Apple Pencil Update (I guess this is Part 7 in the saga)

Well I've had a great time using my Apple Pencil after bringing it back from the dead (see link at the end for part 5 ).  We've made some really fun drawings in the past year we've spent together but looks like I let you sleep in a bit too long again and now you wont wake up.  

Here's some fun we've had recently.  I mean, not that recent– since it was enough time for it to completely die.  The last time I used it was in fucking April.  THAT WAS LESS THAN 60 DAYS AGO FOR FUCK'S SAKE!   

this was the last thing I drew on April 12th. 

So here's a question for all you Apple Pencil people; How many of you, like me, have bricked your pencil because you didn't use it for 2 months? I enjoy Procreate but I'm not drawing every fucking day and I'm not leaving it on a fucking charger all the time. Because I'm a normal person. I feel like leaving it in a drawer with your iPad isn't an unreasonable thing to do. In all my 50 years on this earth I've never experienced a rechargeable electronic device just turn into landfill if you don't keep it charged -always. I'm trying to not hate you, Apple but you make it so damn hard.

This is the 2nd time this has happened.  The first time it died, at the end of June I got lucky that the barbaric heating it up method actually worked.  I have tried it 3 times now and it's not waking up at all.  

This is an accessory that costs upwards to $100 and for it to just become unusable after putting it away for a reasonable amount of time seems criminal. Planned obsolescence is out of control. I refuse to pay for another one. This is fucking ridiculous. Anyway, am I over-reacting?

If you want to read the whole epic saga so far of how I got a free iPad and subsequent grief with Apple choose your own adventure below:

PART ONE  leaving ATT, getting Optimum until VERO is available.  
PART TWO Leaving Optimum was a pain in the ass. (this is a good one)

PART THREE I actually got the free iPad they lied and said I wouldn't get unless I stayed another month. 

PART FOUR Apple making things difficult.  Getting the right Apple Pencil.

PART FIVE  Apple Pencil's first death and resurrection. 

(a very loosely related) PART SIX The time I thought I lost my iPad in the road. 

So I guess that makes this part SEVEN.   I wonder what part 8 will be about. 

The Sweet Valley Tapes (a dream I had last night)

I hate found-footage horror movies so I'm not sure why I dreamed this. My dream last night was basically a found-footage horror movie. I don't know who finds it or why it was being viewed but the footage was from the early 1980s. Early home movie VHS camera footage of two twin brothers. Shaggy hippy beards. Long dirty blonde hair. Shirtless hairy chests. They found their way onto the compound of a hippie commune/cult. They were called the Sweet Valley Collective.

The film starts out with innocent footage of the cult members dancing, making crafts and shit like that but then suddenly the footage is at night and it's one of the brothers filming the other. They're laughing at the idea of finding the camera. "lookie what we found" "let's make a movie!" "yea, Hollywood!! haha" Soon you notice that there's some blood smeared on his chest and splatter on his face. In his hand is a bloody shovel. Then the camera pans to the side and you see two dead female cult members on the ground. Old fashioned night dresses covered in blood.

The rest of the film is just them taking turns filming and murdering the whole cult brutally and violently.

Anyway the movie was called "The Sweet Valley Tapes" saying tapes plural implies that they stopped killing to put a new tape in but who knows. It was my dinosaur brain making shit up while I was asleep.

I don't know how it ends because it was a dream and I woke up. I like it when the killers get stopped by a clever victim in horror movies so I think that's how I'll end it. One of the cult member children, a mischievous 15 year old girl who had snuck out to romp around in the nearby town got home after the massacre started and uses the street-smarts she learned outside of the cult to stop the killers. Since the whole story is told from within this one camera I think you see this girl creeping around in the background wearing her cult dress but has a leather jacket over it like she's trying to be cool and doesn't totally want to be in this cult. The killers at one point put down the camera to film them both killing so they don't see her sneak in through a window. But the stationary camera sees her and the killers don't notice her because they're focused on the joy of killing the kids. Maybe she calls out by name to one of the other kids like "Mary? NO!" and then pulls out her weapon and starts fighting the killers.

The final scene of the killers getting taken out is captured on film but the camera is on the ground after getting knocked down in the scuffle. With the tape still recording, most of the action happens off camera so you dont know right away that she's the one winning the fight. You hear the killers begging for their lives as she comes into view and picks up the camera. Then she turns the camera to the killers and you see close-up footage from her perspective pointing the camera at the final blow, her brutally slashing their necks with a very distinct large knife. She turns the camera to her own face and smiles widely in a creepy evil way holding the bloody knife to the camera and then she drops the camera. You see the ground and the feet of the dead killers. Then her feet walking out of frame. It films the floor and the dead guys feet for a few second then the tape runs out. Click. It ends. This would end up being a full circle moment calling back to the radio news reel that was playing at the beginning of the movie with the girls doing chores. It was warning of a serial killer on the loose who uses a distinct large knife and to be careful. The girls more-or-less ignore this and keep working and talking. The whole time you think it's the brothers who are the killers they talked about but at the end you realize it was the 15yr old cult member girl who likes to escape the compound and romp around in the town nearby who was the killer. ooh TWIST! lol This whole ending is probably cliche but I dunno I'm not a writer. Horror movies are usually lame anyway. Especially found-footage. Have a great day. Trump sucks forever.

You Park Like An Asshole

 I had this long diatribe about AI I wanted to post but I think everything has been said on the matter.  You're either with the robot overlords (via the billionaires)  or you support humanity.  That's all I'm gonna say but while we're talking about humans– I think we're already doomed. 

The parking lot where I work seems to be too difficult for some of us.   Here's a google maps aerial view.  It is extremely difficult for the humans to understand the direction they're supposed to drive in this parking lot.  Every single day someone fucks themselves because they're going the wrong way.  But the real reason for this is one particular spot.  

I was going to initially just getting a screenshot to show the area where people park that they are clearly not supposed to park but it's so common it was actually captured in the fucking Google Satellite view! Look at this asshole.  There's an empty space right fucking there and they just park their big stupid truck wherever the fuck.  I hope their life is 3 seconds longer for the time they saved by not parking 5 feet farther away.  It happens almost every day.  It's usually some douche with a huge truck and trailer.  There's tons of space farther away they could take up 2 spaces if they need to but they'd rather just pull in and stop.  Often they just park in the middle of that area I circled.  Delivery trucks use that space to get out of the gated area on the left of the image.  

Here's a couple other historical aerial photos that show people getting caught sucking at parking through the years.  Going back to at least 2012.  And remember this isn't someone taking a photo when they see a bad parking job.  These are random aerial photographs cataloged by Google Earth. 

I've seen this shit so often I've stopped taking pics of it or I just deleted the pics to save room in my cloud storage.  Here's what I just so happened to save.  You picking up on a theme of what type of vehicle is doing this?  I feel like they're already pissed they have to go to the back lot and cant just take up the 4 front parking spaces next to the door to the building so they take it out on the people who have to drive through here.  Every once in a while it's giant RV's totally blocking the lane to the last two rows where the employees park.  It's fucking ridiculous. 

I mean fuck it right?  who cares?  I feel like it's these small violations of the rules of society that should get the highest punishment.  You're breaking a social contract with the rest of the people around you.  You're being selfish.  These things add up and it starts to break down our society.   There are rules for a reason and all it takes is for that one time your breaking of a small rule you deemed unimportant for someone to get hurt.  I hate all of these fucking selfish assholes.  

Spicy Taco Bell Lady is Living Muy. (Fast Food Noggins)

I just ordered Taco Bell drive thru to get my favorite top tier fast food breakfast item, the Breakfast Crunchwrap with Sausage. I used to get the meal deal with a 4 pack Cinnabon Delights (click here for a funny taco bell cinnabon story) and a coffee but they recently changed their coffee and it tastes like industrial cleanser now. I complained twice thinking it was just maybe because I was the first person to order black coffee that day and they maybe just cleaned the coffee maker but the second time the guy said they recently changed their coffee brand and I wasn't the the first person to complain. How many people does it take because it's totally gross now. It's a bummer because I used to actually not hate their coffee.

Now while I'm taking a gander at the order screen I notice that they have the new Limited Time Only: Salted Caramel Churros. They didn't have em when we ordered from the app last time so I hopefully asked if they had them.

Gonna interject here to set the mood a little bit. I've noticed almost every FF place around here anyway has one older Mexican Madre running the whole fucking place. Even if she's not the manager she's in charge, everyone knows it and she doesn't fuck around. The employee in this story was the Taco Bell Madre.

After I ask if they have the Salted Caramel Churros she hesitates– not a long time but a noticeable amount in terms of drive-thru flow. She finally replies.. "(inaudible drive-thru speaker sounds)..tunately – yes. Do you want to order that?" So I say yea and she gives me my total. As I'm driving away from the menu scree I'm thinking "did she just say fortunately or unfortunately?' The vibe sounded like it was unfortunate that they had the new Limited Time Only-Salted Caramel Churros but she said yes so I'm not sure if she's just being spicy or not. This is the Madre we're dealing with so who knows. All I could think is that if it was unfortunately, that they were hard to make and people have been getting mad that their orders were taking so long.

I eventually get up to the window and she immediately asks me if I like the churros. I told her that I'd never had em and I wanted to try them. Then she makes a grimace and says "ayeee they're too salty. I don't like it" while shaking her head. Ha! She was being spicy!

"no bueno!" 

Review: They are kinda salty but in a salted caramel treat from Disneyland kinda way. Not sure I'd describe them as too salty if she hadn't said anything. 8/10 would again.

Why Are Rich People So Gross?

Why are rich people so weird and gross? All the Epstein stuff coming out is just some of the worst shit imaginable and even shit you would never imagine.  Then I just read an SFGATE story that's kind of not important, about a bday party for a 49ers exec with a who's who of well known SF elite attendees where they had live sex acts & BDSM show as the entertainment.  "Among the entertainers were “male and female strippers from the Mitchell Brothers theater, some simulating fellatio; a 300-plus pound sadomasochist performing oral sex on his female partner; and a leather-clad dominatrix who carved a satanic star into a man’s back, urinated on him and sodomized him with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s,” Like what is the appeal? In private do whatever you want (within legal reason obviously) but what is it with rich people and being so gross and weird? Like Bohemian Grove, Eyes Wide Shut weird shit.  

Many moons ago when my old band was talking to record companies we started brushing up against that gross world. Record company turds would wave rich shit at us.  It started out innocently with expensive steak dinners in Hollywood and NYC but then devolved to strippers and drugs to try to woo us into signing with their label. After seeing all that shit from the inside I used to joke that the record business was just a bunch of dudes jerking each other off. And it's just not the record business it's just all business where greed runs everything. Sex and debauchery are currency. It's gross.

Some guys I knew who's family had their own small business grew up rich kids because of it and just the kind of gross shit they would do as adults working for that company. Lie, cheat on their wives, take clients to strippers, buy hookers, use cocaine all like it was a badge of pride. something to brag about, to try to get other rich turds to do business with them  because other rich turds are suckers for it.  And they learned all of this shit from their dad who they knew did all that shit too.  

It's like they knew there was this imaginary place they didn't actually know was Epstein Island but being able to have access to it was a life goal for these types of people.

If you're still here, thanks for reading all that. This is just my personal experience being let into the secret weird world of gross rich people hoping I'd be impressed by it. And just feeling gross about it. Kind of the plot of HOSTEL 2.  I mean I never really thought about it until now but yes, all this Epstein shit totally tracks. It's like they're so rich they start run out of shit that gets them off and then use this shit to try to impress other psychopaths. 

Happy New Year! You get Photo Friday!!

Welp, we made it another year.   Here's some photos. 
 

Band recording.  Hopefully you will get to hear it this year. 

Fuck Trump.  Forever.  

Dude brought a snake to the F st. Market. 

I made a real pumpkin pie from a real pumpkin!  It was good! 

Had Thanksgiving Poutine.  Because fuck America right now. 

Their bones are their money.  and so are the worms. 

found the Taco PEZ that the Lego Taco PEZ is based on.  

Welcome to Derry. 

Thank god for the sign.  That would have been bad. 

Hey Sanna! 

Totes legal.  

Fuck this stupid bridge. I hate it. 

IYKYK

Norman says fuck the birthplace of the Martini. 

sick ride. 

this motherfucker scared the shit out of me.

ELF delivering mail. 

Hey, Canada eh. 

Rainbow over the refinery.  

Norman sleeps weird.  This cant be comfortable. 

Lets hang out in the creepy corner. 

I originally thought Tweeker built but someone suggested Grandpa built and I can totally see it. 

We busted open the very large snack basket for New Year's Eve. 

CHAT PILE!!! (all 5 of them!)

Made some fun drinks to ring in the new year.  (just kidding this is gross)