Sep 1, 2017


I've been making Satan jokes, drawing Satanic symbols and listening to Satanic music since I was a stupid teenager.  Friends of mine back then even got Satanic bibles and wore dark clothing but all of it in my opinion was just kids lashing out and being stupid attention seeking kids.   I never really looked into what Satanism actually was all about, mostly because I just thought it was a bunch of weirdos.  Adult versions of the attention seeking teenagers.  Recently stumbled upon an episode of the Stuff You Should Know podcast that looked at it in an outside, third party non-judgmental perspective.  I learned that if you go way back, Satan wasn't this pure evil anti-god that is commonly known today.  Apparently even in older versions of the bible he isn't really mentioned or that big of a deal. Christianity really likes to rewrite shit to conform with whatever backwards ideology was in power at the time.  So take anything in a bible with a grain of salt.  My biggest takeaway tho was that I'm finding, while there's a bit of dumb teenager aspect to it on the surface,  most of it is very serious,  unexpectedly well thought out and for the most part sort-of appealing to my sensibilities.

Here's what I mean.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of Earth
1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Some of this is kind of out-dated or just laughable but most of it is pretty much how I lead my life already.

There's Sins too.  I'm not going to list them all but the first of the Nine sins is "STUPIDITY"  Alright! They go on pretty similarly from there but they lose me when they start talking about Magic. I'm assuming its all metaphor for other stuff, but then again accepted religions of the world believe some crazy-ass-shit too.  But remember, stupidity is a sin. Click here for the list of sins.

Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan has been compared to L.Ron Hubbard and his background is a little sketchy and the imagery is a little ridiculous and in my opinion counterproductive to the message but at it's root, I think Satanism might be the religion I would choose if I had to.  I'm content on being an unaffiliated  Atheist.

For more about the philosophies, history or to become a member; Visit
And  always... HAIL SATAN!!!

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