Hey, Assholes: Photo Friday.

 Here's a splattery cumshot of photos.  Nothing is in chronological order. 

Benny got big.  

Birds

I drew in my sketchbook that I had to find for a "Drunk & Draw" event at a bar. 

'Tilda tillin'  

Grr Norman. (More about that later) 

Benny & Norman. 
Norman's first walk outside. 

Painted a couple of skateboards for the SkateboardArt Charity Show

ahhoooooo basset sticker! 

Fucking amazing carpet in this old victorian Open house that we popped into

Norman!

So that iPad I ended up getting, I finally got a compatible Apple Pencil and I've been using it. Made this digital painting. 

Sunny nap time. 

New band, Northern Blight had a show. 

Made with the iPad! 

Norman. 

Benny (note the drool) 

Sleepy time 

Baby Norman after we picked him up.  From fucking Madera. 

Pencil doodle of an old lady from the future. 

Frankenstien. Derping it up. 

Bruce went over the rainbow bridge.  RIP sticky boo-boo jam hands.
this is what led to us getting Norman.  

Got new heads on this kit.  I had the same old heads on it from like 2001

Franks and Benny

Franks and our friend's puppy, Obi-wan-Potato 

Severance Premier Waffle Party.  Praise Kier. 

I Went to Taco Bell. Society is Doomed.

Inside Taco Bell. I've been here for a few minutes but I ordered on the app before I left work. I see these boomer ladies waltz in, take forever to use the kiosk and then two seconds later they're yelling at the staff asking for their food. Obviously it wasn't ready and I could hear them scoffing and complaining under their breath. They just left and got in their car and drove off. WTF? 

They saw all the finished orders on the counter

and asked any of them were theirs. He said they were for the drive thru. OMG I hope they didn't go into the drive thru. 

There was a guy sitting in there with me for around five minutes and after seeing several people ask for orders by name he realizes he didn't put a name in on his kiosk order.  Apparently he chose cash payment but hadn't even paid yet. Poor staff there must have to explain Taco Bell to at least 40 people a day. While they're explaining the cash order thing a young woman comes in without noticing the ten people already here with no food cuts in front of me and a door dasher and demands to the guy behind the counter "order for Sarah?". He frantically checks "I don't see anything for Sara" because she probably just ordered it in the parking lot before she walked in.  

How do these people survive life ?

Apple I'm trying to like you but you make it so damn hard.

So now that the free iPad arrived that frankly I feel like I earned. No, paid for in the grief that horrible company gave me, I decided to try to actually use it.

I've never owned an iPhone or iPad so this operating system is all new to me but I know a lot of people use them for artwork. I've been using my Samsung Galaxy phone for most of my digital drawing and it's fine but I am always hearing about the proprietary art application, Procreate. I see people using the famous Apple Pencil and saying how amazing it all is. Now that I have an iPad I could see what the grass was like on the other side of the fence.  So I went looking for a an Apple Pencil.  My friend had a second generation Apple Pencil she didn't use and let me try it out but it wouldn't work which had me Googling and I found that the model of iPad I have while new, it's not the greatest which means I cant use the newer and fancier Apple Pencils on it. Only the 1st generation and the USBC version are compatible with my iPad. So as one does, I skipped the Gen1 and went straight for the newer of the two. I never thought to check if the specs included pressure sensitivity or not... I just assumed.. you know because the free stick of thin plastic that came with and lives inside my Samsung phone has pressure sensitivity that the luxury brand, $80 Apple Pencil would have it..... NOPE. Why does this even exist? Why would you NOT have that feature in a premium writing/drawing device? Apparently the Gen1 does and all of the other ones do but the USBC version does not? I'm actually angry.

my phone with it's S-Pen

So to get what comes standard on the S-Pen which I think comes with most compatible Galaxy devices (also the pen that came with my Surface Pro has pressure sensitivity) I have to fork out $100. A hundred friggin dollars for something that came out in 2015 –just so I can properly draw on this damn thing. And since the 1st gen Pencil uses an Apple Lightning port to charge I will have to buy an adapter.

I was just ranting out loud to my coworker and jokingly exaggerated a guess "an Apple USBC adapter is probably like $30!" but then I googled it and holy shit it is 30 fucking dollars.

And for the 20 mins or so I was trying to use it to draw I noticed that the tip is hard-as-fuck plastic.  Writing or drawing with a hard plastic tip on hard glass is not pleasurable.  For the first several Galaxy Note phones the S-Pen came with extra tips.  A couple hard ones and a couple soft rubber ones.  I always used the rubber ones.  And with my newest phone they only came with rubber. Because they figured out nobody likes the hard ones.  So for Apple to charge that much and not even include alternate or extra tips is fucking bullshit.  

I've always hated iPhones and iPads mostly because I've never really used one and every time I've tried I get frustrated.  It's mostly Android fan-boy bias but after this experience I'm starting to feel justified.  The USBC Apple Pencil not having the same basic features as the generation before it just should not exist. And yes, pressure sensitivity is a basic-ass feature any officially branded stylus should have. There's 1000 knock offs on Amazon that are basically the same thing as the USBC Apple Pencil in functionality for $10. I bought one and returned it because it didn't have the pressure sensitivity. I was like OK then I guess I'll have to fork over the $$ to Apple to get the real shit and then I get it and it's useless garbage.  This only makes me hate Apple even more.  I tried to like you but you just make it so damn hard, Apple.  

So now I'm like do I even try?  Do I just return this USBC Pencil and try to sell the iPad?  I feel like an entire portion of the population is being gaslit by Apple to think they're good but they're not.  

Changing Internet Providers Part 3

Go back and check out the first two installments of my saga of trying to switch internet providers. 

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

It's basically about how fucking shitty Optimum is.  Immediately after cancelling my service I got emails with offers to stay, several things in the mail trying to get me to come back but I just threw them out.  Then I got this text message

Praying hands emoji?  oh man.  Then the next option is STOP with a broken heart emoji.  These fuckers are desperate and it's almost embarrassing.  I haven't gotten a text or anything from them since.  Well that's not true.  In part two, I mention how I was supposed to get a free iPad when I signed up and the rep said I needed to stay with them another month and even offered 2 free months to stay but after 45 mins on the phone I just didn't care anymore and said I didn't want it.  Well yesterday I had a package on my porch.  It was nothing I was actually expecting... it's the free iPad!  

The box has a bunch of optimum mobile promo material in it so I was like low key afraid to turn it on in case it's automatically signed up for a free month of mobile account I have to opt out of. I turned off all the cellular connections and so far, so good.  This company sucks so hard I would not be surprised.  

That dude on the phone totally lied to me and said I wouldn't get it unless I stayed signed up longer.  But that's what they do they fucking lie.  Since the first time I called them to the last time I talked to them before cancelling.  I'll say this again.  Their service is fine.  It was fast enough to do what I wanted.  Everything worked.  But they fucking lie.  They jack up your rates. There's gigabites of horror stories on the Optimum subreddit about how they go out of their way to be shitty when they don't have to.  Just stop being a shitty company. Give people a normal rate so they don't call mad at you for jacking their price just so you can just give them a great deal again.   There's this poor guy Randy who posts from Optimum offering help but the people have turned on him.  

Get outta there, Randy!  

Hopefully this is the end of my saga.  I'm waiting to see if they try to take another auto-payment out of my bank account.  But I hope this is the end.  

I changed Internet Providers Part II

You may remember back in Dec I decided to start the journey of getting off ATT and trying the new Vero Fiber service who are the first fiberoptic ISP available to the general public in my area. Ever.  Unfortunately I had to go to the butthole of local ISP's, Optimum in the meantime.  Well the day has finally arrived!  Huzzah!  This morning in a pleasant and fairly painless process, Vero Fiber was installed. They didn't even try to upsell me into a router I didn't need because he told me the Netgear router he noticed there was better than the one he brought. A shit company like Optimum would probably lie and make me pay monthly for a router I didn't need. So the next phase was to cancel Optimum. I've heard horror stories and frankly fully expected it to be a chore to do but dumping ATT actually was pretty smooth. They basically were like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and just told me when my last day would be.  So I wondered naively if the stories I'd heard were blown out of proportion. Well, let me tell you that just spent 40 mins on phone with this woman who's name I forget with a delightful, thick and vaguely Asian accent on a phone connection that let me hear myself talk a second after I said something. Which isn't very reassuring for a communications technology company. But before we even got into it she needed my account access code which is on my bill.. which I don't have because I'm paperless..which was a whole other fucked up situation from before. Anyway, now I have to log into my account on their website which for some reason the password I had saved is no longer correct. So while I'm on the phone with her I'm having to do the whole "forgot my password" shit. She keeps telling me "sir it's on the top corner of your bill" I swear this is done by them to make me want to give up on cancelling. Finally I find the code and then It went something like this:

Lady: "Can I ask why you want to cancel your service?"

Me: "I just want to"
Lady: "can you tell me what is the reason?"
Me, already flabbergasted: "do I have to tell you?"
Lady: "I only ask because I see you have a really excellent promotion with us now I am wondering why do you want to leave"
Me: "I just want to leave and try something different"
Lady: "we will give you a month for free"
Me: "I don't want it. No thank you"
Lady: "BUT IT FREE WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE?!!"
She couldn't understand why anyone could possibly turn down something that was free. She pushed me to this.
Me: "it's my right to not want to do business with your company"
Lady irritated: "BUT SIR ITS FREE SERVICE"
Me. it started to get personal "YOUR WIRES ARE RIPPED OUT OF MY WALLS. THE ROUTER IS IN THE BOX READY TO BE SENT BACK. I NO LONGER WANT YOUR SERVICE"
Lady: "....but sir it's a free promotion you dont have to be paying anything for one month..."

OMG! My coworker in the next office could hear me and was laughing. After another 20 mins of this back and forth, sounding defeated, she pauses for a few seconds and finally says she's transferring me to someone to terminate my service. While on hold but she pops back in every 40 seconds or so "I'm still working on this please hold for a few more mins and I'll be right back" She does this like 5 more times. I swear they do this on purpose so I have time to think about missing out on the sweet offer I passed up on. Finally get to the next person who's supposed to finalize my cancelation. Now at this point I've given up on ever seeing the free iPad I was supposed to get when I signed up but to fuck with them I ask about it. Of course he tries to sweeten the deal. 2 months free plus 3 years of $20/mo locked in with no contract. "and that way you can still get that free iPad" I really don't need or want an iPad but I mean that IS a sweet deal. Here's the thing tho; if this company would just have a decent fair price that didn't go up every year for no reason and just like, not be a shitty, lying, piece of shit company then maybe people wouldn't be immediately jumping onto the first legitimate competitor they've had in over a decade here. He signed off the call by trying to sell me their cellular phone service. Yea, no. Fuck off, Optimum. Here's to Vero hopefully not turning into a shitty, greedy fuckjob of a company. Who am I kidding, this is Trump's America. Go to PART 3 Part one

Nobody Likes Photo Fridays Anymore

 I don't care!  Here's some eye-viagra.  

First some recent political cartoons I made.  Because fuck if I'm not inspired by rage. 

Trump's reaction to the S. Korean president just sicking the military on the people when he didn't get his waye. 

Elect a King, get his Jesters. 

Fuck CEOs of Insurance Companies.  Fuck them all. 

ok now actual photos. 

Interesting finds at the Church yard-sale. 

Did another Pastels On The Plaza!  

Bruce the shark. 

Went in for a sleep study.  Did not see snake man. 

you what? 

Benny got de-nutted. 

our Halloween decor. 

4 Cats on her. 

Remember that joke about forgetting the batteries I made a long time ago? 
Saw this and chuckled a little. (it means diarrhea)

This is most likely Bruce's last xmas.  :-(

BIRD

Old filter makes me look like my dad.  

After the election I needed some god damn cheer. 

recommend. 

2 months later... 

So ready for my Season 2 Premier Waffle Party 

I added more stuff to my Redbubble.com store.  Link/Ad in the sidebar. 

_____________

Tiny pepperoni on tiny pizza makes it look like I shrunk down a regular pizza. 

CUDDLE PUDDLE!! 

We got 3rd rate horror movie NOSTERAFU 
(hint: it's spelled wrong on the marquee)

Don't forget. 

It was put a plunger on your head day.