So I explain to her that I can easily help with her light questions.  She was all flustered and it ended up that we didnt have exactly what she wanted. So now, since she was a total fucker It's my fault we didn't have what she wanted.

I blew it off as just another stupid rude customer but after she left another coworker of mine from a different department said "Do you know who that was?"   I was like "a rude old cunt?"   She informed me that she was  Mrs.So-In-So from the famous whatever well known Humboldt establishment.  Apparently she's somebody in this town and she knows it because she comes in here throwing her weight around expecting everyone to kiss her wrinkly old ass.

There's quite a few of these jerks who come into the store expecting preferential treatment.  Fucking Humboldt royalty who think they should be treated as such. 

Look motherfucker, I've lived here just over a year, I don't know you from an ass in the ground. I get paid shit and these floors are concrete.  You want service? Get in line behind everyone else. No one is special.  If you're a dick about it expect to wait longer. If you're actually cool I might even put you first in line. Not because you have some kind of self perceived entitlement based on your name but for being a decent human being who understands that they're in a god damned hardware store.  

Sep 11, 2014

My 9-11 Story

It's that time of year again when everyone who was old enough to remember takes a look back at a time before long airport lines, loss of privacy and rights.  And most ironically the loss of freedoms we used to enjoy before that September morning back in 2001.  A time of innocence, peace and a budget surplus.

On this day we all look back and remember every detail of that day. Everyone has a 9-11 story, and once again here's mine as I remembered it when I posted this originally back in 2006. 

It was Fall of 2001 and my band had just secured a demo deal with Madonna's record label, Maverick Records. A few weeks prior a rep from that company came to see us at one of our local shows. At that time my band was at the top of its popularity locally and we had a really good turnout. The rep was the guy who discovered the band Disturbed who was, and still is a pretty popular metal band from Chicago. The deal we got furnished us the opportunity to record a demo in Chicago with the producer that recorded all of Disturbed's music, Johnny K that would be listened to personally by the president of Maverick Records. This was the big break we had been waiting for. The weeks leading up to our visit to Chicago we rehearsed the songs we thought were our best and just started counting the days.

The counting was over. Our bags were packed, our flights all arranged and our songs were as tight as they could be. The night before we all tried to just get a good nights sleep for our big day. Earlier than I had liked, my phone rang the next morning. It was my good friend and photographer of many shows, Justin. I answered the phone and before I could rant about how early it was he said "you're not going to Chicago today" why not, what are you talking about? "turn on the TV... We're under attack" WHAT? ! Shut up man, we have our plane tickets and everything.. What the hell are you talking about? My girlfriend Meg is waking up and asking what is going on. justin continues, "no dude, they bombed the world trade center in NY" Meg turned on the TV .. I just stared with my mouth open.. Oh my god what the fuck is going on. Questions and emotions filled me, just as almost everyone experiencing this at this moment. Then, the other plane hit and I remember the news people confirming that this indeed wasn't some accident. It was an attack. As if anyone had real doubt, hope maybe, but not doubt that this was anything other than what it really was. After the reality of it all sank in, and they started talking about grounding flights I remembered I had a flight today. The chance of my life to get a real studio demo for a label just got cancelled. I heard the TV news guy say something about pieces falling off the buildings and I looked... The first tower fell.. INSANITY.. Me and Meg are just in complete awe. Then the second one falls... How could this happen?!?! Immediately conspiracy theories popped into our heads "bush probably did this" we both agreed. But why? Still worried about our flight, I called the rest of my band members who were still dealing with what they just saw on TV... We called our manager. We scrambled to the site to confirm that they would not refund our tickets... There was no clause in the agreement about terrorist attacks... We were frantic. What the hell do we do? On the TV, they were showing cheering crowds in Pakistan or somewhere, burning American flags and celebrating. whhaaat? I was like.. Why don't we fucking bomb those motherfuckers.. Look they're happy.. THEY did it.

By the next day, after reeling from all that transpired we found out finally that Hotwire is refunding tickets because of the tragedy. Without a flight tho, we still needed to get to Chicago. We wouldn't let some terrorists stop us from our chance at getting a record deal. We did what any self respecting band would do. We rented a minivan, loaded it with luggage and band equipment kissed our loved ones goodbye and drove! We drove like the wind. Nonstop minivan from Martinez to Chicago.

On the drive out there we were constantly reminded of the events from the day before. Every car on the road had an American flag on it. Every house, every storefront all had the full 2 page American flag that the newspaper printed in that days issue. It was pretty crazy. We even got some cheap Chinese made flags to put on the minivan. You could really see how unified the country was at that time. And you could defiantly see the reality of the flights being grounded. No planes anywhere.. And if you did see a plane you questioned it and got a little scared. There were a lot more rental cars and people driving. When we stopped in Cheyenne Wyoming for dinner we started talking about the Matrix sequel which was in production and that it was being filmed back home in Alameda. At this time a family had been seated near us and the father got up and corrected us on some fact we were curious about as h e walked by. He was gone before we could ask how he knew but his wife told us. "He's a director in Hollywood" cool, has he done anything we would have heard of? "he just finished American Pie 2..." And something else but I cant remember. Anyway, they were in that shitty little dinner place because they too, were driving across the country back to LA. We chit chatted about 9-11, and bragged that we were on our way to do a demo with a famous producer. 2 up and comers in the entertainment industry having no business in that little Italian restaurant brought together by a tragedy.

We finally made it to Chicago. It was amazing.. I had never been further than Reno and now I'm in Chicago, having just experienced "the Heartland" first hand. As we got closer to Chicago the first thing you see is the Sears Tower, realizing that now its the tallest building in America. We got a little worried that it would be the next target. We didn't get to go to the top and see the observation deck because it was, of course, closed because of the attack. There were these little reminders everywhere. Even tho we were there chasing our dream to be rockstars, it was overshadowed by what had happened. I'm trying not to say "9/11" because at that point, on 9-13, it wasn't a phrase people used yet. It was still just the other day to us.

One of the reminders which hit home with us was when Johnny got a letter from a record company colleague about songs that radio stations were pulling because of the attacks... "Anything referring to death, airplanes, buildings, bombs, fire..... "
etc etc etc... The list of songs included the obvious, "let the bodies hit the floor" by Drowning Pool and other heavy metal songs similar to that.. And the not so obvious "Benny and the jets" by Elton John and other songs by unthreatening artists with similar songs with "jets" or "plane" or "fire" in the title. It was ridiculous and our first taste of the powers that be stripping us of our rights and freedoms in the name of "the war on terrorism" Next came the Patriot act.

Jumping a few months ahead, my band ended up not signing with Maverick due to them not giving us an actual contract to sign. We gave them 2 weeks to listen to the demo. We paid for the trip out to Chicago but Johnny liked what we recorded so much, he was so confident we'd get a deal, he waived his fees and said to pay him when we got signed. With our confidence from that, at an all time high we took that demo and shopped it to every Major Label. Jump to November 2001, after months of schmoozing, showcasing for labels in LA we wake up the day we fly to NY to Showcase for Island records to find out that a plane crashed in NY. Not again! Our flight was not cancelled but delayed a few hours while they determined it wasn't connected to terrorism, by now we're just pissed because those damn terrorists are keeping us from getting a record deal. We joked that it was a plot to keep us down. We arrive in NY, play for Island records and through an odd turn of events, we end up the next day in a NY high rise meeting with the head of rock music at Columbia records. Midway through our meeting we get on the subject of September 11th and he shows us a photo of him and his son on a boat in NY harbor with the twin towers in the background. He tells us that the picture was taken on Sept. 9th and continues to share with us how he remembers that day. It was interesting to get New Yorker's perspective. It really hit us pretty hard never really thinking about how regular people, not directly affected by it, but who were in NY dealt with it all.

Jumping even further now. Its been a couple years, we have recorded our album and are out on tour. We've been so caught up in our success and living the dream it sort of took us out of reality. We knew that there was a war, we knew there was shit going on but we kind of didn't think about it. I remember one day in like Iowa or something at a truckstop diner looking up at a TV showing war news and saying jokingly "so, did we win yet?" but the hardened down-home USA patrons of the establishment didn't think it was funny. I never felt so small in my life. And it sort of put everything back into perspective for me. The war was real and people were still very patriotic and concerned with what was going on. 

In my original post this is the point at which I updated you on where I was at that time and the status of the nation but it's been almost 10 years since that original post. Unlike back in 2003, people have become disconnected with the "War on Terror". The word "Patriotism" is almost synonymous with militias and the religious right wing than over it's true meaning.  Hollywood distractions seem more and more prevalent and the auto-tuning of society is at an all time high.   Now we have a black President which did more to show us how racist of a country we still are than anything.  We caught BinLaden but we're still at war with terror.  The Middle East seems like more of a shit storm than ever. The government is spying on us. Guantanamo is still full of innocent (until proven guilty)  people. The economy has taken the most titanic shit ever.  The middle class is almost completely non-existent and the top 1% just keeps on buying the government, avoiding taxes and slowly tuning the United States into the next 3rd world country.

Happy 9-11.

Sep 7, 2014

O Movies I Just Watched

Some more short, to the point movie reviews for movies that came out last year.

Not a bad sci-fi flick.  Although I hate Tom Cruise. and Morgan Freeman who's in everything now found a way to be it for like 20 seconds despite him being the other big actor shown in the trailers.
Overall, its an interesting for-the-most-part original sci-fi movie with decent, not over the top action with a not too overbearing obligatory love story.

I get off on post apocalyptic visions of the future. This movie was set in like 50 years after a major future war.  Desert wastelands with tops of skyscrapers poking out. yeeeee

I give it 6 unpopped kernels.

Pretty good horror flick. Points for not being a "found footage" movie. Points for a somewhat original engaging plot and villain. Points for a pretty well written ending that sets up more movies.  I unfortunately forsee the next movie if it gets made actually being a found footage movie tho. There's a ton of home-made footage to be found from the first movie that I'm sure they'll somehow spin into the next one.

Bonus points for Amy Pond being in it.

It's about a haunted old mirror. As with most horror movies, and I've said this 100 times before, the entire bulk of the plot could be avoided by making better decisions, or one major one early on.  All they had to do was break the fucking thing but noooooooooooooooooooooo.   I swear I cant watch a scary movie these days without being disappointed with lack of logic and common sense with the main characters.

I give it 7 unpopped kernels.

Sep 2, 2014

Not Really Doing Anyone A Flavor With These

So you thought the idea of  Cappuccino potato chip was bad?  I went the extra mile and created some concepts for some new flavors. 

OK So the Doritos one isnt gross, it's just funny because it's an already popular chip that isn't Lays. 

For full size images check my Facebook photo album here.