So many of these cases where the supposed "good guys" get tunnel vision on a suspect they blatantly ignore evidence or any other suspects that come up. Some who straight up admit it, or even when there's DNA proving they did it. In one case like this the cops just said "oh well they must have helped [the original suspect] do it". They just can't admit they're wrong no matter what happens. And then when it's been proven they violated rights and falsely sentenced an innocent person there is no punishment for them. They just get to keep on doing their jobs and fuck people over.
Aug 18, 2025
The Noggin Where I Talk About True Crime and the Justice System
So many of these cases where the supposed "good guys" get tunnel vision on a suspect they blatantly ignore evidence or any other suspects that come up. Some who straight up admit it, or even when there's DNA proving they did it. In one case like this the cops just said "oh well they must have helped [the original suspect] do it". They just can't admit they're wrong no matter what happens. And then when it's been proven they violated rights and falsely sentenced an innocent person there is no punishment for them. They just get to keep on doing their jobs and fuck people over.
Aug 14, 2025
SkUnKeD!
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my artist rendition of what it might have looked like. |
Aug 5, 2025
Apple Pencil Update. WTF, Apple Part 2.
Remember that free iPad I got from Optimum after they lied and said I wouldn't get it unless I paid for another month of service? Well it was cool using it to draw once I got the right Apple Pencil, and the right adapter and cord to make it work. I drew some stuff with it but haven't really had time to mess with it for a while.
I knew this would happen because I'm not one to carry a friggin tablet with me everywhere I go. That's why I love the built in sPen stylus of my galaxy phone. I've been using the Galaxy Note (now Galaxy S Ultra) line for like 10 years and now I hear they're going to discontinue the built in Spen. Fuck you, Samsung. But yea, since tablets are cumbersome it-along with the Apple Pencil have lived in a drawer for a few months.
I have a small project I wanted to use it on so I dusted it off. Of course the tablet was dead so I popped it on a charger. As expected the Apple Pencil is also dead. The iPad wont recognize it when plugged in and wont charge on a charger.
So I wen't to ask Uncle Google to see what to do. Apparently it needs a tiny amount of juice to tell the iPad it's plugged in but if the battery goes to full ZERO then it's basically useless and dead. Official recourse is to take it to an Apple store and they can repair it for $$. Great design, Apple. The answer Google AI search results is giving me is to heat it up. No seriously. Apparently someone made a video saying that if you wrap it in a hot towel for 20 mins it wakes up the internal battery enough to start charging. I haven't been able to try this yet and it's probably bullshit but.... What the actual fucking hot garbage, Apple? (Spoiler alert: it actually worked)
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drawn with SPen on Galaxy phone. (because it works) |
Jul 15, 2025
My Problem with Superman Part 2.
Here's where I get into pissing of the nerds territory again. Why does he have a cousin and a dog? They make such a big deal about him being the sole survivor of his dying planet. His parents leave a message for him about how he's Earth's only hope or whatever but he randomly has a cousin and she has a dog. Did she come with him in the escape pod from Krypton? I dont get it. It cheapens the idea of Superman being this lone survivor who has a fortress of solitude. Because he's the only Kryptonian left. But there was ZOD and the bad guys who were if my memory serves also from Krypton. I guess I dont know anything about Superman and I don't care enough to learn.
I fucking hate Superman.
Jul 14, 2025
Old People.
Not all boomers are shitty tho. Some are just weird. Maybe they were weird when they were younger or maybe they are losing their minds or maybe, which seems common too is that they just stopped giving a fuck what people think which I can fully respect.
Jun 27, 2025
80s Memory Unlocked: Crocodile Mile Injury
After being heavily marketed to in the late 80s during cartoons and kid shows we begged and finally got our parents to get us Crocodile Mile. I'm sure it was an attempt to cash in on the popularity of Crocodile Dundee. It was a crocodile themed slip-n-slide with an inflatable part at the end that formed a bump to launch off and a pool of water you splash into. The "Splashdown Pool" was way to shallow and the "Boomerang Bump" didn't really launch you into the air at all. The whole thing ended up being 80% less cool as they made it look in the commercials but it was still a slip-n-slide. At the bump at the end that "launches" you into the pool had a curtain of thin plastic sheeting with the mouth of a crocodile printed on it that you launch through. The curtain was held up with a tube of rigid plastic bent in a hoop which was inserted into hard plastic cups that had stakes that also held it all in place which you pushed into the grass like a plastic tent stake.
Here's the TV spot that had us so excited. This song is gonna be stuck in my head all day now.
The hoop fell off every time you went through it so we just left it off. The fun was starting to wear off after using it for about an hour and for one last go at it my younger brother got a running start, slid down the slide but veered off course slightly missing the Boomerang Bump and slid his bare, wet chest across one of the cup stakes that protruded up at lease 3 inches from the ground. He ended up getting a 10" gash across his chest and was bleeding everywhere. I'm sure parents were summoned and friends went home but I don't have any recollection of the rest of that day.
I guess getting attacked and drawing blood was more realistic to being attacked by a crocodile than the part the kept falling off. What's funny is that I found a commercial for something I didn't remember existing but it was "Super Crocodile Mile". What's so super about it you ask? It came with an inflatable surfboard mat thing you used to slide down on. While marketed as a way to go faster, I wonder if kids were getting cut by the stakes and they had to put something between them and the dangerous plastic parts.
Jun 26, 2025
PYMYM: The Gnar-Maiden
Back in 2008 I drew a couple versions of a mutated Narwhal for no reason. It was around the same time I had drawn this full-figured skateboarder for a skateboard company and sort of merged them together in my brain and created this bit of silly fiction. Mostly as an excuse to fuck around in photoshop at work.
Which brings us to this installment of "Posts You Might Have Missed" from April of 2008.
The Tale of the Gnar-Maiden
There once was a beautiful skateboarder named Lisa, who loved to ride her skateboard. She also liked to swim in the Arctic seas. Lisa knew of a magical sea creature that liked to swim in these waters but was never too concerned as it was mostly just old stories told by the local people. The North Alaskan Mutated Narwhal or "Gnarwhal" to the local Inuit tribes was said to be a docile creature known for it's giant tusk and tasty secretions. As the story goes the secretions were once harvested by the natives in the olden times and used for medicinal and ceremonial purposes.
One day while swimming in the frigid waters Lisa got caught in a freak storm that carried her out to sea. She nearly drowned when her body sank to the depths. Deep down with the Gnarwhal.
In this same storm, a military cargo ship carrying top secret government radioactive material took a phantom wave and cracked its hull spilling gallons of this experimental substance into the sea.
The substance made its way down to the depths with Lisa who was struggling to swim to the surface and –the Gnarwhal. As the glowing ooze made contact something miraculous and strange happened. Lisa suddenly was able to breath under water and a giant tusk started to grow and came out of her forehead! She then realized that her and one of the sea mammals of lore were starting to meld together and become one.
Leaving out a ton of really important stuff here but long-story-short, she went on to market and sell with the help of her marketing exec. brother, Joaquin and became a very successful business woman/mutant sea creature hybrid. The End.
Sorry, Kids.
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Not a care in the world other than trying to ollie more than 4 inches. Me and my skate crew 1986 probably? |
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Pepsi: the choice of the new generation. Very little me. |
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rock candy and confederate war money. not a cell phone in sight! Me and Jeremy at Fort Point San Francisco probably around 1989 |
Jun 18, 2025
At The Bottom Of The Sea... (OceanGate Sub Implosion)
Anyone watching the OceanGate sub documentary? There's one on Max/Discovery and a new one on Netflix but they both pretty much tell the same story. Even my homeboy Josh Gates did an episode of his adventure show on the sub and talked to Stockton Rush about how it was all going. Josh had to go to Discovery brass and tell them to not air the episode because he felt it was dangerous to promote this guy and that he thought people were going to get hurt. Boy was he right. Everyone around him with a brain and an ounce of courage told him it was gonna fail and kill people and he fired them or they quit because they didn't want to be responsible for killing people. Holy shit what a dick that guy was.
Anyone who didn't kiss his ass he fired. And then he was crushed to death in his little stupid submarine.
You paid to see
Where the wealthy lay deceased
...At the bottom of the sea
I find it hard to think
This was a tragedy
...At the bottom of the sea.
People struggle to be
While you struggled to breathe
...At the bottom of the sea.
You built a submarine
Ignored their expertise
Now you're dead.
Crushed to death.
...At the bottom of the sea.
Just a tarnished legacy
and a pile of debris
...At the bottom of the sea.
Almost like an allegory for what's happening in the White House... just a matter of how many of us he takes down in his death submarine.
Jun 17, 2025
Some Stories About Me and My Butthole
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Dramatic artistic reenactment |
The Quiche Incident
This was at my new at the time girlfriend's aunt's house for a party with her aunt's neighbors. She lived in a cool but not huge house in a nice little neighborhood and had cool but kind of hip/snobby friends/neighbors. Or at least that was my impression because I was a young bad ass and insecure.
Not long after moving to a small rural city 5 hours away from the bay area a neighbor we had made friends with was flying out of Oakland Airport the same weekend we were driving down to see family. On the way to the airport we stopped at Chili's for dinner. Normal, safe mediocre Chili's. I should note that this friend had never been to a real "city" before and she was excited to be flying out of the Oakland. The airport isn't' in the best part of Oakland. It's not all bad along the normal route Google tells you to take, but a traffic detour... or should I say, the police closing a whole-ass major intersection for reasons we could only speculate on, took us through a part of East Oakland that people passing through on the way to the airport don't usually go. And since it was after dinner the sun was starting to go down and it was becoming– well it was getting to be night time in the hood. I was driving and while our friend was "ooh"ing and "ahh"ing at things happening out the windows she'd only seen in movies and TV, my guts were starting to bubble. It came on quick and I tried to play it cool. There was nowhere to stop and find a bathroom so I kept quiet and clinched. hard. Once we got closer to the outer airport area there were gas stations and fast food places. I blurted out "I gotta shit bad" and abruptly turned into a gas station that had a Starbucks on one side of the parking lot and a Wendys inside of a gas station situation on the other side. I parked haphazardly kind of in the middle next to the air and water station and carefully glided to the Starbucks. The one bathroom they had was occupied and I waited for like 10 seconds and looked up - the brightly lit Wendy's sign across the parking lot came into focus. I then, trying to be casual and not shit my pants booked it past my car and to the Wendy's/Gas station. The Men's was occupied but the women's was open and I said fuck it. While I was in there my GF was texting me that they saw me fly by them in the parking lot and later made fun of my butt-clench, straight leg waddle at hypers peed. Since I'm 1/4 Panamanian for some reason they coined it "the Panamanian Shuffle" Now any time I have to poo or am running to the bathroom she says "Panamanian Shuffle"
Fucking Chili's.
Friday Night Poops
This is kind of a PYMHM but it fits the theme.
Late December 2006. This is an old one folks from the glory days of the noggins. Italics is 2025 me talking about 2006.
We got this new heater/ceiling fan thing for xmas that wasn't working so my dad and I switched out the light switch and checked all the breakers to make it work... it still doesn't work. The whole time we were rushing because it was Celeste's 12th birthday and we were supposed to meet at the Mexican restaurant down the street. We got there just in time. I got a carnitas burrito which was hella good but had more cheese in it/on it than I expected. I didn't take a Lactaid (here's that lactose intolerance again) but didn't think it would be a big deal. (because it never is right?) after I finished I started to get the bubble guts and knew I needed a toilet fast. No one at the table realized how serious my situation was.They kept saying "were almost ready we're leaving soon" but they hadn't even got the check yet.
So I'm sitting there with a crazy stomach and bubbling insides, in a cold sweat ready to shoot hot shit all over the place. Finally we pay and get up to leave. My ass is clinched tighter than a nuns cunt on Easter as I try to walk to the car. (pre-Panamanian shuffle!) we only live 2 blocks away thankfully. We get to the house and before the car stops I'm halfway to the stairs. Running trying hard to keep the shit in. I must have taken too wide a stride while running and about three of my steps were accompanied by a squirt, squiiiirrrt. oh fuck "Meg I think I shit my pants" she only laughs. before I could think about the implications of shitting myself I get on the toilet and unleash like Eisenhower on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I was in there for a good 30 minutes. and another 15 cleaning myself. After that, exhausted, I joined the rest of the family just in time for present opening and cake. I passed on the cake.
After all hullabaloo from the party we went back up to our room to call it a night. Meg walks in first and hits the newly installed light switch. At that split second the lights turn on then we hear a pop and then everything goes black. Our first thought was oh shit we wired it wrong and it blew the power to the whole house. Then meg saw a blue flash and we turned around then realized the power was out on the whole street.. Then after we walked around in the moonlight realized that it was all of down town. I talked to my dad the next day who lives on the other side of town and he said his power was out too. It was out for like 2 hours. Pretty eerie when everything is off. It was complete silence other than the sirens of EMT's and Ambulances going to the old folks home down the street. Thats gotta suck. We tried to read a book by flashlight but Meg kept talking about shadow people and freaking me out. Then all the sudden zzhhhhhoooom everything came back on. still haven't heard what caused it...maybe a squirrel chewed a wire or something... I guess it happens tho. I think this actually ended up being a possum that got fried at the power station. I also have a memory of hearing what sounded like a raccoon dying in the bushes across the street during the silence when the power was out. Maybe that was another time.
Jun 11, 2025
Waffle Party Conception. Severance Fan Fiction.
I know this post will have a very narrow audience. Even narrower considering literally no one reads my blog anymore. If you haven't seen the hit AppleTVplus show, Severance. Go watch it.
If you have seen it you'll kind of get what I'm riffing on here. I was pondering the bonkers work incentive for the MDR team known as a "Waffle Party" It comes totally out of nowhere but sort of tracks with the culty vibes at Lumon Industries. I had this mental image of two low-level Lumon execs sitting around thinking of ways to try to impress their bosses. As if they were tasked to come up with ideas for incentives to keep the innies in MDR meeting quota. So far they already had pencil erasers and the caricature drawings but they thought bigger. What if they let the innies have sex as a reward?
Setting: Breakfast meeting at Pips with two Lumon executive employees.
–Hey, weird thought- how about as an incentive, maybe we should let the innies have sex?
I bet they'd love that! haha.
–what if the innie is taming the tempers?
Like have the innie fuck woe, dread, malice and frolic?
–yea we could get sexy costumes made...
how do you make Dread sexy?
–anything can be sexy, Steve haven't you been to the Halloween Store?
Good point. So it will be like an orgy with hot chicks dressed as the tempers.
–Ok make one of them a dude.
–If they want to I guess? Maybe some of them are gay...Maybe the woman wants to fuck the other women tempers. Who knows what those innies get up to. Maybe they will think they have to and not want to ... fuck it. If it's for Kier they probably will. We can just make the goat a dude.
Ok settled. (he says mouth full of waffles) What should we call it?
–lol how about a 'waffle party'
(spits out waffles) what!?
–yea we could have the innie eat a stack of waffles while they dance.
This is getting out of hand, wont they think that's weird?
–Dude this whole place is weird and they don't even blink and eye. Have you BEEN to the Mamalian's Nurturible? Those weirdo's outies think they work in a corporate records department. They won't even care. They'll be like "sweet, waffles and sex! this is the best job ever"
Ok -'Waffle Party' it is. OMG this place is fucking crazy. I can't wait to tell Jaime.
–Praise Kier
(together) PRAISE KIER!!!
ahh dammit. (dunks napkin in water to dab syrup off his tie)
–(waives down server who laughs under her breath at him spilling on himself) For Kier's-sake can we get the bill please?
Jun 9, 2025
These Trying Times... PYMHM
I called it the "new normal" in the original post and it was mostly about Covid times but with Trump's very authoritarian dictator or petty bitch style of governing. Where if you don't like him he retaliates like a fucking child with access to nuclear codes. It's exactly like that old Twilight Zone episode "The Good Life" about a kid with unlimited powers and everyone around him just kisses his ass.
Back to the old post you might have missed. I wrote a short fictional scene of the future.
I had a vision of a small child in front of a tent fashioned from torn tarps, cardboard with faint Amazon.com logos and various salvaged materials. She is a girl of about nine or ten years old with short hair wearing a bulky sweater with holes in it that revealed layers of dirty clothing underneath and a crude respirator mask. She's standing around a burning pile of trash with a few other children of varying ages. There's also a much older man with dirty white hair under a floppy knit cap. He has wire rimmed glasses which are repaired with tape and a paper clip. He's sporting a tattered cloth scarf which was wrapped around his neck mouth and nose. The child looks up and asks "Grandpa, can you tell us the story about the movie theaters?" The old man clears his throat with a few small coughs, adjusts his scarf and replies "Well, child, there were places where people would go and sit shoulder to shoulder in a small room watching a movie on a big screen the size of house..." Before he could finish his sentence there was an audible gasp from the children standing near by to keep warm. "and no one was scared to get sick grandpa?" Then moisture welled up in the old man's eyes. He coughed again. A single tear fell down his cheek paving a weaving, clean path on through the soot and dirt on his wrinkled skin. He pulled up his make-shift mask to wipe his tear. Adjusted it again, and for a moment remembered what it was like before the "new normal" began. He muttered under his breath "all they had to do was follow simple guidelines...just wear a mask" Then visibly upset now, slightly louder "All they had to do was wear a damn mask!" The excitement put him into a brief coughing fit. The children, startled, all turned their heads towards the old man. The child inquired "Who didn't wear a mask grandpa?" The old man then heard the sound of synchronized, booted footsteps in the mud approaching. "quiet children" the grandpa whispered as the Trumpguard patrol officers approached. The old man huddled the children in his arms and watched the guardsmen carefully as they passed hoping they hadn't heard him talking of people not wanting to wear masks, and movie theaters. The old man's grip on the children loosened once the officers were gone. A sense of relief came over him. The children sensed this even thought they didn't fully understand. One of the younger children looked up to the old man, pulled down his surplus respirator mask and verbalized as best he could "what a... moo vee? The old man quickly peeked out into the road and made sure the men were gone while he gently moved the child's mask back into place. He then put the child on his knee and in between wheezing coughs, constantly adjusting his face scarf, the old man proceeded to explain movies to the children of 2042 by trash fire light.
Fuck something's gonna have to change and fast.
Jun 5, 2025
Old White Dude vs My Take-Out order
May 29, 2025
The Great Italian Gas Station Sandwich- PYMHM with a Twist...
In my original post ... the one I just found on Google, was me in 2006 complaining that my beloved Great Italian sandwich no longer came with pepperoncini in the package. It was written as a complaint and plea to the Rel's Foods company who made and distributed them. I just Googled Rel's and they seem to be an Oakland Ca based company but the reason why I haven't seen my sandwich in a while is because they got slammed hard by the FDA in 2009. Not long after I posted that Noggin. Maybe they knew they were being looked at and the problem was contaminated pepperoncinis so they switched to black olives, which I also complained about in that post.
According to Google AI:
Oakland Sandwich Maker REL's Shut Down for Selling Creepy Crawlies on Rye
May 23, 2025
Hey, Assholes: Photo Friday.
Here's a splattery cumshot of photos. Nothing is in chronological order.
Norman's first walk outside.
Sunny nap time.
this is what led to us getting Norman.