Changing Internet Providers Part 3

Go back and check out the first two installments of my saga of trying to switch internet providers. 

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

It's basically about how fucking shitty Optimum is.  Immediately after cancelling my service I got emails with offers to stay, several things in the mail trying to get me to come back but I just threw them out.  Then I got this text message

Praying hands emoji?  oh man.  Then the next option is STOP with a broken heart emoji.  These fuckers are desperate and it's almost embarrassing.  I haven't gotten a text or anything from them since.  Well that's not true.  In part two, I mention how I was supposed to get a free iPad when I signed up and the rep said I needed to stay with them another month and even offered 2 free months to stay but after 45 mins on the phone I just didn't care anymore and said I didn't want it.  Well yesterday I had a package on my porch.  It was nothing I was actually expecting... it's the free iPad!  

The box has a bunch of optimum mobile promo material in it so I was like low key afraid to turn it on in case it's automatically signed up for a free month of mobile account I have to opt out of. I turned off all the cellular connections and so far, so good.  This company sucks so hard I would not be surprised.  

That dude on the phone totally lied to me and said I wouldn't get it unless I stayed signed up longer.  But that's what they do they fucking lie.  Since the first time I called them to the last time I talked to them before cancelling.  I'll say this again.  Their service is fine.  It was fast enough to do what I wanted.  Everything worked.  But they fucking lie.  They jack up your rates. There's gigabites of horror stories on the Optimum subreddit about how they go out of their way to be shitty when they don't have to.  Just stop being a shitty company. Give people a normal rate so they don't call mad at you for jacking their price just so you can just give them a great deal again.   There's this poor guy Randy who posts from Optimum offering help but the people have turned on him.  

Get outta there, Randy!  

Hopefully this is the end of my saga.  I'm waiting to see if they try to take another auto-payment out of my bank account.  But I hope this is the end.  

I changed Internet Providers Part II

You may remember back in Dec I decided to start the journey of getting off ATT and trying the new Vero Fiber service who are the first fiberoptic ISP available to the general public in my area. Ever.  Unfortunately I had to go to the butthole of local ISP's, Optimum in the meantime.  Well the day has finally arrived!  Huzzah!  This morning in a pleasant and fairly painless process, Vero Fiber was installed. They didn't even try to upsell me into a router I didn't need because he told me the Netgear router he noticed there was better than the one he brought. A shit company like Optimum would probably lie and make me pay monthly for a router I didn't need. So the next phase was to cancel Optimum. I've heard horror stories and frankly fully expected it to be a chore to do but dumping ATT actually was pretty smooth. They basically were like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and just told me when my last day would be.  So I wondered naively if the stories I'd heard were blown out of proportion. Well, let me tell you that just spent 40 mins on phone with this woman who's name I forget with a delightful, thick and vaguely Asian accent on a phone connection that let me hear myself talk a second after I said something. Which isn't very reassuring for a communications technology company. But before we even got into it she needed my account access code which is on my bill.. which I don't have because I'm paperless..which was a whole other fucked up situation from before. Anyway, now I have to log into my account on their website which for some reason the password I had saved is no longer correct. So while I'm on the phone with her I'm having to do the whole "forgot my password" shit. She keeps telling me "sir it's on the top corner of your bill" I swear this is done by them to make me want to give up on cancelling. Finally I find the code and then It went something like this:

Lady: "Can I ask why you want to cancel your service?"

Me: "I just want to"
Lady: "can you tell me what is the reason?"
Me, already flabbergasted: "do I have to tell you?"
Lady: "I only ask because I see you have a really excellent promotion with us now I am wondering why do you want to leave"
Me: "I just want to leave and try something different"
Lady: "we will give you a month for free"
Me: "I don't want it. No thank you"
Lady: "BUT IT FREE WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE?!!"
She couldn't understand why anyone could possibly turn down something that was free. She pushed me to this.
Me: "it's my right to not want to do business with your company"
Lady irritated: "BUT SIR ITS FREE SERVICE"
Me. it started to get personal "YOUR WIRES ARE RIPPED OUT OF MY WALLS. THE ROUTER IS IN THE BOX READY TO BE SENT BACK. I NO LONGER WANT YOUR SERVICE"
Lady: "....but sir it's a free promotion you dont have to be paying anything for one month..."

OMG! My coworker in the next office could hear me and was laughing. After another 20 mins of this back and forth, sounding defeated, she pauses for a few seconds and finally says she's transferring me to someone to terminate my service. While on hold but she pops back in every 40 seconds or so "I'm still working on this please hold for a few more mins and I'll be right back" She does this like 5 more times. I swear they do this on purpose so I have time to think about missing out on the sweet offer I passed up on. Finally get to the next person who's supposed to finalize my cancelation. Now at this point I've given up on ever seeing the free iPad I was supposed to get when I signed up but to fuck with them I ask about it. Of course he tries to sweeten the deal. 2 months free plus 3 years of $20/mo locked in with no contract. "and that way you can still get that free iPad" I really don't need or want an iPad but I mean that IS a sweet deal. Here's the thing tho; if this company would just have a decent fair price that didn't go up every year for no reason and just like, not be a shitty, lying, piece of shit company then maybe people wouldn't be immediately jumping onto the first legitimate competitor they've had in over a decade here. He signed off the call by trying to sell me their cellular phone service. Yea, no. Fuck off, Optimum. Here's to Vero hopefully not turning into a shitty, greedy fuckjob of a company. Who am I kidding, this is Trump's America.

Nobody Likes Photo Fridays Anymore

 I don't care!  Here's some eye-viagra.  

First some recent political cartoons I made.  Because fuck if I'm not inspired by rage. 

Trump's reaction to the S. Korean president just sicking the military on the people when he didn't get his waye. 

Elect a King, get his Jesters. 

Fuck CEOs of Insurance Companies.  Fuck them all. 

ok now actual photos. 

Interesting finds at the Church yard-sale. 

Did another Pastels On The Plaza!  

Bruce the shark. 

Went in for a sleep study.  Did not see snake man. 

you what? 

Benny got de-nutted. 

our Halloween decor. 

4 Cats on her. 

Remember that joke about forgetting the batteries I made a long time ago? 
Saw this and chuckled a little. (it means diarrhea)

This is most likely Bruce's last xmas.  :-(

BIRD

Old filter makes me look like my dad.  

After the election I needed some god damn cheer. 

recommend. 

2 months later... 

So ready for my Season 2 Premier Waffle Party 

I added more stuff to my Redbubble.com store.  Link/Ad in the sidebar. 

_____________

Tiny pepperoni on tiny pizza makes it look like I shrunk down a regular pizza. 

CUDDLE PUDDLE!! 

We got 3rd rate horror movie NOSTERAFU 
(hint: it's spelled wrong on the marquee)

Don't forget. 

It was put a plunger on your head day. 

I Changed Internet Service Providers: Here's How it Went

OK I need to pop off here for a minute about my ISP.  Where do I begin?  I have been with AT&T since 2016 and the bill was just getting too damn high to justify the very slow internet.  I found out that they are no longer going to be servicing their internet infrastructure in my area so I cancelled it.  I am very interested in the new Vero Fiber that's currently being installed in my area but it wont be ready until sometime next year.  In the meantime I reluctantly called Optimum for internet service. When they were Suddenlink they had a horrible reputation locally and I'm hearing it's the same ol' shit with Optimum. I still need internet it is the modern age after all and they're pretty much the only other option.   Anyway, I call them wanting the 300mbps service and the guy talks me into the GigFiber.  I didn't know until afterwards but Optimum has no fiber lines in this city.  So before I even sign up they're already lying to me.  The price ended up being only $5 more and we're getting a free iPad (we'll see) Now I'm already pissed and I haven't even got the service yet.  I wanted them to come install it but the guy talked me into a home install kit because having a tech come would make the price go up.  After I get the kit I realize that DirecTV cut the old Suddenlink cables and put theirs in for the dish.  So I have to set up a tech to install it anyway.  The tech says he has to replace all the shit that was there because it was hella old, and they had to get a bucket truck to fix something on the pole.  Thanks a lot, useless sales guy in India.  He tells me that he hates that they sell people shit that doesn’t exist.  He said we’ll get close to a gig but it’s definitely not fiber and the routers sometimes try to hard to give you the full speed.  Whatever tho, I’ve had it for a week and it’s fine. Way better than the 14-15mbps I was getting with AT&T.   Oh and remember the sales jerk saying getting it installed would cost a lot?  Guess how much the tech appointment was?  That's right, no cost to me.  Who knows tho I might get charged for it anyway because they've already lied to me.

So that was irritating.  Now onto setting up my online account. It says I have to be ON my Optimum internet connection to set it up so I had to wait for him to finish installing it before I could check my account into.  So finally it’s up and running! Time to set up my online profile.  Choose username -check, have Google suggest a strong password -check… wait, no check. Why wont it accept the password?  Oh good, unlike every other website that is trying to protect you from hackers this website only wants numbers and letters.  No special characters.  Are you trying to get me hacked?  Ok moving onto the several security questions.  I’m not going to say what they are but almost all of them are things anyone could find out from spending 5 mins on my Facebook profile.  Again ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME HACKED?  

So I get my profile set up and I go into billing and it says I have a bill due the 30th.  Cool, I gave them my payment info over the phone when I signed up because auto pay and paperless billing was part of my pricing deal when I signed up.  Wait, what? it’s not set to paperless and auto?  The install tech warned me that they tell you it’s auto sometimes and then you don’t pay it and get a late fee.  He mentioned that because I told him they’re giving me an iPad and that you have to pay the first 3 bills on time and to make sure they’re paid or you don’t get the promotion.  I didn’t think it would be an issue since my pricing was based on auto-pay.  Those motherfuckers.  I set it all up once I got logged in.  Wondering how else they’re going to try and fuck me. 

It’s like this company is intentionally going out of its way to be shitty when they don’t even have to.  They already have a bad reputation.  Just stop being shitty.  Stop lying to people.  Oh I know why… because they basically have a monopoly and can do whatever they want.  

Here’s to Vero not sucking and to them taking all of Optimum’s business. 

You better not make this about Android

You better not make this about Android, motherfuckers.  Apple fucked this up. Be better, Apple. I wouldn't put it past them to sabotage RCS on purpose to keep their precious blue bubbles at the expense of their customer's privacy.

Yup they are making it about Android.  

Saw another "Tech" article about this and they're spinning this into being Google Messages, RCS or Android's fault. Even if they don't outright say it they heavily imply it. It works fine for Google users. It's got end-to-end encryption. Google wanted this for iphones too. That was the whole fucking point but they're basically telling iphone users to not text androids using imessage because its unsafe. Like Android phones are going to send icky Android viruses. This is slander and typical inaccurate Apple biased reporting. It's same the ol "everything was fine before, let us just stay in our comfy little walled apple orchard" bullshit that Google was trying to fix. Apple didn't implement RCS correctly and everyone blames Google. Fucking typical.

It's been hard enough telling my iphone friends to update their fucking phone to 18. Hard enough to explain what RCS is.  Now this is going to just scare them off anything that is trying to make life easier for everyone.  But they don't care, they're like "Just get an iphone"  Eat my ass, you couldn't even be bothered to update your OS. The reason all of this is happening, how it's being reported is the same veiled discrimination towards anything that isn't an iphone.  The biggest problem with that is how basically tech-ignorant iphone users are they don't even know or care what is actually happening or why it will benefit them.  Now this news is coming out and they're like "SEE I TOLD YOU ANDROID SUX"  Bottom line: the attitude has always been 'they dont need us, we need them' elitist crap. 

Many people in other parts of the world don't understand the RCS/SMS thing because they've been using 3rd party apps for messaging for years. The sound logic for everyone would be to switch to WhatsApp or something like that but iPhone users are never going to change. They don't even know they can. Actually I don't use an iphone and because of how locked down iOS is I don't even know if they are allowed to change messaging apps.

A big change like this, one for their own good,  has to happen without them even knowing they did anything.  Apple users are beholden to Apple's command. They use iphones because they don't have to think about anything. That's a feature to them not a bug.  Make it seamless, don't announce it.  Just make it work and one day they'll be like "hey did you get an iphone, your bubbles aren't green anymore" 

People Out Here.

So I'm sitting here at Jury duty waiting and I'm remembering some interesting members of society I experienced yesterday. First at Costco there was this young couple with a kid who looked about 17. White awkward family photos type of people. Hard to explain but from the moment I noticed them while getting a shopping cart outside, standing behind me while I scanned my membership card and every time they were within earshot of me like they were stalking me and all the way out back into the parking lot after we were done I could hear the dad (assuming?)  reciting Bible verses and making the kid repeat them like he was indoctrinating him.  It was so fucking weird. Religion is already weird without witnessing this totally bizarre training session inside of the Costco. 

The I had to return a thing at Walmart. I usually try to avoid this place but they had the Xmas lights I needed. (yea I know I just went off on Christianity and I'm decorating for Xmas. Fuck you. I needed some cheer) anyway so I'm in the return line and there is this super old man 2 people before me and a little old lady with a shopping cart who let's me go in front of her because she's just waiting for her husband. Then she points to the old man. In the cart is just her big ass purse and a pack of Depent diapers.  While we're waiting she saunters up to the man, turns an makes a sinister smile and reaches up to her husband's ear to tickle it. He doesn't react so she does it again with no reaction. She looks back at us and shrugs her shoulders and heads back to her cart.  When the guy gets up there whatever business he's conducting requires him to give his phone number but he doesn't know it. He slowly fumbles in his jacket pocket for his phone and his wife comes to help.  The cashier asks if she knows his number by heart and she says "no..." pauses looks at her audience, winks and then says "but his girlfriend does"

Fucking hilarious. They're probably shitty republican Trump voters but it was a cute exchange. 

Happy Holidays everyone. 

Well.. Fuck.

I drew this the other day.

So 70 howevermany million people who are brainwashed, ignorant, selfish, oblivious or a combination of decided that the orange menace gets another 4 years to fuck everything up.   Here's a selection of social media posts and comments I've made since the election. 

Just this morning I was starting to worry about all the MAGA turds who have somehow been getting their way. And how all of them are anti-vaxxers and how they could realistically get vaccines banned and then we have another pandemic but it's way worse because those who WANT vaccines cant get them and it's just a fucking dystopian nightmare death spiral. So he's making the cage guy the border czar. This is going to be a sucky 4 years. I think the dems need to take a note. When you have power be as extreme about it as they are but the other direction. None of this "reach across the aisle" bullshit. Kick them in the fucking crotch.

If you think anything Trump says he's gonna make better is going to be better, he already said he's going to put a guy with brain worms who collects road kill in charge of health care.

"Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Says Entire Departments Of The FDA 'Have To Go'"
Making eggs a "will this kill me today?" food will make them cheaper tho. That's all they wanted.  Here's how you get it.

You know, everybody used to drink raw milk. Back when life expectancy was like 50 and 1 in 4 kids didn't make it to age 6. We stopped because, you know, somebody invented pasteurization. I forget his name.

Didn't you know? Science is woke and is the left trying to make us all gay with gay science milk. Leave Milk is as god made it.

The right wing played the long game by slowly making Americans stupid and angry for 40 years. We don't need to pander to idiots. While we might win next time, we're just going to piss them off when we try to do anything good for the country while in office. We need more smart people voting.

Here's the thing prices don't necessarily need to go down. It would be nice but wages need to go up.

Prices are going to skyrocket and don't be surprised to see the minimum wage scrapped. They hate us.

It's part of the plan. Slave labor is great for the stock market...... Errr I mean economy. The stock market soared this morning after the Trump win. This is the slave master's wet dream. They love him. It's all just billionaires sucking each other's dicks. If that doesn't tell the poor MAGA cult dipshits something then they are truly fucking stupid. But where would they even hear this info? They wont. Or they'll say "see he's good for the economy already!" Billionaires making billions, the stock market soaring as soon as TFG got elected should tell you something. It's good for them, not you. Wall St, not Main St.

America when you touched the hot pan 8 years ago it hurt many of you yet, when you're presented with a hot pan again you reach right out and grab it. There wont be as many this time to come and put cold water, creams and bandages on it for you. Every blister and sore is on you.

You know how when your bike is stolen but the cops are like "i dunno, nuthin we can do" and then you actually find who did it and have proof and they're still like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" That's how I feel about Trump getting away with all of his crimes done in broad daylight and facing 0 consequences.

OK that's enough for now. You get the gist.