Aug 25, 2008

What's Grosser Than Gross?

I was looking at the Pittsburg garbage service for the new house and they offer a 96 gallon trash can. It made me think of that old joke..."whats grosser than gross? 100 dead babies in a garbage can." 96 gallons? that's a lot of dead babies!

so I got all nostalgic about sharing those old "grosser than gross" jokes. here's some I remembered and some I found on the interwebs.

we'll start with this classic; whats grosser than gross?
100 dead babies in a garbage can.
whats grosser than that?
one at the bottom eating his way out.
whats grosser than that?
he goes back for seconds.
whats grosser than that?
that baby in a 100 garbage cans.

whats grosser than gross?
getting a boner and running out of skin.

whats grosser than gross?
siamese twins conjoined at the tongue.
whats grosser than that?
one of them throws up.
whats grosser than that?
it makes the other one throw up.

whats grosser than gross?
two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
whats grosser than that?
the tampon is still in.

whats grosser than gross?
when you throw your underwear at the wall and it sticks.
whats grosser than that?
when you whistle and it comes back.

whats grosser than gross?
when you sit on your grandpas lap and he pops a boner.
whats grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandmas lap and she pops a boner.

whats grosser than gross?
finding a condom at the bottom of a mayonaise jar.
whats grosser than that?
you eat your sandwich anyway.

whats grosser than gross?
when a cheerleader does the splits and sticks to the floor
whats grosser than that?
when she gets up theres 5 class rings on the floor
whats grosser than that?
when one of the rings is her brother's.

whats grosser than gross?
having sex with a pregnant woman and you feel something grab your dick.
whats grosser than that?
bragging to your friends about being in a threesome.

what's grosser than gross?
drinking a bloody mary and finding a string.

whats grosser than gross?
piling dead babies onto a cart with a pitchfork.
whats grosser than that:
piling live babies onto a cart with a pitchfork.

whats grosser than gross?
grandma giving grandpa a hickey and the skin pops

what's grosser than gross?
finding a cockroach in your big mac.
What's grosser than that?
finding half a cockroach in your big mac.


and now here's some random gross/ dead baby jokes I came across.

lets get the obligatory MJ joke out of the way. I was surprised i'd never heard this one.
What did the lady on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Excuse me sir, you're in my son.

What's small, screams and can't turn corners?
a baby with a spear through it.

What's red and silver and walks into walls?
A baby with forks jammed in his eyes.

whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
you take off your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline

(this one is the best!)
How do you get a hundred dead babies into a phone booth?
A blender.
how do you get them back out?
tortilla chips!!!!

Kid home from school: "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
dad:"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
kid:"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
dad:"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
(ouch!)


A little girl says to her mom, "Mommy, little Timmy next door has a willy like a peanut".
Mom laughs and says "Was it really small?"
"No", says the girl, "it was really salty".

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
I dunno, I was too busy jacking off.

my dad used to always tell this one.. Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too.

ok that's it. you're welcome and/or I'm sorry. thanks for playing, drive thru, come again.

post yours in the comments!
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