Vote for the noggins!

hey fucking shit, someone (anja) nominated us for a Bloggers Choice Award!
theres no way in hell I'll win but fuck it, here's the thingy to do the thing to vote or whatever.



so hey you dirty pieces of shit, show your support for the noggins while its still free.

Don't make me put a donation button up.

now that i've said that i've also been nominated for the Most Obnoxious Blogger category. I dont know if thats a good thing. if i cant win at being good i can try to win at being annoying.

3 pussies and a couple of boners

hey shit fucks. sorry for the lack of bloggage this week. The internet sucked i guess.

I got naked and had my balls touched by an old man in a wheelchair yesterday. you're jealous.

here's some pictures.

LOL! they have scraper hot wheels!

i hate work.

i drew skulls!

skateboarding is jumping the shark. right now.

this is the kind of cuteness that could wipe out an entire race of people somewhere.

see all those Handi and 15 min only parking spaces? well before the assholes at my ghetto Safeway decided to remodel, these used to be where i parked every time i went there. the rest of the store is rearranged to. fuckers.

interesting duct work you have there.

and the crazy cat that lives at Jesse's house. he just started going nuts and then started scratching the sliding glass door.



MEOW!

I want my old Togo's back.

So I stumbled upon this blog that rated logo redesigns. it was pretty funny. I got a kick out of if because i'm a designer and i've done logos in the past. check it out.
http://www.aclevercookie.com/the-best-and-worst-logo-remakes-of-the-century/

anyway, i followed a link over to a similar site and found this atrocity.
What the fuck Togo's? a guy surfing on a sandwich? very hip and California of you. is this to appeal to your new national market? Is that why you have gay bread now?

I have to get some shitty wheat roll with oats on it. what the fuck is a few sprinkles of oats supposed to do for me? help lower my cholesterol that i just raised by eating a hot pastrami sandwich? Youre not Subway, Togo's. you dont need a fancy selection of bread to sell your food. And while i'm on the subject, youre not Quizno's, Subway. Your sandwiches are mediocre and people expect that. You're not fooling anyone having that toaster in there.

Anyway, after I tell them "No mayonnaise" even tho technically a #9 isn't supposed to have it, they cheerfully ask "would you like chips and a drink?" what they don't say, but what you think the cheer implies the opposite of is "at full price" then you're like .."i just spent $10 on a 6" sandwich a small coke and some busted chips"

when you get your old logo back.. please bring back rye bread and meal deals thank you.

FPB #41

this is the 41st. Friday Photo Blog. i know 41 is not really an anniversary to celebrate but I thought i would count em and see. its 41. been boring you with this shit since the end of 2006.

here's some more crap to look at.

i saw this the other day. a new paperclip shape? what was so wrong with the old shape?

here's these assholes again. so, they painted. and i'm sure had to remove the letters to do so. you think they fixed the signs? of course not. one still says Furniture oasis and the other on, Oasis Furniture. I want to kill these idiots.

COCK FIGHT ACTION FIGURE SET!

i couldnt tell if this was supposed to be for dogs or humans.
i think they use that same photo on cans of Alpo.

HOLY bible Batman!

i often forget that there is a almost brand new condition skateboard under the bed that i got meg like 5 years ago.

I want to call my band this. they always make fun of me when i bring it up

MAIL MAN COAT!! i love this thing. but it never gets cold enough here to wear it.

you can snack on DEEEEEZ NUTZ!!!

happy 41st FPB!

eat shit and die!

extra special bonus for today.. here's me and dustin writing a new song. its mostly just me giving my "O" face.

PEZ you fuckers!

If you know me, you know about my closet obsession with PEZ dispensers. Since around 1991 i've been casually collecting them. I dont know why. Whenever I see one i dont have, I buy it. I dont want to get into buying old or highly collectible ones because then i'll end up blowing all my money on rare Crystal ball pez from the 60's and shit. I dont wanna become that. So, i limit myself to new ones that i dont have yet. Since 91, there has been a lot of new PEZ dispensers released. I have most of them but a few have escaped my grasp.

Another advantage for me and people close to me (thanks Meg!) is that in knowing about my PEZ fixation, they have an easy go-to gift for me. but you have to be careful because you could easily be getting me repeat PEZ. here's a helpful hint... I only have the Clown and Homer Simpson in the giant PEZ dispensers.

Anyway, here's my collection of all things PEZ.

notice the PEZ pillow?

and some PEZ themed art i've created.

just in case you're curious, yes I used a PEZ font for this. I have it installed on my computers.

a couple packs of new-gen Garbage Pail Kids found their way into my bins...

well now you know.

E-Gay

well, i've finally taken the suggestion of all those people who keep saying .. "why dont you put your stuff on ebay" and opened an ebay account.


I put my painting Canadian Bacon up for auction last night just to test it out. so far, no hits.
here's what it looks like if you dont remember. It's one of my favorites.

Bidding starts at $80. i hope that isnt too high. click here to bid!

I'll start going through my closet and pulling out stuff to put up for auction. Anyway, Ebay is a trip. I didn't know they charged for all the stupid little shit
you want bold text? that'll be 40 cents. you want a large preview of your picture? oh snap thats like $20. Being the cheap ass that I am, I did the free version of everything.

Watch out for egay scumbaggery tho. I went to edit my listing and when it took me to the options page all the high price options were pre-clicked for me. if i wasn't looking i might have just accepted 30 dollars worth of options. Thats like, um.. fucked up.

anyway if you ever wanted to buy my art. here's your chance! ... tell a friend.

Deep Thoughts by ME!

Sometimes i just think about stuff, maybe way too much. Stuff like....

when the entire snack machine is sold out and all that is left is a full row of pretzels.. that should tell the snack machine people something.. dude, stop ordering pretzels no one likes them!

and stuff like...
Sometimes i do random Google image searches... often i stumble on the image diary of comeplete nerds with entire directories of jpgs of nerds, nerds' friends and nerds' nerdy things that he nerdally takes pictures of. I find it fascinating. does that make me a complete nerd too?

and...
When something bad happens, a lot of times people say "it could be worse" to make you feel better. all i can think is "it gets worse than this?!" and that sucks to think about even more.

ok thats all i got for now.
here's a picture of a small dog trying to fuck a big dog.

make it stop!

Brentwood... holy fucking shit.

So I made the treck out to my buddy's skate shop in Brentwood on Saturday.

5 years ago Brentwood and most of East Contra Costa County was a barren wasteland an hour from anything. now its the new suburbia. It's like a spaceship came and beamed down shiny new pre-planned communities. its fucking weird!

Lone Tree Way is the main road through it and for miles and miles it used to live up to its name. now its one huge strip mall after another...blocks and blocks of new trendy chain restaurants, department stores. Hair and nail salons, dog groomers and everything else any mid to upper middle class family would need or want.

Every few blocks theres a gap in the shopping centers to allow for new subdivisions with a mexican dancing with a sign that says "new models open now!!" in the shape of arrows that point to the entrance to the maze of skaking roads driveways and culdesacs. some times with only fresh patches of dirt and a retaining wall visible from the main road.

Highway 4 goes East from Martinez and kind of ends out there turning into 2 lane roads that wind through old farming towns. I noticed they're building a new "Brentwood/Hwy4 Bypass" freeway for the white people. So they dont have to drive through Oakley, which has now become the new little mexico. a haven for all the slave.. er. i mean workers that service the new white peoples huge plastic homes.

its very interesting. i mean they'd have to bring the city life to brentwood, because its so fucking far away from everything. they just build the same microcosms in every suburb. Rita has a theory about this

She thinks that suburban planners are all white men. They plan nice homes around malls and the same damn restaurants, so that women never have to go to adjoining suburbs. its the same shit everywhere you go. Its designed so that its less likely for mistresses to run into wives. The white guys can fuck their secretaries without worrying about their wives showing up downtown. Because, all the shopping and bullshit that they need/want is right there in their suburb.
suburban sprawl can be chalked up to the age old need for strange


Interesting theory.

anyway, i just google earthed the skate shop in brentwood and that town is so new all it shows for the whole shopping complex its in, is a dirt patch. wow that whole area is still plotted out and under construction. the hybrid map shows roads that hadn't even been built yet.

crazy suburban sprawl.

sorry if this blog sucked. i felt the need to post something for postings sake.