Feb 27, 2009

Paula Abdul Friday Photo Blog

So I'm sucked into the void of anything good known as American Idol again. And every year I'm on Paula-Watch. Most of the first round of episodes I've noticed they do a good job editing out her weirdness. But since they've gone to the live TV format, the crazy is starting to shine through again. God bless America. Another thing I gotta say is, while I wasn't sure I liked the new top 36 everyone but 3 get sent home each week format, It sort of works because there's some stinking piles of shit up on stage. Even then, this format sucks, because if you liked someone since the auditions and they had an off night, there's no second chance. I guess I could be calling in an voting.

Yea right, I'm not that pathetic.

Here's how pathetic I am.. look at stuff:



my book arrived. slight printing issue which was partially my faut. It's been fixed tho. BUY IT!

it's good with coffee
I've become slightly obsessed with octo-mom.
what a piece of shit.

Vivid's offering her a million dollars to do a porn, and will pay all of her and her families medical expenses if she signs on as a Vivid porn star. will they pay for the plastic surgery to remove the 30 yards of extra belly skin before they roll camera? ew.

stickers arrived! stooked.

peanuts are messy. Birds get a bad rap for being messy pets, but they eat nuts, so it's not their fault. It's the peanuts.

my nickname with the ladies (JK)

fuck you plumbing!


this is the secret to making a kick ass quesadilla. It's good on tacos too.



newest font.


all the fonts I've done so far.



unofficial mock up idea for a Caballero deck. Cab's artwork.


more Lost crap I made.
at this point this is what the writers are using as a guide for the script.


The island was a govt. works project under FDR.


this screenshot from next weeks preview clearly proves that it's Lions With Machine Guns. (LWMG™)

Feb 26, 2009

I hate Lost.

Like a steering wheel in down Pirate's pants, It's drivin' me nuts.

So, Widmore put Locke on Flight 815 so he could come back to the island, so he could go back in time a year later and meet Widmore 50 years before so he could make sure lock gets on Flight 815 and go back in time a year later and meet Widmore 50 years before, so he could make sure lock gets on Flight 815 and go back in time a year later and meet Widmore 50 years before so he could make sure lock gets on Flight 815 and go back in time a year later and meet Widmore 50 years before so he could make sure lock gets on Flight 815.....

what the fuck? Where does it all begin?

Just like, if it is in fact Hurley's voice on the radio saying the numbers when Danielle's team crashes, Hurley hears numbers repeated by Lenny who says he heard them on a listening station in the pacific and gave him bad luck, but Hurley uses them anyway to win the Lottery but has bad luck then goes mad trying to figure out why, ends up in Australia, and then to flight 815 which crashes on the island, where the numbers are all over the place, then years later via flight 316 ends up back on the island in the past and somehow ends up recording the numbers which broadcast from the island that Hurley hears numbers repeated by Lenny, who says he heard from a listening station in the pacific and gave him bad luck, but Hurley uses them anyway to win the Lottery but has bad luck then goes mad trying to figure out why, ends up in Australia, and then to flight 815 which crashes on the island, where the numbers are all over the place, then years later via flight 316 ends up back on the island in the past and somehow ends up recording the numbers which broadcast from the island that Hurley hears numbers repeated by Lenny, who says he heard from a listening station in the pacific and gave him bad luck, but Hurley uses them anyway to win the Lottery but has bad luck then goes mad trying to figure out why, ends up in Australia, and then to flight 815 which crashes on the island, where the numbers are all over the place, then years later via flight 316 ends up back on the island in the past and somehow ends up recording the numbers which broadcast from the island that Hurley hears numbers repeated by Lenny, who says he heard from a listening station in the pacific.... etc etc.

Fuck you Lost and your dumb time travel bullshit.

two have died of time travel nosebleeds so far, who's next?

Feb 24, 2009

Mickey Rourke, Gay Marriage and Weed.

I'm glad that Mickey Rourke decided to come out of witness protection, despite his court ordered identity alterations and make some new movies. I congratulate him on his Oscar nomination for The Wrestler. But now that he's played a disfigured comic book villain and now Macho Man Randy Savage all he has left that his horrible mug can pull off is the lead role when and if they make a Dog, the Bounty Hunter movie.

It sucks that he didnt win the oscar but if he did we wouldnt have got the awesome acceptance speech from Jeff Spicoli. 'Yeah Prop-8 was some bullshit buuuud'.

Speaking of CA politics... legal weed? Hey why not? I don't smoke, drink or do any drugs but I really think that alcohol is more damaging than weed. It's really a double standard to have cigarettes, booze and caffeine legal and extremely commercialized and have marijuana so heavily prosecuted.

I think I read somewhere that back around WW2, the Army was using hemp for its rope and netting and what not, and DOW Chemical invented Nylon™ and lobbied heavily for the US govt. to ban hemp and marijuana. I think that's pretty fucked.

Anyway, while I think there's no good reason for pot to be illegal, I think the negative aspects of the marijuana subculture and the abuse of the medical marijuana laws is detrimental to any chance it has to be a legitimate legalized product like beer or cigarettes.

So, congrats Mickey Rourke. Your portrayal of DOG is sure to be Oscar worthy. Hollywood types.. get on that.

Feb 22, 2009

Who's Famous Again?

I was approached by Grahamphisher.com for an interview asking me about my art and crap. It's a new site, and I'm the second interview they've done so head over and show some love for me and grahamphisher.

checketout! http://www.grahamphisher.com/

in other fame news, Pee Pants has been downloaded 61,692 times. That's not counting the few other font sites that have picked it up.

thanks everyone!

Feb 20, 2009

Riding the Bluetooth Lazy River

Sorry for the tardiness, I forgot my card reader and had to use bluetooth to transfer my pics. It takes a little longer. Also I was really late today and there was a young mom with her chubby toddler who's limited vocabulary included the word "candy" ... no baby, no candy, we gettin' macdonalds.. much better. Like i'm one to talk. oh well..

..eye vagina, meet blog cock!






this is Diego, a coworkers dog.

I love the illustrations. poor little guy.


Death by train!!! dude in richmond parked on the tracks and got out just in time to get splatted by an Amtrak at 80mph. Apperantly it was a suicide. My brother works at Amtrak and took this pic when it got to Oakland where they switched out the Locomotive for a new one and 10 mins later it killed another person on the tracks in Hayward. dude whats up? if you look close you can see teeth. the guy got impaled on the knuckle there, head was severed by the bar going between the lights. seriously, if your not commiting suicide, be careful around tracks. trains cant stop. now to wash your sign synapses.. here's a....

....RAINBOW! happy now?


I was drawing this at the laundry mat and this lady comes up to me and says something in spanish.. then when I looked at her funny, again in English. "are you an artist" no shit. but it's what she said next that kind of baffled me.. look at the drawing.. she said "Oooh that is so beautiful, you draw so nice" lady, its a toilet monster shitting out a fat naked guy with flames coming from his asshole.

not even dragons can make this Sizuki cool.

snow on Mt. Diablo!


gato numero uno. Piggy is getting old. sucks.


gay dog.

RAAAR




more fonts


Lost goofs







oh yea, until yesterday, when they took it out, there was $100 Million in the CA budget for State Controllers Office furniture.. REALLY? that's why were closing schools? for million dollar chairs?

rant over.. have a lovely week end

Feb 19, 2009

"The Hot Sandwich"

It's like a Dirty Sanchez but with 2 chicks and a soul patch.

Just kidding..

Actually, this is just another food rant.

Let me ask you this, isn't the point of getting cheese on a hot sandwich so that it melts into the meat? (again not intended to be sexual)

well, the mother fucker at TOGO's hasnt grasped this concept yet... I watched him dump a generous amount of mustard. Both breads no less, then I cringed when he put the cheese on the mustard. I have this thing about cheese touching mustard without a buffer. Then as he's putting the cold veggies on cheese I realize that my hot meat is going to go directly on produce thus denying me of melty cheese meat.

Thanks asshole, now my lettuce is soggy and my cheese is cold and mustardy. Gross!

And that Togo's is always busy so It's not like I'm gonna make the long ass line wait while he rearranges my cheese.

SANDWICH RUINER! You area professional sandwich maker, you think that the cheese/hot meat logic would have crossed your mind at some point.

Also I'd like to ad that I think their $6.50 Large sandwich got smaller. Man, what happened to Togos? I have fond memories of an all wood paneled Togos with shitty wooden booths from my childhood. And #9's piled so high with Pastrami you couldnt finish.

UGH, I just ate a huge hunk of cold American cheese.. gross.

Feb 17, 2009

Kittens?

El Gato might be pregenantay.



Now that were pretty sure he's a girl cat. We're wondering if he's hanging out and meowing all the time, because he's got a pan of cupcakes in the oven.

Feb 15, 2009

Time Travel's a Bitch. (LOST CONTENT)

So I've been cruising the Lost forum and some interesting mind fucks have caught my attention.

Since time travel has been introduced, in one shape or another, this makes me rethink any logical theories I've had for this show. The time line goes all over the place now. And while Dan says, you cant change what's happened, he seems to sure as hell be trying to do exactly that. Also, who's to say, that what you do to change history, you didn't already do?

You might want to lube up your brain vagina for this.

One new theory is that Aaron, is actually Ben's son. Yea that's what I said, but check it out..
Thomas (pictured left- at least the actor that played him), Claire's babydaddy, looks a lot like a young Ben. So if you can believe that Ben, in his 20's went back in time and to Australia to impregnate Claire. He was all stoked that she was pregnant, but then, when it was too late to abort, he disippears. Sounds like a Ben move to me. This also supports the idea that he knew Claire would be on that plane. And, why it was HIS lawyer looking for blood samples. Another supporting theory is that the painting in Widmore's office, the hatch, and the paintings Thomas did look like the same artist. (they're all Lost executive producer Jack Bender's work, but that's besides the point) more on Thomas here.

Ok, your brain hole blown out yet? Check this one out. How's this for an explanation for the numbers. What if the origin of the numbers is in fact, the random lotto drawing, and that Hurley somehow in some crazy time travel circle was responsible for making the code, the iterations, and the hatch etching be those numbers?


I need a cigarette and a reach-around.
I am reminded of this classic piece of cinematic genius which ironically, explains the joys of time travel plots.

Bill: Can we get your dad's keys?
Ted: Could steal them but he lost them two days ago.
Bill: If only we could go back in time to when he had them and steal them then.
Ted: Well, why can't we?
Bill: Cause we don't got time.
Ted: We could do it after the report.
Bill: Ted, good thinking dude. After the report we'll time travel back to two days ago, steal your dad's keys, and leave them here.
Ted: Where?
Bill: I don't know. How about behind that sign? That way when we get here now, they'll be waiting for us. (bends down and picks up the keys) See?
Ted: Whoa! Yeah! So after the report we can't forget to do this, or else it won't happen. But it did happen! Hey, it was me who stole my dad's keys!

Oh Keanu where did it all go wrong?

Feb 13, 2009

Jason Vorhees Memorial Photo Blog.

Don't worry too much, he always comes back.

Theres a special Friday the 13th episode of Psych on tonight. Also, traffic was really light today. I wonder if that many people are superstitious.

ok here's some eyeball wax.
this is Gato. He just showed up one day and meows all the time.
**update: turns out he is a she. **

meeeaww

12,551? are you fucking kidding me?

Zachary's Stuffed baby.




Yummy died. word is, he got nailed trying to cross train tracks on foot when the gates were down. Bad move Yummy.

Oh yea!


It's a bloody, buddy.


the melody of shitting. BRRRRRRT


photoshop fun...

And here's some chops I did while chatting on the Lost forum. They were more funny in context.





Here's some goofs from a "LOST T-Shirt ideas" thread.





dont forget to buy my Art Book. click the buy button in the sidebar. ----------->

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!