what the fuck gas prices? WTF Christian Nut Jobs?

so i'm driving down the main drag of my suburban town and notice gas prices went up again. i'm thinking 2.85! jesus man what the hell gas prices have been pretty calm lately. luckily most of the smaller stations are at 2.64 still. So I'm thinking its just the Shell stations and 2.85 isnt THAT bad considering... but then this morning in Oakland on 7th and Market st.

3.47!!! three motherfucking dollars and fifty fucken cents for a gallon of regular? well, rape me in the ass with a brontosaurus fucking leg bone. this is kind of in the hood too. why they gotta hate on my black brothers?

when can we win the war and take the oil so we dont have to pay out the ass anymore.

THE SHIT IS RETARDED!!!

oh speaking of REEETTAARRRRDDDEDDD... i watched Jesus Camp last night and you know what? we should work out some kind of deal with the terrorist where they are allowed to totally bomb us and fuck with us all they want.. but they have to do it all in North Dakota.

...and chop this stupid fat bitch's head off.

Fuck you gas prices!

this is like my millionth blog bitching about gas prices, but damn dude, look at this shit.
2.83? fuck you gas prices, my wallet cant handle that shit. look people have pretty much given up on high octane. see how the ink on the 87 has worn away from people ONLY pushing that one.
I heard on the radio that Ford sells cars that get like 70-80 mpg in Europe, but refuse to sell them here. and that the major US car companies had deisel hybrid prototypes in like 1998 that got up to 60 mpg to meet a Clinton administration standard of having that by 2000. then in 2001 the program was cancelled and the big 3 started making more SUV's. we're getting ripped offf!!!!!!!!!!

sounds like a plan

I shit my pants when gas prices hit $3 last week on my street. This week i've heard its almost $4 in the city. Now I'm going to put on someone elses pants and shit in them.

Gas prices are so damn high, people are running out of gas on purpose just to get the "free gallon of gas" you get when you call the roadside assistance truck.

"...'Every time fuel goes up, we start noticing it. But right now we are noticing it a lot more' ..... 20 trucks roam the busy freeways of Orange and Los Angeles counties as part of a publicly funded patrol that gives a free gallon of gas to drivers who have run out of fuel"



sounds like a plan.
read the CNN thing on it.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/04/25/life.gas.reut/index.html?section=cnn_topstories

Jimbo Finds Gas Under $2.00!

My friend and fellow blogger Jimbo found a gas station with gas for under 2 bucks! (link to his story) Holy shit under $2!? could this be true.. pinch me, i must be dreaming.

Ok so yea some shit went down when the quarterly earnings came out a few months back thats showed the major Oil companies making record profits. Also someone leaked info about a secret meeting between top oil exects and dick cheney's controversial energy task force. And after all that the prices started to drop. mother fuckers got caught!
also like 20 gas stations in NY state were busted for Price gouging after Katrina. motherfuckers. What about those places in Atl. that had the shit at $6?

anyhoo, another strange thing that i've noticed lately is our Shell stations. Shell traditionally had the highest prices. easliy by at least 5-10 cents more than Kwikimart, and Vallero. suddenly after all this shit, its now the cheapest by similar margians. wtf? Shell, the cheapest? I'd always wondered why our gas, especially Shell was so much since thier refinery is in our fucking backyard. My dad always jokes about them just throwing a hose over the fence.

this whole "oil shortage" thing might just be bullshit anyway. Some scientists think that "oil is not a product of fossils and prehistoric forests but rather the bio-product of a continuing biochemical reaction below the earth's surface that is brought to attainable depths by the centrifugal forces of the earth's rotation."
basicly they think the earth makes oil naturally all the time and that its not from dinosaurs and doesnt take millions of years to produce. they think we're being lied to. so we have to do things like invade "oil rich" muslim countries, and raise prices due to shortages.

whatever, when's that water car coming out?
(link goes to a site i found that has instructions for turning your gas enging to run on water, fuck yea!)
more on the water engine here

what the fuck gas prices!!!?? part 2

remember back on March 1st when i posted that gas station in Oakland that was selling its gas for an outrageous price?
$3.47 was unheard of back then. and now, just over a month later its pretty much the norm give or take the cheap places that have it for $3.34.

Every other week i carpool with my dad and drive passed that gas station and i've seen it rise every couple weeks. it sat pretty steady at $3.74 then $3.83.. then this morning back on the carpool i saw that they finally went up. Up to $3. 97. I took note and planned taking a photo on the way home to blog.

So as we rolled up to it at 3:30 this afternoon i got my camera out to take a pic of the 3.97 gas. but since this morning it went up. its now $4.03!

they passed the motherfucking $4 mark.

And as i mentioned in the blog in March its fucked up because its one of the only gas stations in this lower income neighborhood. Just fuck the poor even harder...

all of this is compounded by, and kind of ironic that they decide to raise the price on a day that is estimated to have extra high traffic because of this...

Two connector ramps of the Bay Bridge MacArthur Maze (map), located near Emeryville, collapsed Sunday morning after an explosion and fire.

Heat from the fire, which reached temperatures estimated at up to 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit, caused the metal bolts and girders on the highway connector ramp above to melt. The overpass then gave way and collapsed.

The tanker truck driver was driving from westbound Interstate 80 to southbound Interstate 880.

so yea, a lot of traffic was potentially diverted right passed that gas station today.. good one fuckers.

i want my 1/10th back!

I just posted in my mini noggins about the whole 9/10ths thing they tag onto gas prices and it got me thinking. The oil companies have all these excuses why they charge so much but make no real effort to defend the fact that they still make record profits. The low supply and OPEC charging an arm and a leg for crude oil may be real and supply and demand may be in effect but maybe they arent lying when they say this is why gas is so high. and maybe this has nothing to do with thier profits.

I have a new theory on how despite the high cost of making gas, they can still make profits. its that damn 9/10 of a cent they add to every gallon of gas they sell. think about it. remember in that movie Office Space where they make that computer glitch that sends fractions of cents to a bank account. They compared it to the plot of Superman III. where it would be virtually untracable because no one notices fractions of cents that are getting rounded up anyway. Well, what if when you get 20 gallons of gas all those 9/10ths get rounded to the next cent amount. what happens to that 1/10 of each cent? it goes right to big oils bank account thats where! and its been going there for a long time. now they are super rich.. just like in Superman III!!

I want my 1/10 back!!!!

Garbage Man Shuffle

With gas prices at an all time high, and everyone is trying to cut back I was surprised to see what I saw yesterday morning.

I was putting my pants on and heard the garbage truck hissing and squealing and barreling towards my house. I was running late and I'm usually gone before they come. I glanced out and noticed that we forgot to put the trash on the curb the night before. Missing a week of trash pick up sucks as most of you probably know, so I ran down barefoot to put the trash out. I get back inside, with this sense of relief from just averting disaster and start putting my socks on. The closer the noise got it turned into pride. I looked out to affirm the fruits of my dashing save and saw the hulking blue and white mass right outside the window... and keep on going. What the hell? Why didnt it stop? Was it some sort of sick reciprocation for me not getting my trash out early enough? Did I not put the trash receptacles the proper distance from the curb? was the blue one too close to the brown one? Did I mess up? Why didnt he stop?!

Then,as I'm pondering this while finishing getting dressed I hear it again...the trash man, he's coming back! He'd realized that he skipped us by accident! So I look out again and zoom.. thundering blue and white mass just keeps on going. If not to pick up my trash, which he's drived passed twice now, where was he going? Why didnt he stop again?

Now It's about 5 minutes later and I'm pouring my coffee and grabbing my bag and ready to go and what do I hear? ...Yes- Mr.Not-picking-up-our-trash man... Again. By now I've seen and heard stink face trash head drive passed, forward and beep in reverse passed my blue and brown waste and recycling. I ended up leaving but I was baffled. Did I fuck up...would they still be there hot, full and stinking when I got home?

Fast forward to 5:00. I'm pulling onto my street and I see them sitting there still. Oh no! I think to myself "that bastard trash man didnt empty our trash to spite me". I park, and go check the trash bins. They were empty. What a relief. But if I didnt screw up, if I didnt put them out too late, or not position them correctly for the automated robot arm that does all the work now, what the hell was the garbage truck doing driving around my block and passed my house forward and backwards all morning?

What kind of screwed up route does he have? Is the driver just an idiot and cant plan out a route that doesnt require back tracking and retracing the same path? Just seems like an awful waste of fuel and man hours to be doing that. Not to mention noisy. Diesel engines, reverse beebs and hydraulic lifts is not something the average person wants to hear for 20 minutes at 6:30 in the morning.

Does anyone else have a retarded garbage situation like me?

Documentaries

Documentaries are cool. It's like learning for people who hate to read.

Here's a few documentaries that I've watched recently and recommend for all of you.

In the Realms of the Unreal

By day, Henry Darger was a reclusive janitor who had few -- if any -- friends. But at night, he became a literary artist with a unique vision. Darger's 15,000-page novel is a wonderland of imagination as it details the exploits of seven angelic sisters who lead a rebellion against child-enslaving men. Featuring the voices of Dakota Fanning and Larry Pine and the work of talented animators, this film tells the story of Darger's hidden world. - trailer

My Kid Could Paint That

Amir Bar-Lev directs this thought-provoking documentary about a precocious 4-year-old artist whose abstract works have drawn critical comparisons with modernist greats such as Kandinsky, Picasso and Pollack -- and whose talents have already profited her more than $300,000. Is her gift with a paintbrush just an illusion, or is she truly an artistic visionary trapped in the body of a child?
-trailer

Popaganda The Art & Crimes of Ron English

In this critically acclaimed documentary (filmed in an appropriately guerilla style), director-producer Pedro Carvajal captures vigilante artist Ron English as he makes a series of thought-provoking -- and sometimes just plain odd -- statements. The film also serves as a biography, chronicling English's evolution from a simple painter to an activist-instigator who skewers just about everything -- from Ronald McDonald to the war in Iraq. -trailer

Born Rich

The heir to the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical empire, Jamie Johnson, points his documentary lens in the direction of some privileged children who stand to inherit millions in the not-so-distant future. Johnson manages to pry revelations from heirs with some famous last names -- Trump, Bloomberg and Vanderbilt, to name a few. They speak frankly about money, family pressure and their often extravagant lifestyles. -excerpt

and a few notable ones from the past year or so.

Iraq For Sale (the war profiteers)

Private contractors are getting rich while everybody else is suffering: This is the point director Robert Greenwald makes -- passionately -- in this 2006 documentary. Using whistleblower testimony, firsthand accounts, financial records and classified documents, Greenwald levels charges of greed, corruption and incompetence against private contractors and shows the subsequent devastating effect on Americans and Iraqis. -trailer

Who Killed the Electric Car'

Amid ever-increasing gas prices, this documentary delves into the short life of the GM EV1 electric car -- once all the rage in the mid-1990s and now fallen by the roadside. How could such an efficient, green-friendly vehicle fail to transform our garages and skies? Through interviews with government officials, former GM employees and concerned celebs (such as EV1 driver Mel Gibson), Chris Paine (former EV1 owner) seeks to answer the question. -trailer

Jesus Camp

This riveting Oscar-nominated documentary offers an unfiltered look at a revivalist subculture where devout Christian youngsters are being primed to deliver the fundamentalist community's religious and political messages. Building an evangelical army of tomorrow, the Kids on Fire summer camp in Devil's Lake, N.D., is dedicated to deepening the preteens' spirituality and sowing the seeds of political activism as they're exhorted to "take back America for Christ." -trailer

Helvetica

We use it every day on our computers, we see it on street signs -- and we take it for granted. Now, Gary Hustwit's unique documentary introduces us to Helvetica, whose readability has made it the most popular font in the world. Interviews with designers and artists offer insight into the development, use and universal acceptance of Helvetica as the typeface of choice for everything from writing letters to creating corporate logos. -trailer

and these are all available on Netflix. Most of them you can watch instantly online.
www.netflix.com

also if you are not a netflix subscriber, sometimes you can do a Google video search and find full length versions.
Google Video

It's Friday You Bastards!

So today started out OK, I showered last night so i could have more time in the morning. Doing that leaves me with wicked bed-head. And since i need a haircut, the Froda is kickin' today!

check it out!

also as I was driving out of town, I saw that the gas prices went up 3 cents from yesterday. you motherfucking moneygrubbing cocklickingpriceraisigscum bagsonsabitches. (say that five times real fast!)







then as I was in line waiting for the McGriddle i was to be Lovin' later, I heard the DJ on the Hot R&B and Soul radio station they always have playing say something about Brittney Spears being spotted in a schwanky resturant at dinner. Her new mutant baby shit its pants and instead of going to the bathroom to use one of those rad Baby Table things they have... she whipped it out right at the table. Now, driving with your baby on your lap sucks for you and your baby, but changing a shitty diaper at the table of a resturant sucks for everyone. Brittney you win. You win the White Trash Olympics hands down! congrats on that you fucking piece of dog puke.

speaking of dog puke... I was downloading the pics from my phone and found this in my gallery.

??????

what the fuck is this? does my phone have a colonoscopy feature I didnt know about? so fuckin' wierd. can you guess what this could be? ...other than the insides of my colon. I'd imagine mine would have more poo in it. and mayby my car keys.

oh yea for all you drinkers out there, Happy St. Patricks day. make sure to buy lots of Irish racial epitaphs and drink heavily. When I was a kid our class went to the park to look for 4 leaf clovers. Since I grew up (and still live in) an area known as "The Cancer Belt", cleverly nicknamed for the 6 major oil refineries that pepper the area, we found many 4 leaf clovers, and some 5 and 6 leafed ones too. bonus!
I didnt wear green today because im not catholic and dont believe in Saints, I'm not Irish, and I'm not a drinker. bugger off you hooligans.

and get off my lawn!

Eulogy for a Friend.

First gear.
Last weekend the Clutch master cylinder on my Isuzu Rodeo went out. Saturday, after replacing stairs and shit on my porch my dad and I replaced it. cost me a few hours of daylight and about $60. I also replaced the headlights.

Headlight out, Clutch going out. Not that big of a deal but i think my car was trying to tell me, for the last time, "LET ME DIE"

You see, Suzi and me. Thats what i call my car, Suzi.. SuzISUZU. Suzi and me have been through a lot together. 2 blown clutches, new tires, 3 or 4 major accidents. I left her for dead after a major head on collision in 2001 only to be brought back to life in 2004. then in 2006 she let out her first cry. The head gasket blew. this was a big one. cost almost $900 and countless days and greasy hands to fix. but we fixed it. we've had a few minor ups and downs since but nothing major. Still I should have listened.

I think I was deafened to her cries by my dad. He's a mechanic so he'd rather fix something than replace it. Here i am driving this wrecked, limping pile of metal and plastic that is trying to tell me she wants to just go in peace.

Second Gear.
Tuesday, with a working clutch and 2 working headlights I headed out to work. Halfway to work I start to hear a rattling sound. I chalked it up to some of the clutch fluid lines being knocked lose when we fixed the master cylinder. so i kept on truckin. A few miles further and POP!.. FIZZZ

Something blew in my engine... steam and smoke are billowing out of my hood. I find a place to pull over and call my dad.

8 hours later, when my dad got off work he met me where i left Suzi. In a parking lot in Lafayette. Its now dark, we've poured 3 gallons of water into the radiator. Lets see what happens. My dad takes out one of the spark plugs to see if the cylinder has compression. "turn it over" i turn the key ever so slightly.. POW a blast of water comes shooting out of my engine.. NOT GOOD.

At this point, Mr.Fix it declares Suzi DOA. Another blown head gasket. We weigh all our options and decide we're gonna have to get a tow truck to take it home.

3rd gear.
while waiting for the tow truck ("45-an hour") we get decide to get sandwiches at the Quizno's right next to where Suzi took her final breath.

If you read the noggins you know that Kirk hates the Quizno's but it was there and my dad was into the idea.

As my dad went to the bathroom i was looking over thier lame menu and asked what the peppercorn sauce was. he squirted some on a lid and let me try it. It tasted like bacon grease. and not in a good way. My dad comes back and we decide on the Pastrami somethingorother. they cant just have regular names. everything has pazzaz. We got it with american instead of Swiss and asked what kind of sauce they put on it. He said it was a pepper mustard or something. but it was beige with black spots. mustard isnt supposed to be beige. we asked if we could get regular mustard instead but, and get this shit, THEY DONT HAVE REGULAR MUSTARD!!!!!!!! what the holy fuck is a SANDWICH SHOP doing with no Mustard?!?!?!? MIND FUCKING BOGGLING

He continues, "we have honey mustard, and bourbon honey mustard" why? god damnit in the name of all that is logically holy would you not have mustard?

In my head, as he was showing me the slimy yellow squirt bottles of everything but mustard i was thinking "FUCK THIS, FUCK QUIZNOS... FOREVER..."

so we get back to the car to wait for the tow truck and unwrap our "Toasted Signature Subs" and they arent toasty at all, they are soggy fucking wet messes. must have been the greasy ass puke mustard sauce he drowned our bread in.

so yea. now that we're clear of Quiznos property my thoughts were now verbalized... FUCK THAT PLACE! FUCK QUIZNOS. THAT WAS IT.. NO MUSTARD DUDE, FUCK YOU FOREVER..NEVER AGAIN.. Not even if i'm stranded in the desert and theres an oasis with nothing but SHITno's.. I would starve to death!!!"

thats it guys. the Kirkness will never eat that piece of shit mustard discriminator ever again.

4th gear.
So the truck came, scraped Suzi's carcass off the pavement, took her to the final resting place of many of my family's cars. My grandparents side yard. They have this large car sized area next to thier garage that is fenced in with a big gate. It's kind of like Hospice for cars. Sometimes they pull through, sometimes they dont.

After we get the car in there and the tow truck is gone, my dad says. "you know, since we did it once before it wouldnt take more than an hour to get that head off and replace the ...." before he could even finish the sentence i said NO. "I'm done. I'm through with that car. I dont want to pop that hood ever again!"

5th gear.
So now, my broke ass is on the hunt for a new car. wish me luck. In the meantime i'm driving my brothers 96 Suburban. That thing basically runs on Ca$h. it gets like 2 blocks to the gallon. and with the way gas prices are going up this is not the car to be driving.

thats it. all i have is 5 gears. Just like little Suzi. Rest in peace baby.

SuzIsuzu
Beloved Car and Friend.

1993-2007

Crazy! but that's how it goes.

"goes" rhymes with "foes". thanks Ozzy.

It's been a week. Here's some pictures.

"top o the muffin to ya"

I took some liberty with this sign. tee hee

cruise ship pirates .. its a real problem actually

holy gas! this was before i got my measly 8 gallons

righty is back baby!

ham taste

this shelf was gay.

ketchup dance

All of these food pics were taken at Dollar Tree or Grocery Outlet. Basically a place where products go to die... for bargain prices! But what kind of concerns me is that this ice cream pictured below, which appears at first glance to be Dryer's, is actually Edy's. Which is, as I mentioned in a previous post, the East coast version of the same brand. Now, why and how did it end up in a California grocery store?

With Cheesecake Diva Ice Cream for $1??? who cares!

Today is hopefully my last visit to Dr.Richard's office. good luck me!

weekend.............GO!