big day for the kirkness part II

well, I got the car. tasty 05 Scion Xb.

here's a crappy photo of it in my driveway last night.


also, heres a better pic of my decks all sprawled out on my floor.


Today I'm going to Metro Skateshop and get some of my decks up on his skateboard rack. After that I'm taking my pile of paperwork over to the DMV to get my car all registrated.

funness!

Someone's Officially in the Skateboard Business.

more on this later.

in completely unrelated news. I drew what kinda looks like an ALF skull.

big day for the kirkness

My box of Gallery Skateboards is scheduled to arrive today. This will officially put me in the Skateboard business. This evening I'm supposed to go pick up my new car. A 2005 Scion Xb. I've always wanted one. Now that Suzi is dead, God bless her soul, I'm getting one.

out with the old in with the.. this isnt it but more-or-less what it looks like.

This also happened today. In tomledin.com fashion, I decided to do a video blog entry to document my predicament.

on a semi related note. theres this warehouse that we drive passed that is right next to my dad's and brother's work at the UP and Amtrak yards. Well I guess it was on fire one day last week. My brother actually saw the smoke and called 911 before any fire trucks or anything were there. The funny part is, while the fire dept was going around and warning the adjacent warehouses, they accidentally discovered a huge marijuana operation going on in one of them. "copious amounts of ganja"

good thing they found it or else the whole neighborhood would have gotten high

most worstest foto friday everer

remember that one time when i said "this is the worst photo Friday ever" well.. i was wrong. THIS is the worst photo Friday ever. I've been to stressed and busy to think about taking pictures. I managed to snap my digital shutter 3 times this week.

sorry.



Good news is, my skateboards will be here Monday. Stickers hopefully today. hey, I guess next week i'll be in the skateboard business for reals like.

Eulogy for a Friend.

First gear.
Last weekend the Clutch master cylinder on my Isuzu Rodeo went out. Saturday, after replacing stairs and shit on my porch my dad and I replaced it. cost me a few hours of daylight and about $60. I also replaced the headlights.

Headlight out, Clutch going out. Not that big of a deal but i think my car was trying to tell me, for the last time, "LET ME DIE"

You see, Suzi and me. Thats what i call my car, Suzi.. SuzISUZU. Suzi and me have been through a lot together. 2 blown clutches, new tires, 3 or 4 major accidents. I left her for dead after a major head on collision in 2001 only to be brought back to life in 2004. then in 2006 she let out her first cry. The head gasket blew. this was a big one. cost almost $900 and countless days and greasy hands to fix. but we fixed it. we've had a few minor ups and downs since but nothing major. Still I should have listened.

I think I was deafened to her cries by my dad. He's a mechanic so he'd rather fix something than replace it. Here i am driving this wrecked, limping pile of metal and plastic that is trying to tell me she wants to just go in peace.

Second Gear.
Tuesday, with a working clutch and 2 working headlights I headed out to work. Halfway to work I start to hear a rattling sound. I chalked it up to some of the clutch fluid lines being knocked lose when we fixed the master cylinder. so i kept on truckin. A few miles further and POP!.. FIZZZ

Something blew in my engine... steam and smoke are billowing out of my hood. I find a place to pull over and call my dad.

8 hours later, when my dad got off work he met me where i left Suzi. In a parking lot in Lafayette. Its now dark, we've poured 3 gallons of water into the radiator. Lets see what happens. My dad takes out one of the spark plugs to see if the cylinder has compression. "turn it over" i turn the key ever so slightly.. POW a blast of water comes shooting out of my engine.. NOT GOOD.

At this point, Mr.Fix it declares Suzi DOA. Another blown head gasket. We weigh all our options and decide we're gonna have to get a tow truck to take it home.

3rd gear.
while waiting for the tow truck ("45-an hour") we get decide to get sandwiches at the Quizno's right next to where Suzi took her final breath.

If you read the noggins you know that Kirk hates the Quizno's but it was there and my dad was into the idea.

As my dad went to the bathroom i was looking over thier lame menu and asked what the peppercorn sauce was. he squirted some on a lid and let me try it. It tasted like bacon grease. and not in a good way. My dad comes back and we decide on the Pastrami somethingorother. they cant just have regular names. everything has pazzaz. We got it with american instead of Swiss and asked what kind of sauce they put on it. He said it was a pepper mustard or something. but it was beige with black spots. mustard isnt supposed to be beige. we asked if we could get regular mustard instead but, and get this shit, THEY DONT HAVE REGULAR MUSTARD!!!!!!!! what the holy fuck is a SANDWICH SHOP doing with no Mustard?!?!?!? MIND FUCKING BOGGLING

He continues, "we have honey mustard, and bourbon honey mustard" why? god damnit in the name of all that is logically holy would you not have mustard?

In my head, as he was showing me the slimy yellow squirt bottles of everything but mustard i was thinking "FUCK THIS, FUCK QUIZNOS... FOREVER..."

so we get back to the car to wait for the tow truck and unwrap our "Toasted Signature Subs" and they arent toasty at all, they are soggy fucking wet messes. must have been the greasy ass puke mustard sauce he drowned our bread in.

so yea. now that we're clear of Quiznos property my thoughts were now verbalized... FUCK THAT PLACE! FUCK QUIZNOS. THAT WAS IT.. NO MUSTARD DUDE, FUCK YOU FOREVER..NEVER AGAIN.. Not even if i'm stranded in the desert and theres an oasis with nothing but SHITno's.. I would starve to death!!!"

thats it guys. the Kirkness will never eat that piece of shit mustard discriminator ever again.

4th gear.
So the truck came, scraped Suzi's carcass off the pavement, took her to the final resting place of many of my family's cars. My grandparents side yard. They have this large car sized area next to thier garage that is fenced in with a big gate. It's kind of like Hospice for cars. Sometimes they pull through, sometimes they dont.

After we get the car in there and the tow truck is gone, my dad says. "you know, since we did it once before it wouldnt take more than an hour to get that head off and replace the ...." before he could even finish the sentence i said NO. "I'm done. I'm through with that car. I dont want to pop that hood ever again!"

5th gear.
So now, my broke ass is on the hunt for a new car. wish me luck. In the meantime i'm driving my brothers 96 Suburban. That thing basically runs on Ca$h. it gets like 2 blocks to the gallon. and with the way gas prices are going up this is not the car to be driving.

thats it. all i have is 5 gears. Just like little Suzi. Rest in peace baby.

SuzIsuzu
Beloved Car and Friend.

1993-2007

what a week

damn. what a week.

We're refinishing out porch. My Clutch went out. I placed my bulk order of skateboards. I've been up all night all week working on freelance graphics. It was Halloween. A girl in my department at work quit so my workload is going to suck. I'm tired as fuck from not sleeping.

I need a vacation.

suck on some pictures.
























I'm too tired for this shit.

oh yea, i think another person got splattered all over the freeway again this morning. Human VS BigRig. BigRig always wins. Thats fucking science.

Halloween.

So it's Halloween
And you feel like dancin'
And you feel like shinin'
And you feel like letting loose

Whatcha gonna be
Babe, you better know
And you better plan
Better plan all day

Better plan all week
Better plan all month
Better plan all year

You're dressed up like a clown
Putting on your act
It's the only time all year
You'll ever admit that

I can see your eyes
I can see your brain
Baby, nothing's changed
(repeat)

You're still hiding in a mask
You take your fun seriously
No, don't blow this year's chance
Tomorrow your mold goes back on

After Halloween

You go to work today
You'll go to work tomorrow
Shitfaced tonight
You'll brag about it for months

Remember what I did
Remember what I was
Back on Halloween

But what's in between
Where are your ideas
You sit around and dream
For next Halloween

Why not everyday
Are you so afraid
What will people say
(repeat)

After Halloween

Because your role is planned for you
There's nothing you can do
But stop and think it through
But what will the boss say to you

And what will your girlfriend say to you
And the people out on the street they might glare at you
And whadya know you're pretty self-conscious too

So you run back and stuff yourselves in rigid business costumes
Only at night to score is your leather uniform exhumed
Why don't you take your social regulations
And shove 'em up your ass

I fucking love Dead Kennedys!

Thizz or Die?

hmm, i think you should DIE!

Yesterday, after another session at the Martinez park, Jesse and I went to check out the new Benicia skate park. We got there early (opening time 9:00. I think its stupid to have it fenced in with set hours in the first place) to find a crowd of kids sitting outside a locked gate. thinking it was just the city park guy taking his time to open the park we walked the perimeter so he could check it out. Then I noticed that those fucking piece of shit wanna be gangsters tagged "THIZZ OR DIE" on one of the ramps. I'm all for good graffiti but gang tagging is retarded. especially when shit like the following happens..



I asked this dude if it was like this all the time where they lagged on unlocking the park. he told me that they weren't going to open it, probably not for a while .. or until they could have the graffiti cleaned up.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

the skate park is closed because some shitty taggers got in there with a spray can?

so stupid. rules and skate parks dont go together.. especially when the rules that actually matter (no bikes etc) are never enforced.

Graffiti is skateable... i'm not as much pissed at that. I mean yea THIZZ is pretty retarded and i hope they choke on breakfast and suffer alot and then die. but if i cant catch them.. fuck it. skate over it. but when it fucks shit up for everyone that sucks.. but i think im more pissed that they have this stupid unenforceable rule that ends up closing the whole park.. stupid knee jerk reaction to something, essentially harmless to skaters.

they just dont understand that when they close the park, the skaters will turn around and go to the nearest skate spot in town. Fuck up and piss off businesses in the neighborhood.

We ended up going downtown to skate at the ghost town that is the Old Benicia Skate Park. its pretty fun but very dated.

I suck anyway so it didn't really matter. brought back some old memories tho.

I hear they're tearing it out now that they got the new nanny park.
if it hasn't been thought of already someone should try to organize a big farewell skate jam there to say goodbye. lots of history in that park .

Speaking of stupid City decisions. Remember the stupid parking thing i posted a while ago?


well.. this morning i pulled into freshly repainted parking spaces. FACING THE RIGHT WAY!!! HA HA .. the people 1, city of emeryville 0. nothing more satisfying than the acknowledgment of a bad idea. and the subsequent rectifying of said bad idea.

Lunes Feliz

GM the green car company.

remember this post from way back?

Did i tell you i saw An Inconvenient Truth? its an interesting topic and all, but Al Gore can make an orgasm boring. Well, i think after you see that you should watch who killed the electric car.. then commit suicide. What it says basicly, is that in 50 years we'll all be under water and the electric cars, technology and legislation that could have helped stop it was halted, on purpose, so some assholes could get more rich.

what good is being rich when the planet is underwater you might ask? well with all that oil money they are going to buy moon mansions.

its pretty depressing.

I recently just started seeing GM/Chevy commercials where they tout that they are working on alternative fuel vehicles for the future. Futuristic new technology like all electric cars. wow i cant wait!!

But it's all pretty fucked up when you know that they had a fully functional and popular electric Saturn on the market in 1998. Which they discontinued and had destroyed to make way for the HUMMER. As if we wouldn't notice you bandwagon hopping pieces of shit.

2000-2007 the dark ages....way to take a huge step backwards for 8 years GM.

Officer Triglycerides

So I went in for a physical like a month ago. The doc said everything sounded cool but he wanted to do some pee and blood tests. so, as if i was at a kegger, I wrote my name on a plastic party cup and pissed in it.

Anyway he said "call monday for your results" and since nothing having to do with that fucking doctors office goes without incident, i called at like 11:00 and they werent in. nice hours assholes.

for another 2 weeks I kept forgetting to call and then this Monday i called, at like 9:00 to make sure those slackers were there. I called and a woman answered "Doctor Fuckface's office" I told her I needed some test results and the line was silent and then went dead. what the fuck?! so i called back and this time she answered "HELLO?!"with a snotty tone. I said "HELLO?!" back and then she said "Doctor Fuckface's office" but still kinda rude like.. so i told her again and pretty abruptly repied "The doctor isnt here. He's on vactation till wednesday... call back wednesday" and before i could even say thank you she hung up on me.

slutface! .. so i gave the good doctor an extra day and called back yesterday. She answers again "Doctor Fuckface's office" i told her my deal and said "ok please hold" then like 20 seconds later i hear her "are you still there?" then the doctors voice "are you on speaker phone?" i was like uuuh no... then i listened while he and the receptionist tried to figure out how to turn off speakerphone for like 2 minutes. are you fucking kidding me, what is this amateur hour?

finally, they figured it out. He said "hello kirk are you there?" and i had to switch gears from annoyed spectator to patient. He said everything looked good. but my Triglycerides are a little high. Now instead of doing what you'd think a doctor would do and suggest changing my diet and trying to cut out certain things and excercise more. Or what one website suggests.

• keep an active lifestyle
• eat a healthy diet low in saturated fats and trans fats
  • use lower fat dairy or cheese instead of regular version
  • trim visible fats from meats
  • cook with canola, olive or peanut oils (read The Best Cooking Oils?)
• include high-fiber foods such as whole grains, oatmeal and fruits
• limit sugar intake such as pop, Kool-aid, and other sweetened beverages
• limit alcohol to maximum 1 drink a day
• include Omega 3 -rich foods such as Salmon, Fish Oils and Flax seed
• do not over-eat; watch portion size when eating out
• keep a healthy weight. Use our BMI Calculator to find out if your weight falls within the healthy range.

Nah, ol Fuckface goes right to the pills.. the magic cure for all. he just says.. "Niacin. you can get it at any pharmacy over the counter with no prescription. Its with the vitamins. take one of these with dinner every night. that will help with your triglycerides. "

ok thanks doc. does this mean i can continue to eat McGriddles and shit just as long as I pop a Niacin with it? This sounds like Catholic Confession way of doctorin' .

I dunno about this guy. anyway, pictures were sparse this week but i drew drawings.

new gallery series.

SCORE.. Jeremy Fish limited run REAL deck.. in the bargain bin!


i set up this yellow deck for skatin'. (custom grip stenciling)

because this broke :(

his shirt said something funny. made more funny be him being a drunk fat hick in a bar full of 20 somethings"FATMAN" awesome.

la luna

Jim Phillps grenade shirt. score!

Officer Triglycerides





Seattle? maybe.