Oct 15, 2015

Haliwax for Halloween

I was looking for a new font to use as a system font on my phone and started with some of the fonts I made myself.. As it turns out my font Haliwax gives my phone the perfect creepy Halloween vibe.

Download Haliwax at

Im not sure this will work for all phones or iphones. I have a Samsung Galaxy Note 4.
I use an app called ifont to change fonts. 

Sep 26, 2015

Dog Park 101

file footage from a few months ago. 
I'm at the dog park tonight with Bruce and there's only a few other dogs there.  Then this old lady comes into the big dog area with a tiny little Yorkie or something.  First I'm worried that her dog is going to get eaten by Bruce or another dog... but then this lady sits down on a bench in the dog park and pulls out a cheeseburger.  Dog Park 101 lady, don't bring food into the park. Unless you want to get tackled for your burger. The whole time I'm being extra cautious of Bruce to make sure he doesn't go near where she is, because he'll snatch that shit up in a second.  I once saw a woman bring a burrito into a dog park we used to go to back home.  She was overwhelmed with 10 hungry/curious dogs and almost got knocked over. She kept backing away not grasping the reality of the situation.  People started yelling "NO FOOD IN THE PARK.. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BURRITO!!!"  She's lucky she didn't get hurt as well.  Fucking idiots. Dogs are unpredictable animals.  Especially ones you don't know. On this same note, don't bring your baby or small child to the dog park.

Bruce squats near the edge of the fence by the water faucet but doesn't really poop anything out worthy of picking up. I couldn't even see it. It soaked into the loose straw they put out to absorb the mud around the water bowls.  I let him run around a minute or two more and he acts like he wants to go.

The lady is on the bench next to the gate to the park and as I get close to her she pipes up and says "you know your dog pooped in the straw but you didn't pick it up"   WTF? I'm thinking to myself. This fucking bitch is going to try to school me on Dog Park Etiquette while she eats a juicy cheeseburger around a bunch of strange dogs?  OH HELL NO!  I told her it was a false poop and nothing came out to pick up... she kept trying to dog-par-guilt me into going back but Bruce had his leash on and was ready.  Fuck that bitch. She's lucky there wasn't a bigger dog with less self control and a less observant owner.  I wanted to call her out on the burger but we gotta pick our battles. Why are people so shitty?

Sep 22, 2015

The Best Cup of Coffee I've Ever Had.

The store where I work, Pierson's Building Center has a small cafe/bakery annex located inside the main store. It's one of I think five Ramone's Bakery and Cafe locations in the area. A couple things to note:  Piersons provides free coffee to it's customers and employees. The other thing to remember is that I am an employee of Piersons.  Just to be clear, this isn't Premium Ramones Cafe coffee they're giving away. It's whatever is good-enough-to-drink yet, give-away-free kind of coffee.  This is what I usually drink because I'm a cheapskate and it gets me through the day.  Now onto my story about the most perfect cup of coffee I've ever had. 

It was fall 2002 if my memory serves me. My band was on tour on the East Coast. We had just played the previous night in Atlantic City making our way back to Worcester Massachusetts.  It was an overcast morning traveling on the New Jersey Turnpike.  
example of a toll road service plaza oasis. 

Now, what most people living on the West Coast dont know is that all over New England are toll roads. And being that every time you exit you have to pay a toll, they've set up these convenient highway oases (oasises?) that you can enter from either direction without paying to exit the road. These usually consist of a large gas station, one for each direction of traffic exiting and a bunch of fast food and mini-marts all under one roof. KInd of like if a truck stop and a shopping mall food court had a baby.   Since it was morning we went for the Burger King but to our disappointment this wasnt an actual Burger King. It was a truck stop express BK with premade food under a lamp with no employees. Being that it was nearly 11:30am. There were only a couple stale breakfast sandwiches left.  So we turned around and saw a Dunkin Donuts.  Being from the San Francisco bay area, we'd never really experienced Dunkin Donuts or knew what it had to offer. I ordered a maple old fashioned donut and some kind of breakfast sandwich I think... and a coffee.   The nice lady working there asked if I wanted cream and sugar.  I said yes expecting to get a couple packets of sugar and maybe a powdered creamer packet, but to my surprise she just handed me a lidded to-go cup of coffee.  I asked about the accoutrements and she just nodded and said "its in there"  In my head I was like "WHAaaaaatt?!!!!!!!!!!!"  How do they know how I like it?  I'm very particular about my cream and sugar levels... she never asked me.  I was VERY sceptical. Then... I took a sip.  Temperature, perfect.  Coffee flavor, perfect. Cream level, perfect.  Sugar level, PERFECT.  OH MY GOD. I couldn't believe it how did she do this?   I made sure to tell the woman how perfect it was. I was very excited and probably freaked her out a little. People can be a little more surly in the Garden State. I will never forget that cup of coffee.  I've had coffee from Dunkin Donuts since but it was never as serendipitous as the Turnpike Dunkins.   A few years ago they started selling the coffee beans at the grocery store and everyone was hyping how good it was.  It wasn't that good. 

Which leads me to the Ramones in Piersons Building Center.   I've on occasion purchased a latte or mocha but in the nearly 3 years working there I've never purchased a regular coffee from Ramones. That is, until yesterday.  It was medium roast.  I added my own cream & sugar but damned if it didn't take me back to that foggy morning on the turnpike.  

Kudo's Ramones. This is the second best. maybe third.. no I'll have to say definitely in the top 5 cups of coffee I've ever had.

Sep 13, 2015

I think I just saw an Alien

I think I just saw an alien.  Not a UFO or a slimy mutant.  But the kind of alien, like the aliens in disguise like in the Men In Black movies.  They look just like humans but do weird shit that humans don't usually do. 
There was some commotion, a sound of crinkling plastic wrappers and sort of grunting coming from the back of the gas station mini mart while I was picking out something to drink.  Then a guy emerged from the scuffle. He was old, smallish build, kinda unkempt, needed a shave.  His messy salty hair covered his face but revealing thick rimmed glasses like you get at Walgreens.
Nothing that outright screamed alien, except he was carrying a stack, two hands holding probably every prepackaged microwave hamburger in the food cooler.  Which is weird but not alien status.  What made me certain that he was not from this world was when he started microwaving them all in the store. 
Who the fuck eats 8 gas station hamburgers at once... Inside the gas station?
That dude was a fucking alien. 

Sep 6, 2015

Fountain Coke?

Am I wrong here? It irritates me when places don't have a soda fountain for soft drinks but have soda in cans.  If they're up front about it I can make my decision to get iced tea because I'm going to want the free refills.  And don't get me started on places with no refills. 

So when I'm looking directly at a soda fountain, studying the selections when I ask for Coke and you bring me a can with a glass of ice and you never thought to mention this when I was ordering am I allowed to be pissed?

I would have fucking ordered tea.

Jul 22, 2015

Hey You Kids, Get Off My Lawn!!!

I literally had the opportunity to be that guy but resisted in the sake of being cool.  I come outside to drive to the store and there's a small group, maybe three or four young people.  Nice enough little girls, probably 12 or so laying down in the corner of our grass in the miniscule shade from our tree, sipping on Frappuccinos or something and giggling while they look at their iphones.   Apparently that's what kids do these days.  I decided to be cool and not yell at them. I just nodded to make my presence known and let them continue to be dumb kids.

When I get back the kids are gone, but they left a pile of trash behind.  As I park I see Frappuccino cups blowing around my yard and the sidewalk. Sticky green Starbucks straws rolling up my driveway and stuck in the blades of dried, drought stricken lawn. Even the cardboard drink carrier upside down at the epicenter of the debris.   I also would like to point out that today was garbage pickup day and no more than 5 feet from where they were casually trespassing was a line of empty trash cans they could have disposed of their waste.

What the fuck is wrong with stupid ass fucking kids?  Does this make me the grumpy old man on the street?  I mean, I tried to be cool and not shoo them away and this is the respect I get in return? I get a "fuck you and your free shade" from some ungrateful, rude, piece of shit mini-humans?  I wish I could follow them home and let their piece of shit parents know what the fuck is up.

God damn this generation of fuck-offs that we have to depend on for the future.  THIS... THIS is why the old grumpy guy tells you to get off his lawn. Because you have no respect for anyone else's property other than your own... and since you probably will never work or earn anything that is truly yours, you'll just be a shit head with shitty things fucking off and not giving a shit for the rest of your life.

I hope they all die in a school bus fire. That might have been a little too harsh.... but was it? Fuck those fucking kids.

Jun 29, 2015

Whyward Pines?

The more I watch Wayward Pines I'm starting to feel like everything they say actually is true. Just like they said it would be.  The idea that it's the "anti-Lost" and that they do give answers is initially refreshing and welcome but there's part of me that wants more mystery. Lost was nothing but mystery and it had us hooked. I guess there's some comfort knowing they aren't going to string us along and leave us high and dry like Lost did. 

After the last couple episodes of Wayward Pines I feel like the mystery is over. Up until now it was fun theorizing about where they were, why there was time differences, what the creatures are and so on.  But now, as promised they've given answers.  I feel like I've figured it all out  already. It all makes total sense. Everything adds up. Everything I was trying to figure out in my head has been satisfyingly answered for me.  Unfortunately I feel like now the rest of the show will just be all character driven drama which really isn't enough to keep my interest. I hope in the next couple episodes they throw some curveballs or I might stop watching. 
Lost held my attention because it was a (literally) never ending mystery. Trying to guess the answers to all the crazy unknowns was why I kept watching. I feel like that all just went out the window with Wayward Pines.  I hope that since M. Knight is involved we'll get a nice treat at the end. 

Jun 18, 2015

Almost Everything's New at Burger King

Remember the Burger King I posted about a while back that was still sucking while they were getting all the business while  the McDonalds next door was closed while it was getting remodeled? Well I guess they decided that it wasn't the shitty customer service that was taking away business. They decided to hop on the bandwagon and do a facelift as well. But I think they also kept the inept managers and hired a bunch of new pimply faced tweenysomethings that don't know shit.  It seems like every single employee's first day on the job at this Burger King right now. It's a complete clusterfuck.  They accidently gave my order to the guy before me and the lady had to run out to his car to give him the right one. Then they completely forget and skip my number. Finally the manager comes by and says "who's burger is this?"  it ended up being mine. They gave me extra onion rings to smooth it out.

Also, they have one of those new menus that's several big flat-screen monitors. One of them looks like Barry Bonds fouled one off on it. It's been like that for a while. But even after a recent full indoor and outdoor corporate remodel of the place, the menu screen is still broken. Priorities I guess. It's like the Applebee's here that got all new signs but they didn't repaint over where the old bigger signs were.

I cant say for sure or not but I can't blame the major food conglomerates for fucking up details like that. I think it's either lack of communication from the local franchise or that the morons that run the place don't notice or care.

You never see McDonalds or Taco Bell fucking shit up. And the Wendy's here nailed it. Their new restaurant is perfect.

May 26, 2015

We Watched Interstellar....

We watched Interstellar last night.  I couldn't help but say things like "Alright Alright Alright, we're gonna take this spaceship to another planet..."  In my best Matthew Mcconaughey voice as I was putting the DVD in.

I thought it was good.  I'm not a scientist so I couldn't say whether the science was bad or not but most of it pretty much made sense to me the way it was presented except for a couple little things.


When they realized that because of the time difference that the doctor on the water planet had probably just crashed when they got there I thought that they should have been something they took into account before they wasted the fuel/time to go there. also, why were a handful of planets next to a black hole ever even considered viable homeworlds?

And when you come in for a landing and crash into ice clouds and see nothing but tundra I figure it's a safe bet to count your losses and head for the other planet.  Sorry crazy Matt Damon. Also, you think there would be the technology to communicate somehow with the base camp before they land. Initiate the deep sleep wake up  routine remotely, then have open comms with the doctor and even be able to upload research data.  without even landing. Or even leaving orbit.  They're sending video messages through a fucking wormhole from earth still but they have to land in an unknown environment and physically find the doctors?  They should have set up an unmanned orbiter that they could have been beamind the research data to in real time. Then beam that out so it can be received as soon as they come through the wormhole
.  Seems like the data they DID get was minimal and useless if they actually had to physically go there just to see what's up.  

Also... wheat died out but they're kicking back drinking beers. There's a plague but trees line main st. It didn't seem that dire.

Also, while he's sending the data on interdimensional gravity manipulation via dots and dashes, which, and again, I'm no physicist,  would probably fill 5000 notebooks and take a a million hours to transcribe he could have included "Hey Murph, this is your dad.." somewhere in there.

Basically, Plan B works, she goes to the other planet, sets up a baby factory and the human race flourishes on the new planet who I assume studied the black hole that is nearby for many years and figure out how to manipulate gravity and created the wormhole... which made their own existence possible in the first place? I think I just found a time travel paradox...DAMNIT!  I know it's not real time travel but it kind of is since he's communicating with his daughter in the past. Time travel never works!

But otherwise I thought it was entertaining.

May 13, 2015

Dont Sample the Whistle Key Chains

Retail Adventures

As I come around to the main aisle following a trail of spilled coffee and I see a middle aged Latino or Native American man of short stature at the reading glasses display. I'd noticed him before wandering around other parts of the store, not really looking like he was shopping for anything in particular.  Along with his height I notice his hair is messy, his basketball shorts and wifebeater tank top are ripped and dirty. He's also wearing a bomber jacket that looks like it's been crumpled up on the floorboard of a car for a week.  Usually when someone like this, unkempt, shifty, aimless, is in the store they get a second glance. It's probably profiling but usually hunches turn out to be right and they end up stealing something.  Having free coffee tends to attract more of these people than we'd like, but it's a nice thing to offer our customers. 

He's got on a pair of reading glasses and on his tippy-toes trying to stand high enough to see himself in the little mirrors provided by the store for customers to see how different glasses look.  They are set about chest high on an average height person, and they are adjustable but he insisted on balancing on his toes to see his reflection while holding a dixie cup of coffee, spilling most of it out on the floor in front of him, and all over himself.  He notices me and looks up with a wide, stupid, toothless grin and giant bug-eyes from the magnifying reading lenses and says "Hawdo I look?!" I paused for a second to think to myself 'like a scumbag moron' and said outloud in my friendly customer service voice "makes you look smarter"  because that's what people say when you try on glasses right?

I left him to his spectacle shopping and walked away but kept an eye on him as he continued through the store.  He still had the glasses in his hand but his other hand was hidden by his jacket sleeve and it looked like he was trying to conceal something in his shorts. His right hand was under his shirt as he walked around.  It was time for my lunch break so as I left, I asked another employee, we'll  call him Jason, who has sort of become our unofficial, self appointed theft prevention officer.  It's not his job, and isn't qualified for it and it takes away from his normal responsibilities so I probably shouldn't encourage him but he's into it. 

When I return from lunch I ask about the suspicious individual.  "So did he end up stealing anything"  Jason says something like "not that he saw but went on to tell me what happened"   Or unofficial security officer isn't very subtle when it comes to tracking potential shoplifters and many times they get the hint they are being watched and either just leave or confront the accusation.  This time the guy got a little antsy and said something like "hey man I ain't takin nothin, why you watchin me"  and at that point Jason mentions how he's been hiding something under his shirt.   The man then explains that he has a zit on his ass that he's been trying to pop. Jason was speechless.  This guy may or may not have been stealing but at that point he didn't care. He told him to go wash his hands.  He follows him to the bathroom and waits for him to exit.   The individual is taking his time, definitely more time that it takes to wash your hands.  Jason goes in to check on him and see's what can not be unseen.  The guy has his basketball shorts halfway down his legs, bent and twisted over in front of the mirror trying to pop the pimple on his butt with both hands.

"Oh come on man!"  Jason exclaimed and then tells him to pull up his pants and get out of the store.

The rest of the day all the employees are recalling him from earlier and taking mental notes of all the things he touched in the store with his dirty butt zitt hands.  As a general rule I do not recommend testing out the whistle key chains. Ever. I once saw an old homeless woman pick up one of every color and blow into them one at a time.  Add reading glasses and several other things to that list.