Apr 8, 2020

In-N-Out Fantasy Menu PYMHM

Since my secluded little city, Eureka California is about to have it's very own In N Out Burger and because of this current health pandemic we're in,  it's going to open without the full fanfare it deserves.  In honor of this event, I thought I'd bring back this classic  Post You Might Have Missed.   

TFW a customer orders off the secret menu.
A while back I ran into an old friend who happened to be a manager at an In N Out.  The subject of the secret menu came up and he confirmed everything I could find and more.  He pretty much shot down more obscure items I'd seen on the internet like The Monkey Style and the Inside Out but what was the most intriguing for me was the stuff the employees make for themselves that aren't on the regular menu or the secret menu. So that got me thinking of other shit you could make, not necessarily order, with the limited ingredients available
to you in a standard In N Out kitchen.   Ground beef, potato, lettuce, onion, tomato, In N Out Spread, condiments, pickles, cheese, buns French Fries etc. They also have hot peppers by request. Don't forget the milkshakes!


So without further ado, I give you the In and Out Fantasy Menu. Things you technically can make but can't and probably should never order.

"Monkey Style" 
Any burger with fries in it.
I know this was on there before but since its been denied, we'll put it in here.  I had heard this was actually on the Secret Menu but it has been confirmed to not be.

"Inside Out" 
This is any burger with the bun flipped around and grilled. to look and feel like sourdough. I'd heard this being able to order too. Sometimes called the "Grilled Sourdough" but it's not real. 

And now for the items my friend Jimbo and I came up with along with giving clever names to the stuff my friend from In N Out told me about.
(some of this might be NSFW)   

"Dirty Sanchez" K

2  x 4 with peppers and extra grilled onions on a burger with no lettuce.

"Hash Browns" K

Fries smashed on the grill and then fried in the fryer.

"Brunch” K
Add Hash Browns to any burger. Add extra cheese. 

"Onion Rings" K

Deep fried onions instead of grilled

"Rodeo Style" K

Add Onion Rings to any burger

"Mustard Style" K
Mustard cooked burger with extra pickles and mustard and extra lettuce.

“Hot Carl" K

Mustard Style with peppers. No lettuce.

“Grandma's Meatloaf" K

Ketchup soaked cooked patty with ketchup and grilled onions"

"Road Kill"  K and In N Out guy.
Animal Fries, with chopped patty, covered in ketchup.

"Leather Style" J

Well done burger (possibly even burnt) and extra toasted bun. Dry, no condiments or toppings.

"Leatherface”  J, K
Leather Style with extra ketchup and cheese. (served with a knife)

"Spuds Mackenzie" K

Grilled Cheese with Fries cooked in.

"Sloppy Joe" K, In N Out Guy

Chopped up meat, grilled onions and In N Out Spread.

"DIY style” J

Everything on the side. Can be ordered with any burger

"The Twins" J

A Double Double Split open and open faced.  One patty and cheese on each half of the bun


“Big Fish Eats Little Fish” J

Double Double with a regular cheese burger in between the Meat of the double double

“The Tim Taylor" K

4 open packets of artificial sweetener served with a plastic knife and a straw.

“Heart Attack Special" K

5 x 10, or 5 patties 10 cheese, 2 for each patty. Raw onions. Substitute mayo.

“Guerra Del  Coraz√≥n Especial” K

Heart Attack Special with hot peppers and grilled onions. 

4 x 4 Animal Style with peppers, fries and no lettuce.

“Cheese Volcano Burger" J
A Double Double with 3 cheese slices melted on the top of the bun.

"The Present” J
Well Done Fries wrapped in a lettuce leaf with a tomato on top.

“Sticks in The Mud"  J

Fries with Chocolate shake on top (Dine-In Only)

“Atkins Sucks! Style" J
2 sets of (4) buns on any burger.

"The Poop Fry" In N Out Guy

Chopped up patty, chopped tomatoes,  cheese, peppers and grilled onion on fries.  (He said they actually make this for themselves)

"Sourdough Bacon Swiss"  K

Inside Out toasted buns with one mustard soaked patty cooked extra well done, second patty med well. with mayonnaise, tomato and grilled onions.

"Hemorrhoids" K

Deep fried burger chunks with ketchup.

"Lincoln Logs"  J

4 x 4 with fries between each layer

"Log Cabin”  K

A small structure of carefully stacked alternating Fries with a single burger cut into 4 pieces inside.

“Zombie Fingers" K

French fries dipped in ketchup then deep fried.

“Twigs & Berries" K

Burnt patty chopped up with fries and grilled onions

"Swamp Style" J
2- Cheese Burgers stuffed into a medium drink cup filled with Coca-Cola.

"Monte Cristo" K

A Double Double with grilled onions. The whole thing gets deep fried and sprinkled with a sugar packet and drizzled with strawberry shake mix. 

“Beef and Chips” J

Hamburger patty cut in to strips served over Well Done Fries.

"fish n chips” J,K

Beef and Chips, mayo mixed with chopped up pickles on the beef and extra salt on the fries.

“Turds" K

Strips of med well patty deep fried and served with a selection of condiments on the side for dipping.

“Golden Nuggets" K

A variation of Turds. Strips of burger coated heavily with mustard and deep fried. Served with mustard.

“Dead Man's Bed" J

10 x10 (10 patties, 10 cheese)  served on a bed of Animal Style Fries.

“Ronald Style" K

One patty, med. Cheese, ketchup, mustard, pickle and chopped raw onion.
Smashed flat after its made. 

“The Big Mick" K

3 buns (one in the middle) 2 patties, 2 cheese with In N Out Spread and mayo, chopped onions, pickles and chopped lettuce. Served inside two French Fry boats. 

"Fried Ice Cream" K

Scoop of Vanilla Milk Shake poured into a bed of toasted bun crumbs, rolled and flash deep fried. Served in a Small Drink Cup. topped with chocolate milk shake flavoring.

“Chocolate Cow-Tail" In N Out Guy

Chocolate Shake and Coke (He’s tried is and says its pretty good)

“Wendy’s Pigtails” K

Any shake with french fries in it.

"Pina Colada" K

Root Beer, Dr. Pepper, and Orange soda with Vanilla Shake and 10 sweet & low packets.

This is where the original list ended but with the help of fellow bloggers and friends we came up with a ridiculous amount of stupid menu items.  It got so crazy I created a separate blog for all of our ideas and related articles we would come across.  This blog has been dormant for almost a decade so it might be a little rough around the edges but if you want to dive deeper into this ludicrous above-ground swimming pool that is this topic, click the link to check out The In-N-Out Fantasy Menu Blog.  Shortly after I published this MAXIM Magazine did a piece on the Secret Menu and mistakenly suggested a few of the fake Fantasy Menu items from my list.  The comments section on the online post was hilarious.  There were quite a few comments that went something like "I tried to order (insert stupidly fake name) and they said I couldnt order it, what the hell Maxim!?"  I had a considerable surge in traffic that week on a blog that was created mainly just for me and a few funny people who were bored.

Thanks for reading, and don't try to order these.  I hope this pandemic dies down so we can all properly enjoy our new In N Out when it eventually opens.

Stay safe, stay home, wash your hands.  We can get through this if we just stop being stupid and selfish.  Thank you too all the essential workers out there keeping things running while everyone stays home and complains about spending time with their kids.


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