Sep 26, 2015

Dog Park 101

file footage from a few months ago. 
I'm at the dog park tonight with Bruce and there's only a few other dogs there.  Then this old lady comes into the big dog area with a tiny little Yorkie or something.  First I'm worried that her dog is going to get eaten by Bruce or another dog... but then this lady sits down on a bench in the dog park and pulls out a cheeseburger.  Dog Park 101 lady, don't bring food into the park. Unless you want to get tackled for your burger. The whole time I'm being extra cautious of Bruce to make sure he doesn't go near where she is, because he'll snatch that shit up in a second.  I once saw a woman bring a burrito into a dog park we used to go to back home.  She was overwhelmed with 10 hungry/curious dogs and almost got knocked over. She kept backing away not grasping the reality of the situation.  People started yelling "NO FOOD IN THE PARK.. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BURRITO!!!"  She's lucky she didn't get hurt as well.  Fucking idiots. Dogs are unpredictable animals.  Especially ones you don't know. On this same note, don't bring your baby or small child to the dog park.

Bruce squats near the edge of the fence by the water faucet but doesn't really poop anything out worthy of picking up. I couldn't even see it. It soaked into the loose straw they put out to absorb the mud around the water bowls.  I let him run around a minute or two more and he acts like he wants to go.

The lady is on the bench next to the gate to the park and as I get close to her she pipes up and says "you know your dog pooped in the straw but you didn't pick it up"   WTF? I'm thinking to myself. This fucking bitch is going to try to school me on Dog Park Etiquette while she eats a juicy cheeseburger around a bunch of strange dogs?  OH HELL NO!  I told her it was a false poop and nothing came out to pick up... she kept trying to dog-par-guilt me into going back but Bruce had his leash on and was ready.  Fuck that bitch. She's lucky there wasn't a bigger dog with less self control and a less observant owner.  I wanted to call her out on the burger but we gotta pick our battles. Why are people so shitty?

Sep 22, 2015

The Best Cup of Coffee I've Ever Had.

The store where I work, Pierson's Building Center has a small cafe/bakery annex located inside the main store. It's one of I think five Ramone's Bakery and Cafe locations in the area. A couple things to note:  Piersons provides free coffee to it's customers and employees. The other thing to remember is that I am an employee of Piersons.  Just to be clear, this isn't Premium Ramones Cafe coffee they're giving away. It's whatever is good-enough-to-drink yet, give-away-free kind of coffee.  This is what I usually drink because I'm a cheapskate and it gets me through the day.  Now onto my story about the most perfect cup of coffee I've ever had. 

It was fall 2002 if my memory serves me. My band was on tour on the East Coast. We had just played the previous night in Atlantic City making our way back to Worcester Massachusetts.  It was an overcast morning traveling on the New Jersey Turnpike.  
example of a toll road service plaza oasis. 

Now, what most people living on the West Coast dont know is that all over New England are toll roads. And being that every time you exit you have to pay a toll, they've set up these convenient highway oases (oasises?) that you can enter from either direction without paying to exit the road. These usually consist of a large gas station, one for each direction of traffic exiting and a bunch of fast food and mini-marts all under one roof. KInd of like if a truck stop and a shopping mall food court had a baby.   Since it was morning we went for the Burger King but to our disappointment this wasnt an actual Burger King. It was a truck stop express BK with premade food under a lamp with no employees. Being that it was nearly 11:30am. There were only a couple stale breakfast sandwiches left.  So we turned around and saw a Dunkin Donuts.  Being from the San Francisco bay area, we'd never really experienced Dunkin Donuts or knew what it had to offer. I ordered a maple old fashioned donut and some kind of breakfast sandwich I think... and a coffee.   The nice lady working there asked if I wanted cream and sugar.  I said yes expecting to get a couple packets of sugar and maybe a powdered creamer packet, but to my surprise she just handed me a lidded to-go cup of coffee.  I asked about the accoutrements and she just nodded and said "its in there"  In my head I was like "WHAaaaaatt?!!!!!!!!!!!"  How do they know how I like it?  I'm very particular about my cream and sugar levels... she never asked me.  I was VERY sceptical. Then... I took a sip.  Temperature, perfect.  Coffee flavor, perfect. Cream level, perfect.  Sugar level, PERFECT.  OH MY GOD. I couldn't believe it how did she do this?   I made sure to tell the woman how perfect it was. I was very excited and probably freaked her out a little. People can be a little more surly in the Garden State. I will never forget that cup of coffee.  I've had coffee from Dunkin Donuts since but it was never as serendipitous as the Turnpike Dunkins.   A few years ago they started selling the coffee beans at the grocery store and everyone was hyping how good it was.  It wasn't that good. 

Which leads me to the Ramones in Piersons Building Center.   I've on occasion purchased a latte or mocha but in the nearly 3 years working there I've never purchased a regular coffee from Ramones. That is, until yesterday.  It was medium roast.  I added my own cream & sugar but damned if it didn't take me back to that foggy morning on the turnpike.  

Kudo's Ramones. This is the second best. maybe third.. no I'll have to say definitely in the top 5 cups of coffee I've ever had.

Sep 13, 2015

I think I just saw an Alien

I think I just saw an alien.  Not a UFO or a slimy mutant.  But the kind of alien, like the aliens in disguise like in the Men In Black movies.  They look just like humans but do weird shit that humans don't usually do. 
There was some commotion, a sound of crinkling plastic wrappers and sort of grunting coming from the back of the gas station mini mart while I was picking out something to drink.  Then a guy emerged from the scuffle. He was old, smallish build, kinda unkempt, needed a shave.  His messy salty hair covered his face but revealing thick rimmed glasses like you get at Walgreens.
Nothing that outright screamed alien, except he was carrying a stack, two hands holding probably every prepackaged microwave hamburger in the food cooler.  Which is weird but not alien status.  What made me certain that he was not from this world was when he started microwaving them all in the store. 
Who the fuck eats 8 gas station hamburgers at once... Inside the gas station?
That dude was a fucking alien. 

Sep 6, 2015

Fountain Coke?

Am I wrong here? It irritates me when places don't have a soda fountain for soft drinks but have soda in cans.  If they're up front about it I can make my decision to get iced tea because I'm going to want the free refills.  And don't get me started on places with no refills. 

So when I'm looking directly at a soda fountain, studying the selections when I ask for Coke and you bring me a can with a glass of ice and you never thought to mention this when I was ordering am I allowed to be pissed?

I would have fucking ordered tea.