We lost Sandra Cantu, and found a stinky dead baby whale instead.

Sucks. I hope they find Sandra Cantu, that shit is weird. There's surveilance footage of her just leaving her house, now, she's been missing for 5 days. I think the Karate guy did it.

And now, there's a dead baby whale that washed up in Santa Cruz. They towed it out to sea but it came back and its stinking up the place. I say, use dynamite.

here's your friday pictures.

rock out

remember this old thing?

coming soon to PAWNSHOP skateboards

Dr.Chimpy, speech therapist.

Mr.Krinkle, secret agent.

Dios Mio

the cup on the left is for Cow milk. the cup on the right, for Giraffe milk

"heavy metal death machine"

stale fish sweeglie

we're fucked!

I had this idea, I want to replace the word "CAUTION" on stuff with "Hey Stupid"
that's basically what they're saying.

meow

I dont think this is a prune tree, but i pruned it anyway.

I love this cup. "OH MYLANTA!"

This is what Monday looked like. TGIF.

have a good weekend, sorry bout the April fools joke. SUCKERS!! H AHA HA HAH AHA A HAH A!!!!!!!!!!!!

The oldest trick in the book.

As if I'd really shut down the noggins for some bullshit like that.

Only 4 comments? you guys either dont love me, or knew it was a joke. Anyway I hope that people come back to see that this was actually an April fools joke. doh.

Good-bye Cruel World

Effective today I've decided to shut down the Noggins for good. Since I linked it to my regular website I've been getting a lot of negative feedback from potential clients who dont agree with my opinions and foul language. Usually I'd just say FUCK YOU but I've lost out on a couple of really cool opportunities.

I could just stop linking it from my website but It's made me reflect on what the hell kind of internet footprint I'm leaving. It sucks but we all gotta grow up some time.

Thanks for all the memories and laughs. I'm going to reinstate the basic blog I used to have on my site and just update my artish doings from now on.

It sucks but whatever.

Send your good-bye wishes and other crap in the comments. I'll be checking it the rest of this week and then shutting the Noggins down for good next Monday.

here's some photos to remember me by.

LATER!
don't forget to comment.

Paula Abdul's Mustache and hyphens.

Another Friday. Who's watching American Idol? Who else hates that Meagan Joy (aka Megan Corkery) what the fuck is up with the name change? and what the fuck is up with her stupid little shimmy she does for EVERY FUCKING SONG? I call it the CorkScrew.. except now she's changed her name so its not as relevant. She's giving full sleeve tattoos a bad name. GO HOME. America, stop voting for her.

Matt G. who is legit was in the bottom 2 last night. Seacrest asked Randy why he thinks America voted that way. I wanted him to say "Because America are fucking stupid ass-fucked morons Ryan" but he didnt.

anyway, here's some eyeball massage.

As if I needed more evidence of how brain-raped america is... look at this loveley urban culture spill-over. GRILLZ candy. 2 wrongs dont make a right.

I drew a rat. Inspired by Bobby.

fancy Thai menus. pretty rad-tacular.
(note: there were no photos)

Ok, FUCK YOU BAY ST. I've pretty much hated this bull-shit mall since it opened. Everything here is overpriced and they make you pay for parking. Then I see this...
NO you fuckers.. $2 parking is NOT a god-damned bargain. FREE parking is a fucking bargain. shove it up your ass BAY st!

Inspired by Spring. and anti-histamines

This sign was a fucking piece of work. It was at a fancy Sonoma Winery. You'd think they could pay someone to make a fucking sign. Instead, take a 72dpi 20 pixel wide clip art .gif and stretch it to fit an 8.5 x 11" frame. I know it was a .gif because they actually printed the file name with the image. That's why it looks like Johnny 5 shit it out of his anal-fax machine.

Stalefish sent me some swag! Deck and 2 Hoodies!

This is Tom. He's thinking about getting into Cock-Fighting. Dont judge him.
(jokes)

Speaking of HANDICAP. I didnt create this, or photo-graph it. I found it on the net. But it is fucking rad and I wanted to share it with you.

Here's some more LOST-Related photoshop goofs.

Jack was assigned to "The Shed" in the episode before last.

Sawyer completely loses his vision in the year 3000
wheel-of-misfortune

ok that's all i got. taco to you later.

Jack's Back

So yea, Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid are back on the island. but its 1977. last night's ep kinda sucked.

time travel sucks too.
and before you say anything, Ben can't die.
the rules wont allow it
rule #1: what happens, happens.
rule #2: if what happened doesnt happen, time will course correct.
rule #3: see rule #1.

its dumb but that's whats been established by Mrs.Hawking and Daniel Faraday. Basically, you cant change history, if you try, time will make sure it happens how it did.
it doesnt really make sense, but those are the rules we've been dealt. So, to recap, if Sayid kills kid Ben, the universe will implode into itself.

Spring is in the air.

...and in my lungs and throat and nose and eyes.. I fucking hate spring.

Dont do meth, or your mom will turn into a bad Alice Cooper impersonator.
(as seen on A&E's Intervention)

This is what I'm talking about. WINN CO is cheaper than the suggested discount price advertised on the bag.

el gato, creepin.

the douche owner of our company bought a 15 foot stallion statue for his ranch and had it delivered to my work. I wish i had a ranch. I have an idea where you can spend that blow-it-on-statues money.

Yea.. LOST.. i dunno man. You've got me hooked now reel me in.

Sliders Humor!

new font.

I shaved my beard. I think it makes me look fatter tho. whatta you think?

I drew a Saturn and a Tranny.

I hate to end on that note, but that's all I gots.
happy spring, have a good one.

15 Minutes

Well, it appears that my 15 Minutes of internet fame is over. A new batch of fonts came out on Dafont.com, thus pushing Pee Pants Script off the main page and into obscurity on page 13. and its not even in the top 100. I wonder how dafont calculates the top 100. It's gotta be frequency of DL's per day or something because overnight some font no one's ever heard of is #1... much like my font was. I still have 140,763 total downloads. and 518 DL's from yesterday aint bad. It's not 6000 daily, but its something.

this is the activity chart for kirkshelton.com as of today. so sad. If you still happen to stumble on me randomly and end up reading this, thanks for the good times!



I'm working on several more fonts. Hopefully they'll be good.... er... I mean, hopefully the luck of the draw will let them end up on the top of the main page of dafont.com and I'll get famous again.