Skunk Dream

I once had a nightmare about skunks.
You say skunks aren't scary but there was a bunch.
My friend stole skunk weed from his momma.
But this song's not about marijuana.
I'm not afraid of bad luck if I break a mirror
Not like Star trek 2 when Khan put those bugs in their ears.

Anyway....
I wear plaid shirts and relaxed fit jeans.
I think the judges on American Idol are too mean.
If I miss your birthday I'll say happy belated.
When I have leftovers I keep them refrigerated.
I like warm coffee and I like it black.
Too much red meat can give you a heart attack.

But listen...
My lawn is brown and my trees are overgrown
But you gotta stay on top of these things if you own a home.
I can't remember the last time I talked to a Librarian.
I like red meat but lots of my friends are vegetarians.
If you hand me a baby I'm not sure what to do.
When the server says "enjoy your meal" I say "you too".

Where was I? ....
I like the smell of sharpies when I use them.
I makes dents in the paper with a Bic pen.
I can't drink milk cuz it gives me the farts
Why's there always one wonky wheel on shopping carts?
My dog likes to jump up on the couch lay down and relax
It really takes it out of him after he chases the cat.

So yea....
I dont always fully stop at stop signs.
I've never had a reason to have my shoes shined.
Kailyn Jenner used to be a dude named Bruce.
And writing in cursive... c'mon what's the use?
I sometimes wonder that if I was the Hulk
I would shop at Costco more and buy in bulk.

Like I was saying....
There's a ton of crumbs down in my keyboard
I've always wanted to find someones dog and get a reward.
My shoe size is 10 and a half.
And my waist size is 38...cuz I'm fat.
Everyone thinks that I was scared because of the smell.
But it was like 40 skunks in that dream and they were mad as hell.