People are still stupid.

So I'm checking out the reviews for the seller I just bought some crap from on amazon and there are so many bad reviews that have nothing to do with the seller.

"This cover sucks and doesn't fit my phone..." 2 stars
"Cheaply made do not buy this product". 1 star
"Extent protector doesn't stick and there's hella bubbles" 2 stars

First of all you morons these reviews don't tell me what product you're even talking about...because they aren't for products you shitheads! And secondly, the poor sellers rating goes down because you don't know how to use the internet.

Granted, if I don't get my shit soon, they're gonna get a less than shiny review from me. I've contacted them about an arrival window of Sept 13 - Oct 3rd for an item ordered Aug 12th and haven't heard back. What the fuck is that shit? It's not like its coming from Thailand or something. It's coming from so-cal.

Anyway, I'm sure the reviews on other sites like this are similar...

"This seller sucks! When I ordered this thing my chair broke and cut my leg...never buy from them!" 1 star

I blame George Bush.

posted from Bloggeroid

Darth Insidious

I watched that movie Insidious last night. The previews hyped it up to be the scariest movie since Exorcist. Oh yea? Whatever, ok, so I guess I need to see this shit.

It's about a family who moves into a new house and......you know what? its easier if I just say its the movie Poltergeist. Instead of a little girl its a little boy. There's no pink slime or TVs but essentially that's what's up.

Oh yeah there's a demon who looks like Darth Mail from StarWars. Why? I dunno its pretty silly and makes the major bad guy in the movie less frightening. Theres also an old lady ghost who ends up being sort of important but they never talk about who she is or why she's there.

Anyway, there's tons of pointless sub plot stuff that leads nowhere. Oh yea even tho the ghost expert lady just said your kid, not your house was haunted, were gonna make a whole scene showing how hecka people were murdered in your house and bow they're ghosts now. Also, no creepy old lady in any wedding pics. That would have been too much of a dead giveaway.

Oh yea hey guys, dont you even look at your kids drawings? He fucking drew himself astral projecting AND he drew the demon. I'll give you a pass on not noticing the demon, you could have thought it was Darth Maul. But damn, dad, those pictures were up at your old house even.

Overall it was a nice try but the bad guy was from star wars, the ghost psychic lady was the horny landlady from Kingpin so I kept waiting for her to make the oral sex tongue gesture.

and the plot about rescuing a child, who's soul is trapped in the place where the souls of the deceased go to be ghosts, was ripped right out of Poltergeist. And the ending was cheesy.

As far as their claims that its the scariest since Exorcist? Nice fucking try but no cigar. I say go rent Poltergeist and Exorcist again because they kick this movie's ass. They should be ashamed for even invoking the thought of those movies to promote this turd. Hollywood sucks.

posted from Bloggeroid

Social network dilemma.

So you've snapped that random photo on your smartphone a.d you've clicked the share button, but now what the fuck do you do?

Do you post it to Facebook, Twitter, flickr, Picasa, Google plus? Or however many other photo sharing ervices you use.

Whats the difference or advantage to each one?

Sorry this isnt an informational blog post. It's just me asking you all what you think.

So there.

posted from Bloggeroid

I found an app!

Ok so UK posting this from my smartphone. Using an app I just found for Blogger called Bloggeroid. It seems pretty easy but the typing still kinda sucks for my fat Shrek fingers.


That's my dad showing off his plumbers crack. Ironically, while helping is fox my plumbing. Go figure. So anyway I can post picsx maybe you'll get photo Fridays after all. Hmmmmmmmm

posted from Bloggeroid

A Potato Shitting Fries.

So I saw this image just now and thought it was HILARIOUS!!! ha ha, so I just thought I'd share it with my noggin watchers.

Again, sorry I have completely neglected you. I cant help it, between Tweeter and Facespace and now Google plus five minus 3, I run out of crap to post here.

Just for a recap, I still work at the same place and have no office or computer. I get dirty and my feet hurt. But there is some good news. I got a new phone!

Its a Drooooooooooooooooooo o o o o o o o ii i i i i ii iiiiiiiiii

d dd d d d d d d dd d d d d d dd dd d d d d dd d dd d dd d d dd d d dd d d ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats how they say it on the Verizon commercials right? in that super cool futuristic robot voice. I think the best robot voice ever is Johnny 5 from that Steve Gutenberg movie.

So as it turns out, this was the "droid i was looking for" sorry Ol' Ben your Jedi voodoo wont work on me!

It's fucking rad, Incredible too... too/two haha get it? I can do like 5000000 things on it I couldnt do on the blackberry from 2008. Even possibly post blogs, I'll try that later since typing on the touchscreen is still a bit tricky.

Other than that m'lady finally finished Law school and just took the Bar. so now she gets to think she failed for another 4 months until the results come in. And find a job that pays more than $0.00

I have an art show coming up in my new home town of Pittsburg Ca. its at Steeltown Coffee in famous old town pittsburg. The opening is Sept 18th and everyone who can go, should. and bring hella money because my shits will be for sale.

If you're missing photo Friday... it's now called "posting random pics at random times of the week one at a time on twitter(sometimes lately on Google+ cuz i need to feel cool that im still in the super exclusive beta testing club)" the name isnt as catchy as FotoFriday but It's WAAAYY easier to do because I'm lazy and putting together a whole photoblog post is a pain in the ass now.

check out what you missed if you dont follow me @kirkiscool on twitter. or you do follow me but forgot you had a twitter account because you didnt 'get it' when you signed up 3 years ago.

heres some pictures of shit. yfrog.com/user/kirkiscool/photos

Google+ also happened as I just mentioned. I'm starting to dig it, especially since I have a Google phone now. G+ was absolutely IMPOSSIBLE on Blackberry but now I'm about 97% functional on there. So if you have it, add me to your "Jerks who think theyre cool on the internet" circle.

There's tons of other funny stuff I've said and posted and commented on but that was all on other forementioned Social networking sites. If you missed it, you werent paying attention.

Damn, this blog is becoming a long sad apology for not posting here any more.

now, here's an Android shitting a blackberry.

Aint that Some Shit?

Followers of Sloppy Mind Noggins say: "Hey asshole you should blog more" Hey why don't you follow me on Twitter and stop bitching. I'm @kirkiscool and I tweet like 20 times a day, mostly pictures of the crappy doodles I do on the lunch breaks my arting has been reduced to now.

Yea, I know. You should read this post from a couple months ago http://kirknoggins.blogspot.com/2010/09/bloging.html it pretty much explains it. Anyshoe back to business, as the title says I'm gonna plug some shit.

Since my internet experience is limited to what i can get on my Blackberry I've been listening to stuff.... LOTS of stuff. And since I jumped on the digital music purchase bandwagon I gots some new tunes to jam in the earphones.

Got the new Glassjaw EP. It's pretty awesome but its only like 4 songs so I get bored of it quick.

The new Korn is better than I expected it to be. It was definitely worth the Daily Deal price of 2.99.

The latest offering from Dillinger Escape Plan is more of the same shit since they got the new singer. It's better than the last one tho. I dig it.

Rediscovered my fondness for Drum&Bass music. Picked an album at random essentially and like it alot. its Mr.Kickass by TRS-80. how can you go wrong with an album called Mr.Kickass? you cant. unless you're a member of Black Eyed Peas, Justin Beiber or Taylor Swift, because then you'd just be a fucking liar.

I re-got an album I had back in the early 00's and have since lost called Terraforming by a pretty unknown but completely underrated band, The Postman Syndrome. fuck me that is a rad album. Everthing else by them and some new band they formed after TPS broke up has paled in comparison and I really don't give a shit about it because Terraforming is fucking bad ass like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction.

Got some old Bjork. Bjork is like Beastie Boys status if you know what I mean. so good.

A friend at work burned me couple disks of death metal mp3's. You know I loves me some death metal but out of the 15 or so bands on these CD's I think 2 of them are good. The rest is just the same tired bullshit. So if you dig blast beating cookie monster shit, check out Necrophagist and Jack Slater. But dont ruin them like I did by watching live videos of them on YouTube. what a let down. I had this mental picture in my head of Necrophagist... dude just the name alone conjours visions of long black straight hair, eye makeup and spikey shit on their arms. Fog machines and fake heads impaled on upside down crosses around them on stage... but no, they look like a group of geeks in Meshugga t-shirts who took guitar lessons and play D&D in their parents garage. So when you listen to them, erase what I just told you about them.

I also have been getting into podcasts. I started with the Secret Show. It's Sarah & Vinnie from the Alice morning radio show I've mentioned on the noggins before. They talk about shit they cant on the radio and its pretty funny. If you dont listen to them on the radio normally it might not be as rad, but I'm into it. Alice sucks as a radio station otherwise.

Just started listening to Greg Proops' Smartest Man in The World podcast. He's a smart dude. or at least he uses a lot of big words that makes him sound like it. I like the cut of his jib, and if he posts anything after his last one (March 9th c'mon dude!) I'll listen more for sure.

The first actual podcast I started listening to is the Live Free Podcast by an art acquaintance of mine Mike Maxwell. It's a pretty unique show in that, he interviews other artists and creative types and amongst many other things like MMA, drug culture, spirituality and politics, he discusses art and what it is to be creative. He's up to like 40 interviews with creative people in his very casual and conversational style including the likes of Mike Giant(mike giant), Shaney Jo Darden(keep-a-breast), Alex Pardee(Sucker Punch) and John Trippe(fecalface.com). I'm hooked and hate it when he lags on posting because his feet hurt from his stupid ninja lessons or whatever.

so that's whats in my ears lately. if you have any suggestions let me know.

Other than that, I'm trying to get some work from a well known skateboard company. We're in talks. It's mostly me replying 1000 times to their one email. whatever. I also have an art show. yea dude. It's in september at Steeltown Coffee & tea in Pittsburg. (no H) I haven't painted shit for it and I'm kinda nervous because its gonna be up for 3 months in a place of business. I'm not saying i have to compromise my style but it's gotta be appropriate for a coffee shop in the middle of town. I see it as a challenge i guess.

Oh yea in case you cheap fucks forgot, I am still have hella crap on the internet for sale.

T-shirts - http://www.redbubble.com/people/kirksucks

My Book - http://www.lulu.com/browse/search.php?search_forum=-1&search_cat=2&show_results=topics&return_chars=200&search_keywords=&keys=&header_search=true&search=&locale=&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=&fListingClass=0&fSearch=Bad+Cellphone+Photos+of+Questionable+Sketches+%26+Doodles&fSubmitSearch.x=0&fSubmitSearch.y=0

My fonts - http://www.dafont.com/kirk-shelton.d2008

and as always

My Skateboards - http://www.galleryskates.com/

Also, click that fucking Google Ad shit so i can get some revenue. otherwise its just annoying and pointless.

Please support me. that would be rad. thanks.

PS: Go Giants. oh yea and while were talking about the World Champion San Francisco Giants, I need to point out that they aren't winning very many games so far this season. I blame Brian Wilson's fucking retarded-ass beard. It was cool last year because he's a wild card and it was the post season and everything but dude, its 2011, you started the season on the DL, and your team isnt winning. Time to let it go holmes. On the other hand, loving the Zito mustache, keep that train rolling.

OPEN SIGN - Art on First Napa Ca.

this is my piece for:

" a faux store that sold only OPEN signs, as if the will to attract more businesses to First Street would emanate from my storefront. I looked at historic photographs of Napa—when signs jutted out over bustling streets—recalling a more flourishing era. I turned to 20 local artists to create one-of-a-kind OPEN signs demonstrating the importance of artists’ role in revitalizing this city. I also borrowed antique signs from collectors and flea markets to honor the past, and from professional sign makers at New Bohemia Signs in San Francisco. All are available for purchase to support the artists."

Contributing Artists

Oscar Aguilar, AKO, Bill Concannon, Hugo Corro, Olivia Everett, Tracy Fitzgerald, Peter Hassen, Cheryl Laube, Mark Mattioli, New Bohemia Signs, Marcus Collar, Manda Moon Reyes, Valerie Raven, Susan Sharman, Tim Sharman, Chris Ford, Marie Shelly, Kirk Shelton, Marnie Spencer, Thea Witsil, Melissa Baker, Mercedes Baker, Daithi"

As Part of:

Motherfuckingshitasspisscrotch

Hey people of internet land. Sorry for the hiatus. I don't use the internet that much anymore. A few posts ago I explained why. Anyway, here's some crap that's been bugging me. Bitch rant rant bitch....

Verizon iPhone.
Ok, so verizon, welcome to the iphone party. Only a couple years too late. I know ATT had a monopoly on iphone but now that you've convinced your loyal customers that they don't need an iphone, and got em all sucking the Droid teet your gonna dangle last years phone in front of us and act like its a big deal. And while Sprint and even ATT, who HAS the iphone already gets new blackberry models and you keep peddling droids and 2009 blackberrys.

And for yet another eff you to your customers you insult us with this 'phone buy-back iphone' deal. Ok you'll give me $200 for the droidX you finally convinved me to not bail out of my contract (and go to att for an iphone) and get. But only if I buy a new VZW iPhone. Sounds like a good deal. What's the new 2 year contract price for that, arounf $200 right? So I'd break even, thanks for looking out verizon.WRONG! You get to use that measly $200 you sold your brand new (retail $800 or so) DroidX for towards the full retail price of that hot new VZW iPhone. So now, you gotta still spend like $500 or whatever it is to get a new iphone. I'm going to sprint, fuck verizon and fuck the iPhone.

Comcastic.
Look I get it that you have awesome OnDemand and killer high speed internet but don't fuck with me and give me a sweet deal for 6 months. 6 months aint shit. Tell me WTF its gonna be for the rest of the time. When you say "introductory rate" that just means "were gonna fuck you in 6 months". That's why I like my sub-par Dish Network, because its the same price as comcast's intro rate...but its forever.

Beat your kids.
That's right I said it. Kids today have no fear. My generation got beat. While it was starting to be frowned upon, parents didn't give a fuck for the most part. the next generation after that didn't get beat as much, but enough that the threat was real. But now? Now kids know they can't get beat. They know what CPS is. They know parents can't do shit. You can ground them and take shit away but that just breeds rebellion. I could go onto a whole other rant about how materialistic kids are but I won't.

Kids need the shit beat out of them. Like a bully in school needs to have his ass kicked for once. They need to know that there is a real, primal, physical consequence for being little fucking assholes.

Redbox and Netflix
Netflix is great but the new releases take forever to get in the mail and the instant viewing is good but it doesn't have new releases. So fuck what do you do? Hollywood is closed and Blockbuster charges like 100 to rent a damn movie. I found Redbox. Fucking cool service. Everything was going awesome until last night. I got Despicable Me on blueray and when the machine spit it out, there was no dvd in the box. I was a photocopy of the dvd. Clever theives right? Fuck me. So I had to call the 800 number and wait on hold for a while. They straightned me out but what a pain in my ass. Mother fucking crooks. So watch out for that shit if you go to redbox.

Ok that's it. Happy new year. And gung ho fat choy too I guess. Out with Tiger, in with Rabbit.

Maybe I'll get chinese food tonight.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

New Xmas tee available!!!

remember 20% OFF on white tees till xmas!!

CLICK HERE!!!

20% off my T-shirts for Xmas!!!

Well, now that it's almost Thanksgiving and all of the tootsie rolls from the leftover Halloween candy have finally been eaten, its that time of year to start thinking about Christmas.

I have two Xmas designs I did last year and more to come for 2010. Get em while their thawing out from last Christmas!!

and as a bonus, all of my shirts, if you buy them on a white T-shirt are 20% OFF!! until Dec 25th.

no promo code needed, just pick white.

thanks guys.

check out my shirts now! <--this is a link, click it!

dont forget the SF Giants gear while the world series afterglow is still warm.

(thanks to everyone who bought the MiSFits shirt...selling like hotcakes)