Stumble Upon Kirknoggins

If you look at the bottom of this post, and all my posts, theres a new little button. A little Thumbs Up button. when you click this it submits that post to the stumbleupon network for other stumblers to stumble upon. what the hell is Stumbleupon?



Stumbleupon is a Firefox add-on that puts a little "stumble" button on your browser toolbar. goes to random sites that fit your criteria that you enter when you sign up. then you can "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" it. when you thumbs up something it adds it to your stumbleupon favorites. You can set it to look for photos, videos, news or whatever.

Just when I thought I'd gotten to the end of the internets, I find more cool shit.

slusho!

this is driving me nuts. i know its a stupid marketing thing but its really making me crazy looking for clues. since the Lost Experience I havent been so e-obsessed.


here's the story in a nut shell. before Transformers theres a trailer for a movie. looks like a typical NY gets blowed up destruction movie but from the perspective of some douchey hipster 20 somethings home video camera. theres no title, just JJ Abrams name and production company Bad Robot. who also does LOST, which i'm obsessed with already, and a release date. 1-18-08.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/ <-- watch so, next cryptic www.1-18-08.com pops up and if you go you might see 3 photos. it started with one. seem to be stills from the trailer. a guy in the pic has a "slusho" shirt. which led vidiots like me to www.slusho.jp.
look how RANDOM this shit is. the "History" of this fake drink from japan is nuts. reads like a Godzilla plot.

a letter from JJ Abrams made it clear that there were more "official" sites but we havent found any thing new yet. its driving me nuts. I and many others have picked apart the slusho site and cant find any clues.

for more info and to get your head effed google "cloverfield" and/or "1-18-08" and/or "slusho"

I started geeking on this like a week and half ago and it made VH1's "best week ever" the other night.

this crap is sweeping the nation.

cheee chee chee chee ... ahh ahh ahh ahh ...

the title is supposed to be the sound you hear when Jason Vorhees comes on screen. you know, in the movie Friday the 13th.. because you know, It IS Friday the 13th. I'd like to say i planned something special for the blog in honor of this special day but all i got is "cheee chee chee chee ... ahh ahh ahh ahh"

speaking of special day tho. dont forget "BOY WILL BE BOYS" is tonite at the shakey hand gallery. come look at and possibly buy some of my artwork. I dont think i promoted as much this time.. i hope its good. above is the write up i got in East Bay Express.

ok douche lickers. heres this weeks photos.

if you look close, its a humming bird.

georgie McDrool had a growth removed out of his mouth the other day.

so fucked. this little market has a coffee machine with a fresh pot of coffee in plain sight on the sales floor... with this sign above it.

the boat in the pic is what those pieces of wood in the water used to be. got stuck there in like 18oo something and caught fire at some point. its been there ever since. we call this the "burnt boat beach" some crazy dude lived on it in the 70's i think and would shoot at people who tried to come near the boat.

Ronald McDonald is like the ultimate friend. he has a scooter AND a drumset. c'mon thats just rad. not to mention the sweet Happy Meal hook up he has

these guys were collecting cardboard from our dumpster. we dont care, but for some reason they got rolled on, and seriously hassled by the cops.

with a fucking camera phone!! Hey National Geographic... whats up?

ok thats it. SEE YOU TONIGHT AT MY ART SHOW!!! SHAKEY HAND GALLERY ON MAIN ST. 6:00-8:00 BE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!

www.shakeyhandgallery.com

"you must be EXTREMELY attractive"

One of the ugliest men in show business sang the lyrics "What would you do if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?" back then, maybe, people had a much higher standard of music back then. Now days it wouldnt matter because he'd be good enough looking and have such rad dance moves that his lyrics and voice wouldnt matter. On top of that he'd be lip syncing or singing under prerecorded backing vocal tracks.

My point is, today, vocal, instrumental and lyrical talent doesnt matter. its all about the image.

The reason i bring this up is because a friend of mine was looking to start an all female rock band and posted an ad up online. In my Boycott The Music Industry blog i posted one of the responses from a guy from an "Established L.A. based entertainment company" . It encapsulates one of the things that are very wrong with music industry today.

After he name drops a handfull of major networks, film companies and magazines, (of course no record companies after this was an ad for a band right?) he proceeds to ooze slime with every keystroke. here are some excerpts;

• "The only pre-requisite is that you must be EXTREMELY attractive, a beautiful face and Magnificent body, as this is the current wave in all areas of the entertainment industry." he carefully follows this statement assuring her that this isnt for any X-rated or Adult work. also note that none of the 'pre-requisites' are musical ability.
  
• "If you are a female actress, model, vocalist, musician, or dancer, and you feel you meet our pre-requisite and standards, and you are interested, please e-mail Photos (at least one head shot and one body shot, although a few of each would be preferred)" is there a casting couch involved?
• the fact is that business is business, and there is a reason why there are no new Aretha Franklins and Mellissa Ethridges bursting on to the scene. Even people that talented would not get record deals today, but there are many young ladies with a fraction of Aretha's voice, signing multi-million dollar deals, because of their face and body. and because you're a fucking douche bag perpetuating this kind of attitude in the music industry.
• I cannot change society, or what the masses at large want, the reason labels look for beauty, is because it sells, and it sells because that is what people want.

who else wants to punch this guy in the throat? whats most fucked up is that he's right. This is the sad state of the music industry. It may not 100% reflect what the masses want tho. But even if that is what the masses want... the masses are stupid by design. they've been conditioned. if you dont give them a choice of real talent they will pick the good looking hack.

Look back to the 70's ... real song writers with great songs making hits that become classics. and they were UGLY! but it didnt matter. it was music.

the industry is insulting us by giving us vacuous celebrity with nothing to offer but eye candy thinking thats all we will accept. There's room for heart throbs but dont confuse pretty faces with talented artists.

Douche bags like this need to be stabbed in the crotch by scorpions.

if you want to read the full email check out my Boycott The Music Industry blog at boycottthemusic.blogspot.com

oops i crapped my pants

its friday but for some reason it feels like tuesday. I get to set up my art show tonite. funz
here's some lame photos.
GO!

because you ghetto mother fuckers cant not stab someone for one night a year.
way to go oakland!

this is wee me at weeworld.com

suzisuzu goes to heaven

this shirt doesnt say it but the font implies a .."fuck yea"

you ever wonder where all those white trash people get their retarded america shirts?
Longs in martinez has them. as well as truck stops across this great nation of ours.
what the fuck is this shirt? lol

they have pet gravestones at Navalet's Nursery

Benicia used to be the state capital before the governor realised BENICIA SUCKS A DICK!

this and many other Martinez Ca. wearables available at cafepress.com/mtz

these are my new bandmates

Dustin and Jesse

we tried out a bass player last night but he was gay.

ok fuck off now. this heat is killing me.

Happy Fourth Of July

AMERICA...

...FUCK YEA!!!

and i quote..
"the greatest moment in the history of American sports"

look who's famous again!

that's right.. East Bay Express did another interview with me. This time about my upcoming art show at Shakey Hand Gallery with Bryan Blanco and Garret Bock.
From East Bay Express

He's Still All Boy

Artist Kirk Shelton blows Jessica Simpson’s cover.

By Rachel Swan

Machine guns and Lamborghinis provided early inspiration for Martinez sketchbook artist Kirk Shelton, who says he started drawing as soon as he could hold a pencil. Around fourth or fifth grade he fell in love with skateboard graphics like skulls and eyeballs, and drew them with a fervor he later applied to heavy metal regalia - more intricate skulls with thicker outlines, along with severed limbs and things getting blown up and stuff. Now thirty, Shelton has designs on professional painting. His drawings have gotten a lot more ambitious, though most of them haven't lost his characteristic sass - the rather cryptic caricature Jessica Simpson Is a Man came from a cover of a celebrity gossip rag. In the drawing she has a grotesque, aquiline nose and pronounced chin cleft, and looks a little like a noble bald eagle. "I was trying to exaggerate her manly features," Shelton says, pointing out the obvious. He still draws plenty of eyeballs.

Shelton's newest work is in Boys Will Be Boys, which also features pieces by Bryan Blanco and Garret Bock. The show's marquee features graphics from all three: Bock's GI Joe character with a thought bubble imagining all the pretty, bikini-clad groupies he'll have if he comes home in one piece; Blanco's cartoon sketch of three boys in animal costumes; and Shelton's Garbage Pail Kid-style drawing of a guy tearing the head off a little girl's Barbie. Shelton says he's not exactly sure if doll decapitation is a common practice for boys. "I think it was taken from my girlfriend," the artist admits. "Her older sister used to torment her by destroying all her Barbie dolls." Through August 13 at Martinez' Shakey Hand Gallery. ShakeyHandGallery.com

July 13, 6-8 p.m.

hell's yea. i hate getting quoted because its always out of context. or maybe i just really do sound like an asshole.

you should come.