Jury Doody

I just realized I haven't Noggin'd since June and it was kind of a throw away photo post about waffles.  Sorry. 

Anyway I just had Jury Duty and as usual, I didn't get to stay on the jury.  Because of my Significant Other's occupation I personally know many of the Judges, Defense attorneys most of the Public Defenders and some people from the DA's office.  So when they see me coming they probably highlight my name and I'm bounced fairly early in the Jury selection process.  I got nervous tho when I got into the courtroom and didn't know the judge or any of the lawyers. Once I was able to say who my life partner was they probably made notes.  And pretty much as soon as they could the DA dismissed me. The jury chair didn't even have a chance to get warm.  

Being in that room is an interesting cross section of your community but since this is a fairly small community, hence usually knowing much of the legal personnel, I always wonder if I'll know anyone in the jury pool.  This time I didn't directly but the spouse one of the other lawyers in my Wife's office was also there with me.  We'd never met but it was kind of funny that we both were there.  We talked briefly about it on a break and her jury duty story was pretty similar as mine.  I was the first one to get the boot but I'm sure she wasn't far behind.  Another noteworthy thing was that there was a cop, or someone who worked for or at the city police dept.  So basically a cop.  I bet the Defense tosses him.  Also when we were all waiting to see if we would get called or not there was a woman and a man talking and joking seated in front of me.  And when we were let out for lunch I asked if they knew each other and it turns out they were mother and son.  We were all pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen.  They live in the same house even.  The son was about the same age as the defendant and unsurprisingly he was walking to his car while I was driving away after getting dismissed.  I wonder if they kept the mom.  The guy sitting next to me said that he managed a retail store and was in the middle of training new employees.  He said that there was an important event coming up they were preparing for and no one was allowed to request time off during this time.  The Judge didn't give a shit and made him stay. 

 

Also while we were in the waiting room These guys sitting behind me were having a loud conversation about renewing their open carry gun permits and complaining about the laws for gun owners and shit like that.  It was giving 'talking loudly on speaker phone' energy but they're both here talking to each other.  Literally the only people just loudly talking in a room full of people being quiet. One of them was this big bald boomer dude with a long white beard constantly complaining about having to be there.  Making jokes about ways he could have gotten out of it. The guy he was talking to ended up being the cop guy.  Somehow the beard dude wasn't there the next day. One of his schemes must have worked.  

One other funny thing that happened was when I first got there.  It seems there's a very low bar for "security" at the courthouse.  The first day when I got there was a person who looked like Fred Rococco from that Somebody Somewhere show who kept complaining they had a broken rib and needed to go to the hospital. And in the afternoon they must have actually gone to the hospital because it was now a very overweight man who used a cane. I was caught off guard while putting the contents of my pockets into a bin when he politely informed me that he had just passed gas and apologized if it smelled bad. Dude what? The next day was this gray haired grandpa. His long curly gray hair was like a big puffy cloud that his security hat sat high on top of.  The only thing these guards are stopping is metal going through the metal detector.  I'm not judging anyone but these are supposed to be "security guards" at a courthouse. 

Earlier I lied about being the first to get kicked off.  There was one older lady who the whole time during questioning kept being unsure about being able to be partial because of a family tragedy that happened when she was younger that was related to the charges of the defendant.  She was very sincere about wanting to be a juror but everyone knew she wasn't gonna make it.  The Judge himself dismissed her before the attorney's got to make their picks.  

Being a juror is a pretty big deal and there's a lot at stake for just dumb regular people to decide on.  Most of the people were all pretty even-keeled and agreeable about being partial until they started really drilling down with the questions. Then you started to see who these people are.  I always joke and say to go to the local Walmart at like 2pm on a Tuesday and the first 12 people you see coming out are going to decide if you go to prison or not.  Scares the shit out of me.  

Also when I mention to people that I have jury duty I'm sort of shocked at how many people just throw their jury summons in the trash and ignore them.  It's your fucking civic duty.  Everyone should do it if they can.  I'll probably never be on a jury and it kind of bums me out. 

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Here's something funny I noticed while looking for "jury" images for this. 

I saw this image of a juror who's got an apprehensive look.  Like something isn't making sense to her. 

Then I see this image.  She really looks perplexed and confused.  What is going on, Lady!!??

Oh!!! You were confused because YOU WERE ACTUALLY THE LAWYER THE WHOLE TIME!!!  

Who did this fucking photo shoot?  LOL.  

Anyway, stay safe.  Fuck Trump.  Fuck ICE,  Release the Epstein Files. Eat the Rich. Etc Etc. Thank you I love you.