My problem with Alcatraz (the tv show)

Alcatraz review

There's a new show by the assholes that made Lost. It debuted last night on Fox. Basically what it's about is all the inmates in Alcatraz disappeared in 1963 and was covered up. They begin to reappear in present day San Francisco.

It starts out on present day Alcatraz with a little girl who veers off the guided tour to find a man waking up in a solitary confinement cell. The tour guide thinks he's a bum or something sleeping there. The guy ends up being one of the 1963 inmates. The show then flashes back and forth from the 60s telling the backstory of the inmates much like on Lost. So the inmate manages to easily get on the ferry back to SF without any problems where he hunts down and kills people from his past and mysteriously a guy he has no connection to.

Present day cop (token hot chick) teams up with. Hurley from Lost (Awkward comic book nerd and phd Alcatraz expert) get mixed up with super top secret govt agency apparently formed to catch the time traveling ex-cons. They have a "Bat Cave" under Alcatraz. Who knew!?



Problem I have is that you have this super high tech heavily budgeted group that clearly knew enough about it to have a underground team with high tech computer monitors and as we find out, a super secret high tech prison under a forest somewhere set up to hold the "63's" (which for some reason has old school prison cell bars instead of modern day heavy sealed doors). Despite all this they didn't have the wherewithal to investigate reports of a guy sleeping in an off-limits area of Alcatraz. Or realize that they reappear in present day, on the island itself. So what I think should happen is, once you use your high tech shit to deduce that the situation with the little girl and person 'sleeping' in a cell happened the same day the former Deputy Warden was murdered why not use your obvious pull to have Alcatraz shut down for emergency maintenance and just wait for them to appear. It makes no sense to me.

Im sure the connections with present and past get bigger and the top secret rabbit hole goes deeper as the show goes on but this, right now bothers me. I bet they never even reveal how Hugo got the nickname Hurley.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tips for a Happier and Bacteria Free New Year

After you piss on your hands, or get shit particles on your hands from wiping, what's the last thing you touch before washing your hands? The sink faucet. So in theory that's gotta be one of the dirtiest places in the bathroom right? Strangely, it's also the first thing you touch after you wash your hands. Good job, you just touched the shit handle with your virgin hands.

There's new hands free technology that's been popping up in the last several years but I think it's implementation has been a little off. Here's my rundown.

*Electronic Paper Towels?* Pointless. Because the only hands that have been touching it are most likely freshly washed. I feel stupid standing there waiting for a paper to come out of a machine while my hands are dripping . The manual ones have paper towels ready to just tear off. Tear it off and go! Im drying *clean* hands!

*Automatic Soap dispenser?* While this may be the only step between bodily waste and the sink i dont count it because c'mon you're about to wash off whatever might be lurking there. And plus, it's fucking soap.

*Hands Free Flushing?* I can dig the hands free flushing, only because it's convenient. Sometimes while shitting it goes off prematurely and scares the shit out of me. Literally.

So business owners, if you're going to make anything in your public restrooms _hands free_ make it the sink. If anyone actually put any thought into it, as I clearly have done way too much of, they would see that, while its modern and neat, it's pretty pointless unless you're handicapped. But more importantly, unless you have automatic sink faucet, you aren't saving anyone from getting herpes or aids from the bathroom.

Also a can of Lysol next to the toilet will do way more good than those flimsy pointless ass gaskets.

Here's to a happy and cleaner new year.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tipping.

Tipping
I hate having to tip. But for some reason super low wages have become acceptable and I'm forced to pay for your wages directly out of my pocket.

If you met the status quo at your job you shouldn't get a reward for it. This sends the wrong message and punishes the customer rather than tackling the issue with employers.

How are they getting away with paying their employees far under minimum wage? What if you went to the department store and after they rang you up they tacked on a optional 18% fee to supplement the cashier's $3/hr wage? You can refuse to pay it but an entire industry would rather guilt trip you than try to change an illicit practice of violating labor laws.

Can you write off tipping as a donation?

Does this make me an asshole?

posted from Bloggeroid

It's about that time. Xmas shirts

Happy Almost December fuckers. Just a reminder that I have some alternative Christmas tshirt designs for sale on redbubble.com.
http://www.redbubble.com/people/kirksucks

posted from Bloggeroid

Not So Ghetto Jack in the Box?

So now my beloved ghetto jack in the box, of which many noggin posts have been written has been totally remodeled. I posted before when they did a slight cleanup but this is like a total update. The parking lot was full, there was a line of well-to-do lunch break goers, and I did notice the hint of any illicit substance in the air fouling the aroma of deep fried tacos, seasoned curly and burgers being made after they were ordered. Not one scumbag asking for change next to the register. Not one argument between the staff and an unruly, ignorant customer. New chairs, tables and an actual counter where there used to be bullet proof glass.

They've really classed up the joint. It's great for business and for the Jumbo Jack enthusiasts of the neighborhood but it makes for boring stories not worth telling. Sorry noggin readers. I'm afraid the mountain spring of awesome ghetto jitb stories has run dry.

posted from Bloggeroid

Cha Cha Cha Reservation Fail

So like i love this place but tonight they are kind of pissing me off. We got a reservation for 11 people. As we sit we mention that were still waiting for a few of the eleven people in our party, the waitress says... not the hostess, not the person at the front who greeted us, not the person on the phone who we the made the reservation with and called 3 times, once to make the original reservation, again to add 2 extra people and again to say were running late, and at this point still there was no hesitation or indication of any problems with our reservation, but as I was saying, the waitress tells us "they told you that we have a large party of 30 coming in an hour and a half right? So you'll need to be done by then" -What the fuck is that shit? 


We wrangled 11 heads and dragged them out here from the 925 for this place we'd been talking up and now we look like assholes. You had 3 opportunities to tell us this information BEFORE we drove across the bay, and 2 more once we were in the building and after most of us are here the waitress drops the oh yea you have 90 minutes to order, and eat then GTFO bomb on us. 


Also, no separate checks, and since you're getting 18% tip automatically because we had 'more than 8', don't try and earn it. Fuck you. The speaker blasting Latin bass in our ear in the loft is awesome too. It's even better when you cram 11 adults into a table for 7. Like I said, I love this place but maybe never make reservations or sit in the loft again. Shit its after 9, let's see how they kick us out. 

Buy My Stuff.

It's been a while since I solicited you guys for sales on my redbubble page.  If you haven't been paying attention, here's some new shit I've posted up there.  Also, iPhone4 cases are so hot right now.

Also, iPhone4 cases are so hot right now.

Go. Buy. Now!!!

http://www.redbubble.com/people/kirksucks

Ten Albums I'm Still Not Sick of. (in no particular order)

1. The Blue Album by Weezer











2. Reception by Domeshots











3. Oh God the Aftermath by Norma. Jean













4. Terraforming by The Postman Syndrome












5. Slip by Quicksand

6. Seasons In The Abyss by Slayer

7. Adrenaline by Deftones

8. Songs For The Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age

9. Leviathan by Mastodon

10. Plastic Surgery Disasters by Dead Kennedys












Honorable mentions;

Doppleganger by Fall of Troy

Raising Hell by Run DMC

Diamond Eyes by Deftones









~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's all I have to say about that.

Facelift

Someone said "hey dumbass if you love Google+ so much why dont you have a +1 button?"
He had a point. And wouldnt you know it? Blogger has a whole new share bar thingy. Well, since my blogger template was uber customized by me in 2007. It was all created on the old template. I'm not sure if I like the new template but hey, it has a google plus button now so we'll just have to deal.


New noggins, here you go.

DING!

The Road To Trash Town

So. You know all the trash on the side of the freeway? All the random debris. I, like most people I'm sure probably just chalk it up to people being rude slobs throwing shit from cars. I'm sure there's plenty of that but I think the majority of it is from something that I saw the other day.

As I got on the freeway going to work I pulled on behind a garbage truck. A regular ol' residential garbage truck. I heard the sound of what I would describe as dirt or large dust speckling my (brand new) windshield and I, concerned, looked to see what it was coming from. Obviously the garbage truck.

So I slow down and make some more distance between me and the dust mobile. Then I start to see larger objects silhouetted in the sunrise coming from the top of the trash compactor section of this trash hauler. Some came into view. I started to recognize shapes. That's office paper, hmm those are recipts. More papers. A hunk of Styrofoam whisked into the wind. More small miscellaneous flotsam. Then something large started shaking lose near the rim. "Is that a..... " a fucking shoe! It came loose. I watched as a size 11 hi-top Nike cross trainer tumbled across 2 lanes then rested on the shoulder next to the barrier.

I then found my way and passed junk thrower thinking what the hell else flies out of those trucks on a daily basis? Is this where all the shit on the side of the road is? Probably.

I wonder if they usually have more secure lids and this one was just busted? Probably not.

So while people are still filthy slobs, i blame most of the mess on dump trucks.