Nov 21, 2008

Just got back from the dentist, uh huh.

I went for a cleaning around mid October and my doc found some decay under an old filling on my lower molar.

I went back a week later to get it taken care of and for some reason he couldnt hit the sweet spot with the anesthetic so I had to reschedule and go home with ground beef in the back of my gums and a face that was numb everywhere but my tooth.

Another week later I go back and its basically the same shit over again. He's baffled and I can sort of tell he was a little ashamed of himself and his lack of ability to hit my dental G-spot. again, hamburger helper face makes another appt.

now its today, he used a different type of stuff and let me have it like it was prom night. I waited, just like last time and watched CNN. My tongue and lower lip started to tingle... could it be? it's working! So Candido tests with cold water and air.. so far, so good.. get out the Dremmel.

As he's I'm astonished that I cant feel it. then about 2 minutes in.. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

oh fuck me!!! Once he got through the old filling layer I could feel everything. CROTCH SUCKER!

So he jabbs the needle a few more times for good measure and sits me in front of Kyra Phillips and watched her talk about the economy for a second time. Doc comes back in a few different times to check on me but still my tounge feels the same.

Eventually, since I already have a hole in my tooth, I decided to just say fuck it and finish what I went there for. He said he only had a little bit to go to get the decay out so i just gritted my teeth. (that figure of speech really doesn't work here does it?) and took the pain like a new inmate at a max-security prison.

It was rough but we got it done. we high fived when it was finally over.

On my way home I new i was hungry but needed something mushy... thats when I did the unthinkable sin.

I went to Quiznos. My arch enemy (arch is a pun figure that out) to get some soup. here I am spurping out the right side of my mouth and feeling like I just gave oral sex to my best friends mom so she wouldnt tell my parents that she caught us smoking in the basement over summer vacation.

tastes about the same too.


jimbizzle said...

Who's your best friend? Does he know about you and his mom?

dstn pyn said...

dear homosexual god!!! that sounds like hell. I hate the dentist. I had braces for 8 years. fuck them!