Nov 25, 2008

Un-Fortune Cookie

Got this after some Lemon Chicken and steamed rice...

It's gonna be a LONG week.

see you friday.

Nov 24, 2008


The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites

This is shocking. I thought for sure I'd be up there.

well, here's to more cum fucking, ass sucking, cock shitting, crotch assing, fuck bitching, hole cocking, bitch cunting in the future.

eat my fucking shit.

Dream a little Dream

I haven't dreamed much since moving to my new place, but I had a couple this weekend.

I dreamed that i was working on the docks and this crazy ghost freight ship rolled in with no crew. I remember being creeped out because i had just seen some thing about a missing freighter and the numbers on it matched up. then i woke up.

I dreamed that I found out that my friend's ex had done porn. (in real life she's totally not like that) I was tripping out but everyone knew but me. and no on thought it was a big deal. it was weird. my friend was like "yea, she's been known to take of her clothes for the media" I was like, "full-on penetration porn or just like a topless calendar?" then another friend of hers was like, we have a few of her movies you wanna see? then i woke up.

I dreamed that I was at my parents house and my old friend i used to be in a band with showed up. He had his guitar and shit so I was like "hey i have my drums in my car outside lets jam!" but when I went out there, my car was turned sideways halfway down the driveway. and the side sliding door (which my Xb doesnt have) was torn right off and laying on the ground. also the front passenger seat was ripped out and on the ground too. but worst of all, my drums were gone! I was devastated and I woke up all pissed off.

anyway, not too wild but I guess I'm finally getting some good sleep. or not.

Nov 21, 2008

Just got back from the dentist, uh huh.

I went for a cleaning around mid October and my doc found some decay under an old filling on my lower molar.

I went back a week later to get it taken care of and for some reason he couldnt hit the sweet spot with the anesthetic so I had to reschedule and go home with ground beef in the back of my gums and a face that was numb everywhere but my tooth.

Another week later I go back and its basically the same shit over again. He's baffled and I can sort of tell he was a little ashamed of himself and his lack of ability to hit my dental G-spot. again, hamburger helper face makes another appt.

now its today, he used a different type of stuff and let me have it like it was prom night. I waited, just like last time and watched CNN. My tongue and lower lip started to tingle... could it be? it's working! So Candido tests with cold water and air.. so far, so good.. get out the Dremmel.

As he's I'm astonished that I cant feel it. then about 2 minutes in.. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

oh fuck me!!! Once he got through the old filling layer I could feel everything. CROTCH SUCKER!

So he jabbs the needle a few more times for good measure and sits me in front of Kyra Phillips and watched her talk about the economy for a second time. Doc comes back in a few different times to check on me but still my tounge feels the same.

Eventually, since I already have a hole in my tooth, I decided to just say fuck it and finish what I went there for. He said he only had a little bit to go to get the decay out so i just gritted my teeth. (that figure of speech really doesn't work here does it?) and took the pain like a new inmate at a max-security prison.

It was rough but we got it done. we high fived when it was finally over.

On my way home I new i was hungry but needed something mushy... thats when I did the unthinkable sin.

I went to Quiznos. My arch enemy (arch is a pun figure that out) to get some soup. here I am spurping out the right side of my mouth and feeling like I just gave oral sex to my best friends mom so she wouldnt tell my parents that she caught us smoking in the basement over summer vacation.

tastes about the same too.

Like a deer in the headlights baby!

Another song stuck in my head. cookie if you can name that tune.

also, the mall still sucks.

anyway, here's imagery...

still paintin'

still getting my name wrong

still dead
(old ass cemetary in Black Diamond Mines Regional Preserve)

still commuting :(

still going to work

and here's some arty farty for ya.

coming soon from Old Man Army

ok thats all. I have another wedding to attend, so .. goodbye beardy

Nov 14, 2008

It's not funny, my ass is on fire...

Hey, its friday. some dude was in line behind me at mcdiesel this morning hella drunk or high or something. he kept mumbling shit like "though dis was fast food... what be takin so long" then he burped, then he burped again wich turned into a rendition of the Jeffersons theme song. Buuooooorr-ouvin' on up ... Movin on u-up to the eeezt syde." then he bitched some more, then he recited the whole first 2 verses. Even tho he was behind me in line, he got his food right away, which i think was to get rid of him faster. while I waited I could hear him in the back of the place yelling and being hella loud. Moovin on uuup!

so yea, here's this week's visual regurgitation.

waiting for meg at bart, in the dark with a sharpie


roots, theone on the left tasted like Vicks Vapo-rub.


rapping turkey

top secret OMA art.

\/click for big /\

this was on a tote bag.. it's a Deutsche Bag! lol

this bunny shits on my lawn.

home-made, by me


ok, so when the Bell, introduced the new value menu, 79-89-99 they had a ton of great deals. but now, as the popularity of certain items increases, they move these off the value menu and charge more for them. It's totally fucked. Now Taco bell costs me $12. But what is really irritating is that the 79 cent menu, the one they're touting here on the drive thru window, now consists of 2 things. a cheese wrap and a cinnimon twists. seriously? lame.

That's why I go to Winnco! they have "Savin' on lock, 24-7.

ok that's it, dont flush your cat litter. spay and neuter your pets, dont chew tin foil, dont fy bacon naked.

have a gread day!

Nov 10, 2008

one and-a two and-a boom chick-a

happy monday

Lafayette Reservoir

OK fuck this place. Meg woke me up saturday and wanted to hike/walk Black Diamond Trails since its by my new house.. but it wasn't open yet.

We'd heard from hella people that the Lafayette Reservoir was the cats pajamas so we decided to huck out there for a morning nature walk.

we get there and its a fucking pay-to-get-in ($6) gated fucking park. so we put an hour's worth of quarters ($1) into the meter and park in the metered parking. The place was packed at 8am on a Saturday. We get down to the trail and its a fucking 2 lane paved people road. Not what I want for a nature walk.
i'm sure "similar conveyances" implies skateboards and segways but i find it interesting/refreshing they dont pick on us specifically.

wait, oh shit i just read the fine print.. assholes!

what's extra lame is that theres actually exceptions and times allowed for the giant X'd out stuff.

I hate Lafayette.

Then we got uppity upper middle class Lafayettite housewives within earshot in front of us yacking about something innocuous, and slightly racist... and two paces behind us, the 20-years-later versions of the cunts in front of us.

we finally pass them and come up onto a playground for kids.. with 2 miles of painted off section of path marked as "Stroller Parking" make me fucking puke.. these housewives this place attracts must be baby machines too. Packed into their BMW SUV's.

The place was nice but all the reminders of suburban life were way too present to let me enjoy the wild birds, deer and flocks of Canadian geese we saw.

Then, just when I thought the 14th pure breed dog being walked by their designer track suit owner wasnt enough, I saw what I initially thought was some kind of large wild fruit.. but as I got closer I saw that it was mother fucking Christmas ornaments.

I'm already pissed that christmas is a commercialized piece of shit, and then, In a fucking public regional park, maintained by tax dollars, I get reminded that it starts the day after Halloween.

screw this place. I'll take snake road in tinez any day.

Nov 7, 2008

This is how I rule the world

That phrase was stuck in my head for some reason.

Ghost Hunters was kinda nuts. I DVR'd a few episodes I hadn't seen. They're sitting there and after they say "do something, move something, make a noise to let us know youre here" you hear something hit the ground. then they see that a clothes hanger somehow got from the closet rack, to the floor by them. So they put it back and wait.. this time you see the clothes hanger fly across the room and land by one of the guys. CRAZY!

Then in another episode some store owners think that the spirit of a former employee and family friend named Jean is haunting the store. So during EVP (electronic voice phenominon) sessions, where they ask questions and hope to get voices, they couldnt hear, on the recording, they kept asking, for and about Jean, by name. they got 3 EVP's in a deep creepy voice.

one said "Dont be scared" another said "there is no Jean here" and the last one said "please leave us alone" CREEPY!! I got chills as I was watching it.

anyway.. here's some photo friday goodness.

hey, yea also, we got a new president. I made a comic.

propaganda rules.

check out my friend Marisa's blog. its bananas.

Skateboard Socks! I designed their new logo so they sent me some. perfect for skateboard paintings

P B Jeezy

goofing around with trucks and wheels

company had a halloween pot luck/costume contest.. pfft thanks for letting me know.
Trevor had an authentic Saudi get-up he got when he went there. propers

home made indian. Trader Joes helped.

this isnt the shroud of torin. its a quick self portrait i did on the back of a bookshelf. it's in white so I inverted the colors.
I carved this on halloween night.

aight then. have a weekend.