Mar 27, 2009

Paula Abdul's Mustache and hyphens.

Another Friday. Who's watching American Idol? Who else hates that Meagan Joy (aka Megan Corkery) what the fuck is up with the name change? and what the fuck is up with her stupid little shimmy she does for EVERY FUCKING SONG? I call it the CorkScrew.. except now she's changed her name so its not as relevant. She's giving full sleeve tattoos a bad name. GO HOME. America, stop voting for her.

Matt G. who is legit was in the bottom 2 last night. Seacrest asked Randy why he thinks America voted that way. I wanted him to say "Because America are fucking stupid ass-fucked morons Ryan" but he didnt.

anyway, here's some eyeball massage.


As if I needed more evidence of how brain-raped america is... look at this loveley urban culture spill-over. GRILLZ candy. 2 wrongs dont make a right.

I drew a rat. Inspired by Bobby.


fancy Thai menus. pretty rad-tacular.
(note: there were no photos)

Ok, FUCK YOU BAY ST. I've pretty much hated this bull-shit mall since it opened. Everything here is overpriced and they make you pay for parking. Then I see this...
NO you fuckers.. $2 parking is NOT a god-damned bargain. FREE parking is a fucking bargain. shove it up your ass BAY st!

Inspired by Spring. and anti-histamines


This sign was a fucking piece of work. It was at a fancy Sonoma Winery. You'd think they could pay someone to make a fucking sign. Instead, take a 72dpi 20 pixel wide clip art .gif and stretch it to fit an 8.5 x 11" frame. I know it was a .gif because they actually printed the file name with the image. That's why it looks like Johnny 5 shit it out of his anal-fax machine.

Stalefish sent me some swag! Deck and 2 Hoodies!


This is Tom. He's thinking about getting into Cock-Fighting. Dont judge him.
(jokes)

Speaking of HANDICAP. I didnt create this, or photo-graph it. I found it on the net. But it is fucking rad and I wanted to share it with you.


Here's some more LOST-Related photoshop goofs.

Jack was assigned to "The Shed" in the episode before last.

Sawyer completely loses his vision in the year 3000
wheel-of-misfortune



ok that's all i got. taco to you later.

Mar 26, 2009

Jack's Back


So yea, Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid are back on the island. but its 1977. last night's ep kinda sucked.

time travel sucks too.
and before you say anything, Ben can't die.
the rules wont allow it
rule #1: what happens, happens.
rule #2: if what happened doesnt happen, time will course correct.
rule #3: see rule #1.

its dumb but that's whats been established by Mrs.Hawking and Daniel Faraday. Basically, you cant change history, if you try, time will make sure it happens how it did.
it doesnt really make sense, but those are the rules we've been dealt. So, to recap, if Sayid kills kid Ben, the universe will implode into itself.

Mar 20, 2009

Spring is in the air.

...and in my lungs and throat and nose and eyes.. I fucking hate spring.



Dont do meth, or your mom will turn into a bad Alice Cooper impersonator.
(as seen on A&E's Intervention)


This is what I'm talking about. WINN CO is cheaper than the suggested discount price advertised on the bag.


el gato, creepin.



the douche owner of our company bought a 15 foot stallion statue for his ranch and had it delivered to my work. I wish i had a ranch. I have an idea where you can spend that blow-it-on-statues money.


Yea.. LOST.. i dunno man. You've got me hooked now reel me in.

Sliders Humor!


new font.


I shaved my beard. I think it makes me look fatter tho. whatta you think?


I drew a Saturn and a Tranny.

I hate to end on that note, but that's all I gots.
happy spring, have a good one.

Mar 18, 2009

15 Minutes

Well, it appears that my 15 Minutes of internet fame is over. A new batch of fonts came out on Dafont.com, thus pushing Pee Pants Script off the main page and into obscurity on page 13. and its not even in the top 100. I wonder how dafont calculates the top 100. It's gotta be frequency of DL's per day or something because overnight some font no one's ever heard of is #1... much like my font was. I still have 140,763 total downloads. and 518 DL's from yesterday aint bad. It's not 6000 daily, but its something.

this is the activity chart for kirkshelton.com as of today. so sad. If you still happen to stumble on me randomly and end up reading this, thanks for the good times!



I'm working on several more fonts. Hopefully they'll be good.... er... I mean, hopefully the luck of the draw will let them end up on the top of the main page of dafont.com and I'll get famous again.

Mar 13, 2009

Friday the 13th.... part 2 of 3

yea, here we go again. another Friday the 13th. too bad Jason and Psych blew their loads on Feb 13th. Now there's nothing really special about it. Apparently we're gonna have another in Nov. that only happens every 11 years. Who cares.

here's some pix.




I made another cover: Oordeel Heikant is a dutch composer who wrote scores for many Dutch films in the late 60's. In 1988, while a guest on a Dutch sponsored Titanic wreckage manned submersible dive, suffered major motor function loss from a head injury when the submersible's stabilizer malfunctioned.

"Life is Consciousness" is his first composition since the accident. He wrote it using the aide of a brain wave activated robotic device and state-of-the-art music composition software.


Loco car fashion.


doodlies...
This is the drawer at work where i stash all my doodles and stuff. its FULL.. if you'd like a closer look, they're ALL in my paperback glossy cover 110 page full color art book available at lulu.com for only $32.98 plus shipping & handling.


This is Me and Dustin's new imaginary 2 piece grind-core band.


what the fuck are you people doing?

raaarr!!!




what's funny tho, is that i drew this last week, and last night this was on 30 Rock...
I love that fucking show!!!! so random.

engrish

no engres


paper to digital


more L O S T goofs since there was a repeat this week.. w t f ABC? I thought we had an agreement about no more repeats.

this is the Island's original security system.

Happy friday the 13th part 2 of 3. Dont be Stuperstitios. The way that word looks makes me think of Doritos.

DORITOS!
Ahh isnt the internet awesome. Google is like a box of Chocolates.

Mar 11, 2009

Album Cover Game

Someone posted a fun game/challenge for designer nerds on a forum i go to. Here's the rules..

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it.


I've been getting a kick (and wasting time) playing along. Here's my submissions.
Some of us have started putting little descriptions with the images too.

James Street is a rap-rock group from the suburbs.


Montana Bulgaria is a throwback to Violent Femmes and Dead Milkmen but not as good. Their song Fences climbed to # 8 on the charts in 2000 thanks to a catchy hook and a clever video.
Demopolis Historic Business District is a High School Gore-Grind Death Metal band from Demopolis, Idaho. So, its not just a clever name. This CD was self-made and more or less unheard by anyone other than their 7 fans. They broke up after 3 shows. Garret and Mike reformed later under the name Squrrelicide and had moderate success in the greater Demopolis area.

Guardromon was a European electro-pop outfit that no one outside of Europe ever heard. They had one song that got popular in Belgium but that was about it. Jan, the singer produces records still but the rest of the band faded into blue collar obscurity.


Waiting For You was a DuranDuran rip off band. They totally sucked but got a record deal because the drummers step brother was in Kajagoogoo and helped them out. Nick from Kajagoogoo sings the chorus vocals on the title track "to acquire it"


LIST OF PRISONS IN FUJUAN PROVINCE. what a name! they put out 2 experimental records in 1995 that challenged the definition of what "music" is. "Plenty of work to do" was an hour and a half of banging, screaming and insects. Their sophomore release entitled "pneumatics" was released on LP, side one was hissing sounds accompanied by distorted recordings of college lectures. side 2 was amplified sounds of bodies slapping together while having intercourse.


Central High School - Future Without Fear. what a piece of shit cd this was. This is basically a demo recorded in a top-notch studio with the best gear and an almost unlimited budget, but with the worst fucking band ever. Rich kids with instruments trying to be Staind or Godsmack. no thanks!

Vertou was a German pop group with a really hot female singer who later released a few European hits as a solo artist. In 2004 she went to Hollywood to try acting. She was on an episode of Gray's Anatomy once. "a manner of traveling" is their big 2009 comeback album. with all original members except for sean the keyboard player who was working in the World Trade Center on 9-11. There's a really lame dedication to him and 9-11 on the inside cover.


Ron is one of those crazy do whatever he wants extreme types of guys. In the early 90's on his 48th birthday he decided to try music. He put this CD out on his own. It's mostly cheesy guitar jams with horrible lyrics, he wrote, about his adventures. He sings ok for never have sung before.

MOTH RULES!! They're a speed metal band-turned death metal. They came out toward the end of the 90's thrash movement and no one noticed so they got a little faster and more demented. I think "more often than not, unconsidered" is their best CD so far.



Mischliffen is Belgium's answer to Evanescence. The singer is equally attractive and the band equally sucks.


Kimsey. Named after the lead vocalist Veronica Kimsey is a reggae inspired R&B group from Texas. They made one album on Capitol records but it didnt do much. I heard they're doing pretty well on the Austin college bar scene.

Lionel Edwards has a PHD in physics at MIT and a passion for music, His style could best be described as folky rock but the song arrangments and lyrics were very complicated. People who were drawn to this album based on its overall vibe eventually couldnt handle all the off time signatures and lyrics about quanum mechanics and outrageuos political theories. Sandpiper records eventually dropped him when he got into contract disputes. The rumor is he wanted a clause for distribution of his album on other planets.



These guys are a trip. It's an all Samoan country western ska band with a ukulele player. It actually kind of works.


This group consists of three 15 year old sisters and an 18 year old girl cousin who sings. It's disney channel over produced teen angst crap. I hear they're getting a TV show on the Disney Channel. I cant wait!

Hippie Jam band from Eugene Oregon.


Resurrection is one of those misleading band names. To them, in the basement at Lance's house on a friday night sounded cool, but to me, I want them to be heavy metal. Anyway, they're a mid 80's pop/rock Huey Lewis inspired band that got big in the California Central Valley area and landed a small indie record deal.

Indian Folk music. I found this CD at this Indian Bazzar store that's near my girlfriends dentist office. I was brousing around and found this. It's cool if your into trancey tabla music. They have some crazy spices there too.




Apeejay Noida is a female solo vocalist with an interesting voice. She pulls influences from 60's R&B and her Indian heritage. It's uplifting, happy, girl music.


Contemporary, classical and original offerings from a warm hearted Slovenian immigrant grandfather. His son helped him make the cover and recorded it with some Mac software.

Worth Mcdougald is an animator for Dreamworks but his passion has always been in music. His debut album is a fun time. It's all self produced and he plays all the instruments. Best classified as indie, college, experimental, humor, rock, electronica and dance.


Wasting Time is a complicated post-prog-math-core metal trio from Arkansas. Their guitarist, Seth is working on a phd in music and their drummer, Jay won the fastest blast beat competition at Guitar Center in 2007. This album pretty much just shreds. they're opening for Dillinger Escape Plan in South America next summer.




Jazz sax legend Rupert Randolph and Punk pioneer Eric Wabash joined forces on this instrumental modern and aggressive jazz/fusion masterpiece for Cutter Records in 1979. If you find this on Ebay.. get it!!!! its rare.


*******
that's all for now. I'd post the link so you can see all the others' submissions but you have to register to see it. here's some of tom's tomledin.com
thanks!