Dec 4, 2017

Cooking with Kirk. Holiday Eggnog Waffles Edition.

Oprah. Loves. Bread...  and I love waffles!  ...and eggnog!

Ok, first of all, let me start with whole my deal with waffles.  At some point in history it was decided that all waffles at restaurants and all retail-sold waffle makers would be of the thick, bready, Belgian waffle variety. A sub-par choice compared to the thinner more traditional flat, round and crispy waffle. It's like the thinner superior waffles ended up being the BetaMax of waffles and Belgian, the inferior VHS.  And whenever you see waffles on the menu, with a very few exceptions its really waffle–singular.  One fucking thick, stupid waffle for $7.00.  And if it's part of a breakfast combo, as it is with pancakes or french toast, they charge $12.00 and there's no potatoes or toast.  Pancake/French-toast/Waffle is NOT a substitution for toast.  Toast is how you eat your over-easy eggs.  So when I do order an extra side of toast don't bring my food,  say "your toast will be right up" and then NEVER COME BACK.  I cant eat my eggs without the toast lady.  I can't be alone on this?  

Knowing my passion for waffles my lovely Girlfriend got me a traditional thin waffle iron.  I've been using it and experimenting with recipes ever since.  I've got a pretty decent recipe down but every once in a while I mess around and try new things.  Since it's the holidays and we have a fresh 1/2 gallon carton of eggnog  in the fridge I decided to use it to make waffles.  Eggnog, like waffles is one of my favorite things in the whole world.  

 I hate that you can only get it during this time of the year.   One time on summer break from high school some friends and I were all talking about how we all loved eggnog and then were all like "dude why cant you get eggnog at any other time other than Christmas time?"  So we found a recipe in an old cookbook and made it. I thought It was kinda eggy but my drinkin' friends put half a bottle of Moe's stepdad's whiskey in it and decided it was the best eggnog they'd ever had.   I've heard some places have Easter Eggnog in the Springtime.  I have not yet seen this with mine own eyes.

Homer has the right idea here. Stockpile the stuff! 

Back to the waffles.  I basically just subbed out the milk for eggnog and added some nutmeg and a little cinnamon for that holiday spice.   I topped them with real maple syrup and a little slice of cranberry sauce.  Hella good!  

Here's my secret recipe:

I make this without any measuring cups or spoons every time so I'm not really sure of the exact amounts of shit.

Start with more than a cup of flour. Not quite 2 cups. 

About a tablespoon and half of sugar. Like a palm full. 

About 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder. (not soda) 

A couple shakes of nutmeg and cinnamon. (this is to boost the eggnog flavor. I usually don't add this)

Kinda whisk that together.  

Just one egg.  (I've seen recipes that beat the whites separately until thick then fold them in but fuck that shit. Seems like too much work for a damn waffle. We're not changing a tire on the star track millennium enterprise here) 

Like...  a tablespoon veg oil.  I just eyeball it and pour it in. 
I've started experimenting with adding more oil and about some corn starch but I didn't for this.

Eggnog.  I usually use milk, sometimes if I'm out of milk, I've used water or sour cream or cool whip or vanilla ice cream...Ive even mixed up powdered coffee creamer into some hot water and used that but this time of course, I used straight up eggnog. 
– I pour and mix, and pour and mix until its about the thickness of waffle batter. 

I usually add about half a cap of vanilla extract but I didn't this time because of the nog. 

–Mix until mixed.

Makes about 4 waffles.  FYI: As I mentioned before I have a proper, thin waffle maker. Not a stupid thick belgian waffle maker. Amount of waffles may vary. 

TIP: I've seen people suggest having the oven on low, and put them in the oven as you're making them so they aren't soggy when
you're done with the batch.  I don't do this because if I dont eat them one at a time while I'm cooking them, I'll just throw them in a freezer bag for later.   Just pop them in the toaster like Eggos.  But home-made fucking rad Eggos. 

 Ok nerds, that's it.  Nog and Waffle and waffle and nog until your colon falls out!  Marry Chrustmus.