Jul 31, 2013

Armchair Lawyers and TV Truth-Jockeys

It seems like every month there's a new "trial of the century" that we cant avoid.  It's actually creating a market for 24 hour courtroom TV channels.  I saw this promo for Nancy Grace for HLN the other day and it struck a nerve.  

      She says:

"I want to investigate the case, I want to know the truth"   
"It's my duty to ...bring that child home, to solve the homicide, to solve the mystery" 
"I get to make a difference" 

Shut the fuck up you piece of shit.   It's not your job to investigate cases. It's not your duty to bring children home or solve homicides or mysteries. What you do doesn't  matter to the actual case AT ALL!  There are real people, with real jobs in law enforcement and the legal field who's job that is.  She is making a difference tho, by tainting the jury pool with speculation and facts of a case that may not even be admissible by the judge as evidence. You are actually making their job HARDER you fucking asshole. 

Here's the problem with this bitch, and "courtroom" type news channels; It gets the public so riled up about a case by sensationalizing it to the point where the defendant is not only guilty before proven innocent, but a monster.  Then when the prosecution fails to convict, there's outrage and riots in the streets. 

I think this type of entertainment-news should be illegal.  If our legal system wasn't bad enough! This type of shit is turning every idiot with a remote control in their hand into arm-chair lawyers.  I live with a REAL lawyer and kids, the legal system isn't as flashy as they make it out to be. And sometimes, the bad guys get away with it.  Because sometimes, the police, or prosecution are liars, cheaters, have huge egos or just generally suck at their job.  And when that happens, we all lose. So who's really the bad guy... someone who gets arrested for having weed in their car and a broken tail light, or the police officer that searched the car illegally?  Who cares if government employees violate people's civil rights, as long as a bad guy went to jail right?  This system is in place to protect the innocent, and one day you might be arrested for something you didn't do or illegally searched.  But according to Nancy Grace, because you got arrested, you're the "bad guy" even after the jury says your not guilty. Guess who will be there to say "I told you so"  after a crooked cop lies on the stand or a backward judge denies evidence that proves you're innocent and you get wrongly convicted? Yup, the TV truth-jockeys and their 24-7 broadcast cycle. 

Jul 30, 2013

Strip Clubs Are Kind of Gay. PYMHM

I've posted a lot of stuff since I started this blog back in 2005, and some of it you might have missed. Another thing about these posts, is that I might not have always used capital letters or sentences that make sense. I still might not but I thought I'd dig through the archives and bring some back in a blogseries I'm going to call PYMHM. Posts you might have missed. This one is from 2007. Edited slightly for grammar and continuity. 

I saw link for an article a long time ago about how Hi Def was becoming detrimental to the porn industry.
“The biggest problem is razor burn,” -Stormy Daniels, Porn Star.

It makes sense. Those chicks aren't perfect. If they were they wouldn't be doing porn right? That got me thinking about a strip club I went to a long time ago. This place had a gross drug addict stripper. She was old and had bruises and band aids all over her legs. She was dancing  to "Private Dancer" by Tina Turner. It was more like moving in a drugged out daze than actual dancing. I cant ever hear a Tina Turner song now without thinking of that. The setting was pretty intimate so she could totally see us if we left.  To be nice, we waited till she was done to leave. 

You'd think something like that would probably turn me off strip clubs for life but, in all honesty, strip clubs in general turned me off of strip clubs for life. For those of you who don't know, I was in a band on tour around the country for several years with horny young dudes who saw this experience an opportunity to slay some major vag, and look at as many boobies as they could. In my tenure with that band, we found ourselves often at strip clubs.  But as I will explain below, despite how masculine and manly looking at boobs and twat seems or whatever kind of, ego boost it gives men to pay women to act like they like them.  To me, it seems kind of the opposite. I will explain. 

evolvedworld.com  Top 5 Reasons Men Go to a Strip Club
they dont mention that it's getting boners with dudes around.
 I like naked boobies as much as anyone but strip clubs are essentially a bunch of men getting horny together. Getting a boner with your friends around was barely acceptable when you and your friend first discovered his parents porn collection and defiantly not OK for grown men. Unless you're Jon Bon Jovi (or in a really small podunk town) your'e more than likely not going to get to have sex with them even if you wanted to. You're just going to leave there broke and horny. I don't want to pay someone money to give myself blue balls. After paying a cover to get in I really hated throwing more money at a naked chick. (tipping bla bla bla) on top of the money issue, (Pro Advice: Dont ever use an ATM at a strip club)  Another thing for me is that I really don't like fake boobs with implant scars. I guess that is part of the deal though; when you make your living being naked, you gotta get the implants because the girls that are born perfect, their self esteem is way too high to strip and honestly I'd rather look at natural small ones. Even tho small ones don't make as much money, in my strip club experience (that is way more extensive than I'd like to admit) there's always a small tit chick, a black chick and a fat chick in the mix to satisfy the tastes of different clientele. In Hollywood its all mostly plastic whores and modeling carer drop-outs. 

Lap dances are awkward. That's when they start talking. It makes you feel kind of obligated to try to say something because a naked girl is grinding on you. So you ask questions about them and they start to tell you they have 2 kids or that they are working their way through college and their dad beat them. Any way they can to get that pity money. What they don't tell you is that their money goes towards crank.  Kid stories bring in more money than crank addiction. I'm generalizing and am sure offending someone in the exotic dancing community.  I'm sorry but generalizations are funnier for the story. Also, stereotypes had to start somewhere. 

So yea, I hate strip clubs. I haven't gone to one since I stopped touring with my band. I hated that I'd always get stuck going to them because we all shared a vehicle which we also lived in. And my opinion was the minority. Strip clubs in my opinion are the most latent homosexual thing a guy could do. Maybe not the most but there's a chronological order to things that aren't gay but come pretty close.

Somewhere below going to a strip club with your friends is watching porn with friends, below that I'd have to say having a threesome with another guy and a chick. I did it once, but we called it double-teaming. We never even saw each others dongs. Then somewhere down on the list is pissing next to a guy at a urinal when there's other open ones. If you look over, you're crossing over into possible gaydom.

I think i'll have to add Wrestling, body building and working out at the gym with other dudes in here too. Have you ever seen those work-out magazines? It's kind of soft-core gay porn.  One time I was flipping channels and there was an infomercial for a work-out video.  It was basically two guys lifting weights and if you closed your eyes it sounded like full-on gay porn. Not that I know what gay porn sounds like but I can imagine it sounds something like this did... "oh yea, hold it right there..." [heavy breathing] "oooh that feels good.. i can feel it in my butt" it was pretty funny. Jokes were made.
I wonder where writing a blog about how much you hate looking at naked women ranks on the latent homosexual list?

Hey Pot Cops, Meth and Heroin Are Worse.

I live in what's known as the "emerald triangle" in northern California.  In the city I live, meth and heroin are becoming a pretty huge problem, yet, the authorities here have a gigantic boner for busting pot grows. There's surely a problem with illegal weed production and especially in protected forests. But take a walk down 4th street in Eureka, or the Roach Motels along Broadway.  These people are not on weed.  Every other story in the local news is about a traffic stop that led to narcotics. Not weed.. meth and junk. But millions of dollars are being spent on busting farmers. There's even TV shows glorifying DEA and local drug task force units using helicopters and military grade gear to essentially find plants and cut them down. In counties where most of the big logging and fishing industries have all but dried up, they rely on tourism for revenue, but when the streets are littered with drugged out zombies, people aren't going to want to keep coming here. 

In a time in history when public opinion, not only locally but nationally is leaning towards legalization of marijuana, I think law enforcement efforts need to focus on the real drug problems that are becoming more and more prevalent in these scenic quaint communities.  In my personal opinon I think that they just go after the easy target. Pot farms are everywhere up here, and ripe for the picking, usually run by peaceful people trying to make a living, selling a harmless (compared to alcohol) drug to people. It gives these cop cowboys an excuse to play with their toys. To have a sense of accomplishment, and feel like rockstars. But really, not really helping the problem at large. The war on drugs, especially pot, is pretty pointless. And if we're being honest, a war on drugs, if it can be won at all is probably going to be won in South America, not in the farms of Humboldt.  As it stands, just like the Terrorists are winning the war on terror, Drugs are winning the war on drugs. Actually, who's really winning both wars is the companies selling all of the guns, riot gear, tanks, laser sights, bullets, missiles, fighter planes, etc. They're winning everything... and guess who's paying for it all?  Yup, you and me.

Jul 28, 2013

As Seen on TV

With all the press recently about Google's new Chromecast I was reminded of something similar that I saw at Target called Rabbit TV. Automatically when we see As Seen on TV on products we assume it's a scam so I did some (very little) digging. Just as I suspected the ads are somewhat misleading.  According to digitaltrends.com it's not  just $10. It's also $10 a year, and all it really does is take every available, free (and legal) streaming TV, movie and radio content from the internet and put it in an east to navigate menu. It isnt much of a complete replacement for actual cable/satellite TV, but if you have a fast internet connection and a new/fast computer and you arent really picky about new episodes or new releases, this could be for you. The article also warns about shady billing and possible invasive software installs. 

Here's a review of Rabbit TV. 

I still don't know much about google's #chromecast so I'll do my best to explain how it's different from RabbitTV. First of all, Chromecast uses HDMI which connects directly to your TV where Rabbit TV uses USB and connects to your computer, and seems like no more than a flash drive that installs the software on your computer. Chromecast from what I understand, uses wifi and pulls app content from your computer.or mobile device. so like if you have Netflix or Youtube on your phone, you can watch it on your big ass HDTV.  Not entirely sure how this is much different from having a SmartTV (Tv connected to the internet with apps) or Roku or a Smart Blu Ray player yet.  I'm assuming just like RabbitTV, you'd need a fast internet connection to really enjoy it.  At $35 and no monthly or annual fee or monthly fee, other than what you already pay for Netflix, Hulu etc, it sounds like a pretty rad little device.  Also they say it's sourcecode (API) is open to anyone so feasibly, every content provider could eventually be compatible with Chromecast.  I have 2 TV's one is a SmartTV and the one in the bedroom is only connected to my cable. I could get a Chromecast and have the same access to internet media for $35. Not a bad deal. 

Basically, RabbitTV is kind of a turd flash drive designed to sort-of rip off old people and stupid housewives. Chromecast is for people who understand web based entertainment media and want it on their TV.

Jul 26, 2013

Wendy, We Hardly Knew Ye

When I moved here 6 months ago there was a defunct Wendy's right as you drive into town. On it's sign marquee it said "Thanks Humboldt". It was kind of sad but not really being a huge Wendy's fan I didn't care much and was fairly confident that surely, as with most major fast food chains there would be another one somewhere near by. In all this time being here I never really gave Wendy's a second thought. Until a few days ago when I saw bulldozers tearing down the distinctly "wendy's" looking building. Now I guess you could say "yay for progress" but I kind of got nostalgic for those square patties.

Fast forward to today, when I see this post on VICE.

I'd seen the commercials, and it piqued my curiosity. And if I were back in the Bay Area that curiosity would sit and marinate until the serendipity of me being hungry and looking for a place to eat, and me passing by the next Wendy's restaurant at the same time occurred. ( the locations of which all seared into the fat kid centers of my memory like a flame broiled patty). But after reading this article, which is an awesomely horrible review of the sandwich, it brought that curiosity to the surface of my brain's taste desire region.
"Now that I’ve been sitting here with the burger for around ten minutes the stink of it is really beginning to change. It reminds me more of trash now, but maybe trash someone left out in a nice garden. There are little clumps of either the beef or the bacon in my teeth and gums that appear while I’m kind of sucking my mouth to feel the generally garbage-y feeling that begins to accompany the stink. "  -Vice.com
I know it's bad for me. I know it's awful and low quality.. but look at that bun? c'mon.  Subconsciously my brain started Googling itself for all known Wendy's locations in it's database.. and quickly striking them down based on my location.
5943 PACHECO BLVD PACHECO, CA 94553 (925) 686-2790  no!
Nope, you live 300 miles from those locations now. Damn! Then my brain naturally went to the only one I've seen since I've been here in Eureka but shit, not only was it closed.. it was being bulldozed to rubble as I sit there and drool over some stupid burger. So I quickly search the real internet for the nearest Wendy's location.  There's gotta be one somewhere in the surrounding metropolises of Humboldt County... Fortuna, McKinleyville... they have to have a Wendy's right?


100 fucking miles away? Well there goes that dream....crushed in a pile of concrete and steel, just like the only Wendy's within 100 miles of me.

Best drive-by photo I could get.  

And before you say "why you goin to crappy fast food anyway, there's way better burger places"  There is. Actually there's some REALLY good burger places up here.. but.. they are not Wendy's and they are not the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger. This whole incident, as trivial as it is, really made me realize the things I took for granted when I lived in the "big city". After all, modern convenience isnt really why people come to the heart of Coastal Redwoods. Now that I'm here, I have to just appreciate where I am, and try to not be so burdened by the things I've left behind.  On that note: Currently planning a trip back home. List of things to see include, In-N-Out, Togos, Ikea and if there's time the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger.

UPDATE: I heard from a reliable source (guy who works at Carls Jr) that they will be rebuilding and reopening a new Wendy's. I also read [somewhere] that it closed originally because of ADA compliance issues. I dont know if any of this is actually true but I thought I'd mention it.

Jul 25, 2013

Cash Only - Please Rob Us.

Often, and very annoyingly we go to pay for our food, beer, or whatever and they say "oh sorry we don't accept cards, cash only" WTF? are you a drug dealer or a prostitute? Two years ago I could accept cards on my fucking cell phone, why cant a business do it? There is absolutely no excuse that I can think of.  Maybe several years ago, when there was no mobile card swipe apps, and the credit card companies would rape your ass with charges to accept cards, but to have a Square account that takes like 3% of each purchase is worth it for the convenience of your customers. Right? Who the fuck carries cash anyway? Also, you'd think cash-only businesses would be a nice target for robbers. Think about it, 100% of your purchases are cash... and stealing a drawer full of ATM receipts isn't going to buy you your next meth fix.  Not to mention, crooks know everyone in your line has dough on them to pay at your stupid cash-only business. I saw this article today and it got me thinking. 

Business Owner Wields Knife to Fend off Gun Toting Robber
Arcata Police Dept. Press Release:On Wednesday July 24th 2013, at approximately 6:15 pm, officers from the Arcata Police Department responded to the La Chiquita Taqueria in the 700 Blk of 10th Street for the report of an attempted robbery.  -LoastCoastOutpost

 La Chiquita Taqueria is a fucking taco truck. How many taco trucks do you know that take cards? Hardly any.  So I was thinking.. get everyone on Square or some equivalent of mobile card swipe technology. And just not accept cash. I'm not sure if it's even legal but if a place can turn away your perfectly good debit card, they can turn away your robber bait cash. "what about people who dont have credit cards or bank accounts" :-(   ... screw em, just like douche bag inconvenience  store owner turning me away for not hauling around my mad stacks of cash around with me.

Make it known that you don't take cash, and have no cash on hand..you'll never get robbed!

Jul 22, 2013

"SUCKS" and "DUH"

The words "sucks" and "duh" have been accepted as being more or less politically correct now. But why? On the surface they are pretty innocuous, but so are words like "gay" and "retard" by basic definition. What's interesting to me is where I think they came from. 

Saying something sucks is basically like saying something is gay. The origins of saying "you suck" came from what I can best guess boys or men insulting other men.  Saying "you suck" is a shortened version of saying " hey you, heterosexual male, you are gay and suck other men's penises" . Somehow it escaped the same non politically correct connotations as saying something or someone is "gay". But to me, if you break it down, it's kind of the same thing. 

Similarly, the sayings "duh" and "derr" are widely accepted.  Again, in my opinion these terms are most likely derived from making fun of mentality disabled people. Growing up if kids wanted to make fun of someone for saying something stupid, kids would say "duhhh" and shake their hand at their chest as to mimic someone with a mental or motor function divisibility. As we got older, it eventually became just saying "duh" or "derr" which by all means, is still just as offensive. So, why has it remained OK to say?  

I'm no expert but I think society either missed the connection, or has latched onto "gay" and "retard" so hard that they didn't bother to notice. 
Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Jul 11, 2013

Digital Wallpaper!

I was sick of the stock wallpapers that come with Android, and never really found stuff I liked on the web... occasionally I'd use a photo but those get boring too so I made some cool geometric-ish wallpapers.. which I'm sure I'll get bored of too.  (i've made them before for my old phone(s)

Feel free to download them and use them. but please let me know what you think in the comments.