A Poignant PYMHM RE: The Shallow Entertainment Industry

All of the press about Harvey Weinstein lately and the #MeToo social media campaign got me thinking of a post I did 10 years ago that highlights some of this same attitude that was, had been for a long time, and still is prevalent in not only the entertainment business but all aspects of society.  I wrote about a friend who had just gotten a blast of ugly reality from a supposed music industry big-wig.  So here's this Post You Might Have Missed from the early days of the Kirknoggins way back in  2007. 

 I mention my now defunct but still existing Music Industry rant blog called BOYCOTT THE MUSIC INDUSTRY.  I was still pretty bitter about my then band Fingertight's short-lived success and all the crap I saw first hand when being on the inside of the machine. There's still some good stuff there if you feel like checking it out. 

"you must be EXTREMELY attractive" 

Originally published: Jul 11, 2007

One of the ugliest men in show business sang the lyrics "What would you do if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?" Back then? Maybe.  People had a much higher standard of music. Now days it wouldn't matter because to have a popular song, he'd already be good enough looking and have such rad dance moves that his lyrics and voice wouldn't matter. On top of that he'd be lip syncing or singing under prerecorded backing vocal tracks.

My point is, today, vocal, instrumental and lyrical talent doesn't matter. Is all about the image. The pre-packaged product.

The reason I bring this up is because a friend of mine was looking to start an all-female rock band and posted an ad online. In my Boycott The Music Industry blog I posted one of the responses from a guy from an "Established L.A. based entertainment company" . It encapsulates one of the things that are very wrong with music industry today.

After he name drops a handfull of major networks, film companies and magazines, (of course no record companies. After all this was an ad for a musical group right?) He then proceeds to ooze slime with every keystroke. Here are some excerpts;

• "The only pre-requisite is that you must be EXTREMELY attractive, a beautiful face and Magnificent body, as this is the current wave in all areas of the entertainment industry." He carefully follows this statement with assurance to her that this isn't for any X-rated or Adult work. Also note that none of the 'pre-requisites' are musical ability.
• "If you are a female actress, model, vocalist, musician, or dancer, and you feel you meet our pre-requisite and standards, and you are interested, please e-mail Photos (at least one head shot and one body shot, although a few of each would be preferred)" Is there a casting couch involved?
• the fact is that business is business, and there is a reason why there are no new Aretha Franklins and Mellissa Ethridges bursting on to the scene. Even people that talented would not get record deals today, but there are many young ladies with a fraction of Aretha's voice, signing multi-million dollar deals, because of their face and body. And because you're a fucking douche bag perpetuating this kind of attitude in the music industry.
• I cannot change society, or what the masses at large want, the reason labels look for beauty, is because it sells, and it sells because that is what people want.

Who else wants to punch this guy in the throat? What is the most fucked up is that he's right. This is the sad state of the music industry. It may not 100% reflect what the masses want tho. But even if that is what the masses want... the masses are stupid by design. They've been conditioned. if you don't give them a choice of real talent they will pick the good looking hack.

Look back to the 70's ... Real song writers with great songs making hits that become classics. Many of them were UGLY by today's standards! But it didn't matter. it was good music by talented people.

The industry is insulting us by giving us vacuous celebrity with nothing to offer but eye candy thinking thats all we will accept. There's room for heart throbs but don't confuse pretty faces with talented artists.

Douche bags like this need to be stabbed in the crotch by robot scorpions.

Check out the full E-Mail here.  

Red Velvet Cake is a Fucking Lie

I went most of my life without ever trying Red Velvet cake. It just wasn't a thing that existed in my life.  Maybe it's because of I grew up in Northern California and Red Velvet was more of a Southern U.S. thing.   Maybe because I was raised by forward-thinking parents and had intelligent friends.  Who knows? I'd never even heard of it before seeing the famous armadillo cake in Steel Magnolias.  Then some time in my 30's, out in the wilds of the world it was at some party I was at and I tried it. 

But one told me what it was supposed to taste like. 

Anyone who knows me well knows I have set up some seemingly arbitrary food rules for what I will eat. Such as:  If it smells like vinegar, don't eat it. If it's a creamy dairy food that isn't ice cream or whipped cream, stay away. Pickles are not supposed to be sweet.  For savory food I usually avoid red colored foods because they are basically ketchup or ketchup based.  It's a whole different ball-game for dessert foods. Most people will probably agree with me on this one... red dessert foods will taste like cherry, raspberry or strawberry.  That's pretty standard and has never steered me wrong other than with this stupid cake. 

When I ate Red Velvet cake for the first time, obviously I was expecting a rich, sweet, acidic berry flavor, which of course never came. I thought someone fucked up when they made it. Then it was explained to me that it wasn’t supposed to be fruit flavored.  What the fuck is it then?    I asked what flavor it was supposed to be because it just tasted like regular-ass cake to me.  No one could really tell me what flavor it was. Some said they thought it was chocolate but that's just stupid.  I know what chocolate cake tastes like, this was not that.  So it would seem that it’s just red for no fucking reason and has cream cheese frosting. What’s the big fucking deal? 

I did some digging on the internets and found that it dates back to the 1800's and was originally just a softer  more "velvet" texture cake because of the ingredients they used.   It didn't turn red until 1930's when congress was lobbied hard to pass a law that lowered regulations for food coloring.  And some dick-head food dye tycoon in Texas popularized it as a red cake just to sell more food dye. So it's red because of capitalism.   If some hipster tells you it's red because in the depression they didn't have many ingredients and had to use beets  to sweeten the cake batter they're full of shit. It was because some fuck-stick wanted to make more money.

It got popular again because of that shitty movie Steel Magnolias (Julia Roberts' character dies.  No Spoiler Alert that movie can eat shit)  for some reason now it's trendy-as-fuck.  They're making cupcakes, pop-tarts and god damn Oreos now.  Just add red dye to the normal shit and we can sell more units... Genius!!!  

Also I'm not alone.  The Joy of Cooking and James Beard think it sucks too.  

You don't like Red Velvet cake. You just like cake and you're supporting a dessert based on corruption and greed.  Be ashamed. 

The Fisherman

Just about everyone has a ghost story. People like to tell them this time of year.  Either a friend or family member has a good story or you yourself saw something you cant explain.  Mine is less scary, and more of a "Well, I don't know, but I know I saw it" kind if story.  Whatever you believe spiritually, seeing something is undeniable if you saw it with your own eyes.  I call this, The Fisherman. 

My street  © Google Maps

This happened when I was around 3 years old. My parents still live in the same house I lived in back then. Not a scary old victorian or out in the middle of a field or deep in the woods. Just a regular 1950's two-bedroom, one-bath tract house in a neighborhood of similar houses. I'd heard stories that in the 1900's this was all farmland and the main farm house was on the hill west of our street. An old man that lived across the street when I was a kid told stories of when he was a kid. How he had to bring his family sow across the field that was now our street, straight through what is now our yards, to get 'serviced' by the farmers' bull. 

This house has a small laundry room right off the kitchen. Through the doorway from the kitchen you can see the dryer and part of the washer to the right of it. Beyond that, out of view from the kitchen is a back door that leads to a small wooden porch and the driveway. The door has a window and back then probably had a curtain of some kind. It was after sunset and probably dark outside.  I was standing next to the dryer, facing the back door when I saw something. I turned to my parents who were sitting at the table at the other end of the kitchen and said "Mommy, who's this nice man" My parents freaked. Naturally. They got up and ran towards me, fearing there was a stranger in the house. When they got to me, there was no one there. 

artist rendition.

What I saw was an adult sized man. And the best way for me as a 3 year old to describe it was that it was a fisherman. The classic Gorton's Fish Sticks fisherman. Rain slicker, big floppy hat, beard, etc. But what was unusual, other than there being a random fisherman in the laundry room, was that he was made of pure blue glowing translucent light. And why I said "who is this nice man" was because he seemed to just give off good vibes. Pure niceness. So, even as a small child seeing a stranger, I didn't feel scared of threatened in any way. My parents were creeped the fuck out though. Later my mom told me I drew him with crayons. Blue crayon. I wish I had it still.

So, not scary. Weird, definitely unexplainable. Over the years I've tried to make some sense of it.  The fact that my hometown was on a bay and had a thriving fishing industry but our house was so far from the water.  Like I said it was in a grazing field. For all I know, clothes that looks like a robe, hat that looks like a hood, beard, good vibes, it could have been God or something.  I don't believe in that shit so I dunno.  Maybe I ate too many fish sticks that night.

Some strange stuff did happen later in that house that may or may not be related. A guitar playing by itself. My aunt's friend being touched on her shoulder, my mom and aunt being prevented from watching Gorillas in the Myst on VHS. One drunken Saturday night my mom was up by herself and maybe something happened but she started yelling at "the fisherman" and told him to move on. Drunken Exorcist could be a great new reality show idea. Nothing else happened after that. For all I know the alcohol and 80's party drugs my parents' friends were into back then may have had something to do with all of the activity they experienced.  I never witnessed any of it. The paranormal activity I mean... I witnessed way too much of the partying as a youth that I needed to.

If you have a ghost story leave it in the comments. 

Happy Halloween!