Apr 9, 2021

I Was Born in the Mid-Late 20th Century...

...Like a Fucking Artifact that Archeologists In The Future Will Dig Up and Study.

 I just read this comment on a throw away meme that's blowing my mind a little.  The meme was joking about a young person saying that teh movie The Matrix was made in the late 1900's and how its making middle aged people like myself feel old.  The comment someone wrote was talking about a conversation with a kid in the not-so-far future. "...I tell them I was born in the late 1900's ...They go tell their friends that I lived back in the old times of horses and buggies and flip phones, during Vietnam and the Great Depression and WWI because at this point the 1900's is a monolithic century in the distant past that all kinda runs together and they have no concept that 1998 was very different from 1908. " –  insert head_exploding.gif here.

It took me doing a bunch of historical photo research for work to really start to get a grasp of the 1800's.   1808 was very different that 1898. Not as different as the advancements and changes that happened in the 1900's but more that most people think.  Saying the 1900's and the Matrix movie together threw me off since we usually say "19th century" or "20th century"   I always associate late 1800's as 1808-1809 and so on.  It's funny to think that some kid is just gonna yadda yadda the whole 20th century some day tho.

I have also often wondered how the 1970's seemed so much different to me as a teenager in the 1990's than the 1990s does to me now.  So much happened from the 70's to the 90's that I'm sure people who were teens in the 70's notice the difference right? Does the 90's seem as goofy to teenagers in the 2010's as the 70's did to me? Or even the 2000's to kids in high school now? When I was a kid growing up in the 80's the 1960's was like antique Black and White, Hippy fueled Twilight Zone of giant steel cars and olden times.  Were the 2000's that much different than 2021?   Did kids growing up in the 2000's think the 80's was some ancient wood paneled, VHS cassette, neon sit-com, acid-washed, Walkman, MTV Twilight Zone?   Gah.. just crazy to think about.

Yea, The Matrix came out in the "late 1900's" Jesus fucking shit I'm an old person now.

Mar 22, 2021

A Year Later

Lately my Facebook Memories feed is full of all of the things that we did a year ago to "get us through a couple months of quarantine" –These things gave us hope that we could survive not only physically but mentally get us through a new temporary way of living.   And it worked– with the hopeful  idea in the backs of our heads that it was going to end soon.  Then spring turned to summer and when the sunny weather didn't 'magically' make it go away autumn arrived cases kept soaring, people kept dying reality set in and all of these fun distractions just devolved into daily reminders of how fucked up this whole thing actually is.   Stores being sold out of N95 masks turned into a new market of fun, designer pandemic masks.  This all was more of a reminder of how shitty people  truly are and how this was probably going to last a whole year.  Or longer.


I even jumped on the bandwagon and made some funny stickers.  My band made a social distance demo with a tongue-in-cheek title and album cover.  We were even worried the pandemic would be over before we could release it.   It came out in August. 

 It was just around a year ago I remember seeing the news stories of new Covid outbreaks in the Midwest and New England all traced back to Spring Breakers in Florida.   With every positive news story or low infection day, there was Trump telling a stadium full of unmasked people the virus wasn't real.   Eventually the howling at 8pm started to fade and the sun started to go down at 6pm.  No one sang opera from their balconies.  The Zoom parties with friends got less frequent.  Not only was Tiger King was a distant memory but Carole fuckin' Baskin was already voted off Dancing With The Stars.  We even stopped baking sourdough bread despite the stores finally restocking those coveted yeast packets. We just wanted it to end.  As I open the last Costco pack of my toilet paper stockpile I wonder if it will ever end.

Here we are a year later.  We survived the winter while going out to eat under a tarp in a freezing, semi-permanent outdoor restaurant seating structure.  The country is nearly ready to open the vaccine to all adults over the age of 18 but yet again thousands or horny dumb shit college students went back to Florida to breed a new strain of Covid-19 that they'll take home with them. To towns full of morons who refuse to get the vaccine.  So now I wonder, what kind of mutations is this virus going to morph into that will render the vaccines people are getting useless?  How much longer am I going to have to wear a fucking mask?

I think I probably said this a year ago, but this is how I think humanity dies. Not war, not an asteroid, not global warming...  just our own damn stupid selves being too bothered to stay home for a couple months and wear a mask. 

Feb 25, 2021

This is the One Where I Complain About Mail Trucks

Sooooo I just saw that we're finally getting a new updated US Mail truck!  My 21st century eyeballs almost popped out of my head when I saw that the new USPS trucks are NOT going to be electric.  Not only do they look like the Pope Mobile fucked a 1979 Oldsmobile Sedan,  this article says that only about 10% will be electric.  According to Trump shill and somehow still employed Postmaster General Louis DeJoy,  it would cost too much to make them electric.   I'm no expert but I bet there's another thing that costs a lot – buying 100% newly custom designed trucks from an industrial military company that have to be built from the ground up.  It's no secret that we've needed an updated fleet of the old clunker mail trucks for a long time.  In my lifetime there have been two different mail trucks I can remember; The old Jeep ones and the big boxy ones we have now.  That being said, would it not have been cheaper to buy a fleet of already existing electric vans like the Ford Electric Transit's or something and paint them white and slap on a USPS logo?  You could even use the ones they make for the UK since they have the opposite steering wheel already.   I'm sure there are "reasons" like "bigger windshield, a collision-avoidance system and air conditioning"  Novel state-of-the-art extras that consumer cars have been coming with standard for the last howevermany years!   Mail trucks not having Air Conditioning for the last 25 years is such the perfect cliche government corner-cutting measure you'd expect tho isn't  it?   
I might be full of shit on this but I heard the reason you see mail carriers wearing those cute mailman shorts, in rain sleet or snow is because that's the government provided uniform.  If you want long pants, no matter where you're route is, you gotta pay for them yourself.  Who needs air conditioning  anyway when you're wearing shorts tho right?  America, fuck yea!
It just seems like this exact thing is the most obvious thing to use electric vehicles for.  They don't need to go long distances and they're stopping and starting all the time.   Oh, kind of off topic, and I've complained about this before but, why don't mail carriers WALK any more? Even the photo below shows the mail carrier delivering envelopes FROM THE DANG TRUCK.  Maybe they're embarrassed of the shorts.  I dunno.  It's just something I've noticed.

While we're on the topic of "too expensive" I'm really getting tired of the government doling out blank checks to the military while simultaneously bending over backwards to help the wealthiest tax eligible entities to  pay as little in taxes as possible and saying we cant afford anything that actually benefits the country.    It's just all kinds of fucked.  This is why we can't have nice things... you know like Healthcare and Higher Education, Living Wages and god damn
environmentally conscious, modern, air conditioned Mail Delivery Trucks.  

Again. I'm sure there are "reasons" for all of this that I do not know fully or understand and some I do understand...  but wait,  why the fuck is DeJoy even still there again? He was part of Trump's attempt to suppress people's votes right?  Biden, what the fuck?......  Lock Him Up!  ...and his stupid over-priced, ugly-as-hell military-grade gas-guzzling mail trucks that we're going to be saddled with for the next 30 years.

Wear a mask, wash your hands and stop having parties. 

Jan 22, 2021

Why Isn't Trump in Jail Yet?


I'm getting a lot of posts in my Facebook memories today where I'm passionately sharing my opinions about the first Trump Impeachment. I'm being reminded of all the illegal and fucked up things Trump has done, that he got away with because he was president. (look up Spiro Agnew as to the weak-ass reason why) and then today I googled  "What crimes can Trump be charged with now that he is no longer president"  I have still not found a definitive list of crimes but I found this TIME article that had a paragraph that got me thinking.

"The closest thing to a legal precedent [for Biden's DOJ to charge Trump with crimes while in office] is the decision not to prosecute President Richard Nixon after he resigned from office. His successor, Gerald Ford, granted him a full pardon in 1974, arguing that a criminal trial would arouse “ugly passions” and further polarize the nation."

While an admirable sentiment, the other side of that coin is that Trump didn't feel any need to find unity from Nixon's situation.  If anything the Nixon and Agnew situation emboldened him to go ahead and do illegal shit anyway while knowing that he could get away with it.  He intentionally sought out "ugly passions" to get votes and bolster his ego.  Ugly passions is what solidified his base.  "Ugly passions" stormed and invaded the Capitol building in the last days of his presidency. 
Unity and less polarization seems nice but Trump, and future presidents need to know they can't get away with this shit.  A finger wag and a slap on the wrist doesn't work on sociopathic, narcissistic, compulsive lying ego maniacs. If they find a loophole they jump through it with as much shit they can fit in their pockets.

Former President Donald Trump needs to be charged and sentenced in every possible crime he's committed. No President or elected official is above the law and this needs to be made very clear for when there's another Trump.

This also goes for anyone working with him including his kids and members of congress. 

Jan 13, 2021

Smart Watches Are Still Dumb. PYMHM Redux

Back in 2013 smartwatches were becoming all the rage.  As I explained back then (below) I thought they were stupid and couldn't understand the infatuation with them.  I'll never have a smart watch and still think they're the stupidest idea ever.  

This old post about smartwatches and people talking into their wrist like they're a character in a 1960's spy movie got me thinking about how it's somehow become acceptable for people to be talking to their wrists, phones, cars, Alexa... even smart TV remotes.  Shut up! 

I still don't feel comfortable talking to my phone.  I feel weird still no matter how much they try to normalize it. I hate being on speakerphone and even more when other people are.  I'm constantly paranoid my earpiece volume is loud enough people can hear it. I really don't like being on the phone in public.   I hate having my phone calls on my car stereo and being able to hear people having private conversations on their mega-watt hi-fi 10 speaker sub woofer surround sound car stereos.  I never had a BT earpiece when those were cool (they were never cool).  I have a Google Home speaker that I never use because talking to inanimate pieces of artificial intelligence is fucking weird.  I can just as easily use my phone to google something.  I never could understand this trend in technology where everyone around you can hear your business. And still, never understand why people think it's ok to talk to their wrists. 

Anyway here's my thoughts on smart watches with all of it's vintage tech goodness from Dec 2013.

Post You Might Have Missed:  Smart Watches...pffft!!

I keep hearing all this buzz about smart watches. Samsung's Galaxy Gear is the supposed new hope for a smartwatch that actually isn't lame.  Many companies have announced development of different designs and products over the years but they've all fizzled out.

Vintage Google Image search for "smart watch" from 2013

Just about every space or future sci-fi movie has some kind of wrist worn communication device.  As the Samsung commercial for the Galaxy Gear reminds us, from Star Trek to Knight Rider they've all got some cool wrist watch that you can talk to or whatever. But here's the major problem with this idea... It's an old idea. Some of these fictional versions are concealing a communication device in a object that at the time was common for people to have.  It's an idea that was cool, when people actually still wore wristwatches. Watches are basically jewelry now.
Most people that are into new gadgets have already put their Timex in the back of a drawer because everyone carries a smartphone now.  Smartphones have replaced the wristwatch. It's a fact and there's nothing these tech giants can do about it.  Watches get in the way. A smartwatch will NEVER replace a 5.5" screen on a phablet.  It's just another thing to carry around.  Like iPods. They were cool until your phone could hold just as many mp3's and call people and go on the internet and play games. So, a watch-phone is just gonna be another one of those things that are cool for a minute but then people realize they still have to keep their phone on them.  Just like tablets. Lets be honest, your iPad now stays at home for your kid to play with or for you to play scrabble while you sit on the couch. They are pretty much useless and cumbersome as a functional mobile device. Nothing more ridiculous than seeing people holding up a 10 inch iPad to take pictures at an event.
So, what I'm saying is; No one wears a watch anymore. The screen is too small to enjoy. You already have a smartphone. No one is gonna really want or need this.
Google Glass, in my opinion is the path forward. Right now you'll look more stupid wearing them, than wearing a Galaxy Gear smartwatch, but it's the real future of mobile tech.

 The way I see it, why do I need to wear a camera and a computer when I have one built into my skull already. Figure out how to access that shit and put it on the internet and you've got the real future of communication tech.

Brain implants here we come!


 I was so sure this was going to be a passing fad and would not last.   I probably would have been right too if Apple had not come out with one 2 years after I wrote this.  Fucking Apple cult.  And boy was I wrong about Google Glass.  People weren't too into everyone wearing spy camera glasses either.  Here's to hoping for brain implants!   Thanks for reading the noggins!  Happy New Year!