Jul 13, 2007

cheee chee chee chee ... ahh ahh ahh ahh ...

the title is supposed to be the sound you hear when Jason Vorhees comes on screen. you know, in the movie Friday the 13th.. because you know, It IS Friday the 13th. I'd like to say i planned something special for the blog in honor of this special day but all i got is "cheee chee chee chee ... ahh ahh ahh ahh"

speaking of special day tho. dont forget "BOY WILL BE BOYS" is tonite at the shakey hand gallery. come look at and possibly buy some of my artwork. I dont think i promoted as much this time.. i hope its good. above is the write up i got in East Bay Express.

ok douche lickers. heres this weeks photos.




if you look close, its a humming bird.

georgie McDrool had a growth removed out of his mouth the other day.


so fucked. this little market has a coffee machine with a fresh pot of coffee in plain sight on the sales floor... with this sign above it.










the boat in the pic is what those pieces of wood in the water used to be. got stuck there in like 18oo something and caught fire at some point. its been there ever since. we call this the "burnt boat beach" some crazy dude lived on it in the 70's i think and would shoot at people who tried to come near the boat.





Ronald McDonald is like the ultimate friend. he has a scooter AND a drumset. c'mon thats just rad. not to mention the sweet Happy Meal hook up he has



these guys were collecting cardboard from our dumpster. we dont care, but for some reason they got rolled on, and seriously hassled by the cops.
with a fucking camera phone!! Hey National Geographic... whats up?



ok thats it. SEE YOU TONIGHT AT MY ART SHOW!!! SHAKEY HAND GALLERY ON MAIN ST. 6:00-8:00 BE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!

www.shakeyhandgallery.com

Jul 11, 2007

"you must be EXTREMELY attractive"

One of the ugliest men in show business sang the lyrics "What would you do if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?" back then, maybe, people had a much higher standard of music back then. Now days it wouldnt matter because he'd be good enough looking and have such rad dance moves that his lyrics and voice wouldnt matter. On top of that he'd be lip syncing or singing under prerecorded backing vocal tracks.

My point is, today, vocal, instrumental and lyrical talent doesnt matter. its all about the image.

The reason i bring this up is because a friend of mine was looking to start an all female rock band and posted an ad up online. In my Boycott The Music Industry blog i posted one of the responses from a guy from an "Established L.A. based entertainment company" . It encapsulates one of the things that are very wrong with music industry today.

After he name drops a handfull of major networks, film companies and magazines, (of course no record companies after this was an ad for a band right?) he proceeds to ooze slime with every keystroke. here are some excerpts;

  • "The only pre-requisite is that you must be EXTREMELY attractive, a beautiful face and Magnificent body, as this is the current wave in all areas of the entertainment industry." he carefully follows this statement assuring her that this isnt for any X-rated or Adult work. also note that none of the 'pre-requisites' are musical ability.
  • "If you are a female actress, model, vocalist, musician, or dancer, and you feel you meet our pre-requisite and standards, and you are interested, please e-mail Photos (at least one head shot and one body shot, although a few of each would be preferred)" is there a casting couch involved?
  • the fact is that business is business, and there is a reason why there are no new Aretha Franklins and Mellissa Ethridges bursting on to the scene. Even people that talented would not get record deals today, but there are many young ladies with a fraction of Aretha's voice, signing multi-million dollar deals, because of their face and body. and because you're a fucking douche bag perpetuating this kind of attitude in the music industry.
  • I cannot change society, or what the masses at large want, the reason labels look for beauty, is because it sells, and it sells because that is what people want.
who else wants to punch this guy in the throat? whats most fucked up is that he's right. This is the sad state of the music industry. It may not 100% reflect what the masses want tho. But even if that is what the masses want... the masses are stupid by design. they've been conditioned. if you dont give them a choice of real talent they will pick the good looking hack.

Look back to the 70's ... real song writers with great songs making hits that become classics. and they were UGLY! but it didnt matter. it was music.

the industry is insulting us by giving us vacuous celebrity with nothing to offer but eye candy thinking thats all we will accept. There's room for heart throbs but dont confuse pretty faces with talented artists.

Douche bags like this need to be stabbed in the crotch by scorpions.

if you want to read the full email check out my Boycott The Music Industry blog at boycottthemusic.blogspot.com

Jul 6, 2007

oops i crapped my pants

its friday but for some reason it feels like tuesday. I get to set up my art show tonite. funz
here's some lame photos.
GO!


because you ghetto mother fuckers cant not stab someone for one night a year.
way to go oakland!


this is wee me at weeworld.com

suzisuzu goes to heaven

this shirt doesnt say it but the font implies a .."fuck yea"


you ever wonder where all those white trash people get their retarded america shirts?
Longs in martinez has them. as well as truck stops across this great nation of ours.
what the fuck is this shirt? lol


they have pet gravestones at Navalet's Nursery



Benicia used to be the state capital before the governor realised BENICIA SUCKS A DICK!
this and many other Martinez Ca. wearables available at cafepress.com/mtz


these are my new bandmates
Dustin and Jesse
we tried out a bass player last night but he was gay.




ok fuck off now. this heat is killing me.

Jul 5, 2007

Happy Fourth Of July

AMERICA...

...FUCK YEA!!!

and i quote..
"the greatest moment in the history of American sports"

Jul 3, 2007

look who's famous again!

that's right.. East Bay Express did another interview with me. This time about my upcoming art show at Shakey Hand Gallery with Bryan Blanco and Garret Bock.
From East Bay Express

He's Still All Boy
Artist Kirk Shelton blows Jessica Simpson’s cover.
By Rachel Swan
Machine guns and Lamborghinis provided early inspiration for Martinez sketchbook artist Kirk Shelton, who says he started drawing as soon as he could hold a pencil. Around fourth or fifth grade he fell in love with skateboard graphics like skulls and eyeballs, and drew them with a fervor he later applied to heavy metal regalia - more intricate skulls with thicker outlines, along with severed limbs and things getting blown up and stuff. Now thirty, Shelton has designs on professional painting. His drawings have gotten a lot more ambitious, though most of them haven't lost his characteristic sass - the rather cryptic caricature Jessica Simpson Is a Man came from a cover of a celebrity gossip rag. In the drawing she has a grotesque, aquiline nose and pronounced chin cleft, and looks a little like a noble bald eagle. "I was trying to exaggerate her manly features," Shelton says, pointing out the obvious. He still draws plenty of eyeballs.

Shelton's newest work is in Boys Will Be Boys, which also features pieces by Bryan Blanco and Garret Bock. The show's marquee features graphics from all three: Bock's GI Joe character with a thought bubble imagining all the pretty, bikini-clad groupies he'll have if he comes home in one piece; Blanco's cartoon sketch of three boys in animal costumes; and Shelton's Garbage Pail Kid-style drawing of a guy tearing the head off a little girl's Barbie. Shelton says he's not exactly sure if doll decapitation is a common practice for boys. "I think it was taken from my girlfriend," the artist admits. "Her older sister used to torment her by destroying all her Barbie dolls." Through August 13 at Martinez' Shakey Hand Gallery. ShakeyHandGallery.com

July 13, 6-8 p.m.
hell's yea. i hate getting quoted because its always out of context. or maybe i just really do sound like an asshole.

you should come.

Jul 2, 2007

"The Siimpsonnns"

well, its officially official. The Simpsons movie has moved from rumor to complete denial and finally to fact. And the marketing has begun. usually i hate marketing but theyre doing something pretty rad. They're turning select 7-11's into Kwik-E-Marts. I first heard about this about a year ago and figured they'd fuck it up but they've done a cool job. my only complaint is that the closest one is in fucking Mountain View.

here's a ficker page for the Burbank one. links on the side for others including the Mountain View one if you feel so inclined.
http://flickr.com/photos/rdr07/sets/72157600590001691/



The simpsons movie official website has an avatar creator thing that kind of sucks unless you have photoshop. and here's my version of me if i was on the Simpsons. I had to add the hat, beard, hoodie and modified shoes in photoshop. no hats? no facial hair? good thing the 7-11's dont suck or i'd be kind of upset. hat and no hat versions. enjoy!