Jan 20, 2015

Overzealous Subway Worker (classic fast food rant)

Fucking overzealous Subway worker. Stop trying to sell me on shit. Before I even order he informs me of how good the honey oat and italian cheese breads are. Neither of which I want. Then I order my hot pastrami on italian bread and tell him what kind of cheese- he instantly opens the oven while saying "one pastrami-toasted" would you like onions or peppers toasted on there? It's really good!
NO!
what about jalapenos?
NO!
when you toast them it takes off the hotness are you sure?
YES! 
 I dont even bother to tell him I didn't want it toasted in the first place.  Then he pulls it from the oven and asks what I want. This is common at Subway because it's how they do it, but I say Mustard, pickles, lettuce and pepperoncini.  He completely ignores that I said mustard because that's last according to them. I like the mustard ON THE BREAD first, which is why I didn't want it toasted. But this guy is so eager to get me out the door. I dont know why because there was no one else there.  So then he puts the pickles and peppers and lettuce then grabs the mayo and is about to squeeze it on as he asks "was there anything else?" YES YOU FUCKHEAD.. and it's NOT,  never was and never will be mayo.  I said it first if you had your head out of your ass you would have heard me say Mustard. Because normal people put the condiments on first.  "woah my bad ok mustard" then he drizzles like two little splatter lines on top of the lettuce looks up at my dissatisfied face and says "little more?"  YES.  ugg. Then he asks if I want any salt and pepper, I say no that's it so as he's wrapping my sandwich up he informs me they have oil and vinegar and that it's really good. Oh as I'm paying he informs me they also have deli mustard.  Good for you. 

Look you fucker I know what you have, I've been to a Subway before. I'm sure many people in this town have. There's 6 god damn Subways within a 2 mile radius here. 
I specifically didn't ask for oil and vinegar, or honey oat bread, or onions or deli mustard because I didn't  want it. Shut the fuck up and give me what I asked for. Oh and why the fuck was the mayo tube even in your hand?... I never once said mayo  you dipshit.

Why do I even?
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