Hey Pot Cops, Meth and Heroin Are Worse.

I live in what's known as the "emerald triangle" in northern California.  In the city I live, meth and heroin are becoming a pretty huge problem, yet, the authorities here have a gigantic boner for busting pot grows. There's surely a problem with illegal weed production and especially in protected forests. But take a walk down 4th street in Eureka, or the Roach Motels along Broadway.  These people are not on weed.  Every other story in the local news is about a traffic stop that led to narcotics. Not weed.. meth and junk. But millions of dollars are being spent on busting farmers. There's even TV shows glorifying DEA and local drug task force units using helicopters and military grade gear to essentially find plants and cut them down. In counties where most of the big logging and fishing industries have all but dried up, they rely on tourism for revenue, but when the streets are littered with drugged out zombies, people aren't going to want to keep coming here. 

In a time in history when public opinion, not only locally but nationally is leaning towards legalization of marijuana, I think law enforcement efforts need to focus on the real drug problems that are becoming more and more prevalent in these scenic quaint communities.  In my personal opinon I think that they just go after the easy target. Pot farms are everywhere up here, and ripe for the picking, usually run by peaceful people trying to make a living, selling a harmless (compared to alcohol) drug to people. It gives these cop cowboys an excuse to play with their toys. To have a sense of accomplishment, and feel like rockstars. But really, not really helping the problem at large. The war on drugs, especially pot, is pretty pointless. And if we're being honest, a war on drugs, if it can be won at all is probably going to be won in South America, not in the farms of Humboldt.  As it stands, just like the Terrorists are winning the war on terror, Drugs are winning the war on drugs. Actually, who's really winning both wars is the companies selling all of the guns, riot gear, tanks, laser sights, bullets, missiles, fighter planes, etc. They're winning everything... and guess who's paying for it all?  Yup, you and me.

Wendy, We Hardly Knew Ye

When I moved here 6 months ago there was a defunct Wendy's right as you drive into town. On it's sign marquee it said "Thanks Humboldt". It was kind of sad but not really being a huge Wendy's fan I didn't care much and was fairly confident that surely, as with most major fast food chains there would be another one somewhere near by. In all this time being here I never really gave Wendy's a second thought. Until a few days ago when I saw bulldozers tearing down the distinctly "wendy's" looking building. Now I guess you could say "yay for progress" but I kind of got nostalgic for those square patties.

Fast forward to today, when I see this post on VICE.

I'd seen the commercials, and it piqued my curiosity. And if I were back in the Bay Area that curiosity would sit and marinate until the serendipity of me being hungry and looking for a place to eat, and me passing by the next Wendy's restaurant at the same time occurred. ( the locations of which all seared into the fat kid centers of my memory like a flame broiled patty). But after reading this article, which is an awesomely horrible review of the sandwich, it brought that curiosity to the surface of my brain's taste desire region.

"Now that I’ve been sitting here with the burger for around ten minutes the stink of it is really beginning to change. It reminds me more of trash now, but maybe trash someone left out in a nice garden. There are little clumps of either the beef or the bacon in my teeth and gums that appear while I’m kind of sucking my mouth to feel the generally garbage-y feeling that begins to accompany the stink. "  -Vice.com

I know it's bad for me. I know it's awful and low quality.. but look at that bun? c'mon.  Subconsciously my brain started Googling itself for all known Wendy's locations in it's database.. and quickly striking them down based on my location.

2243 LOVERIDGE ROAD PITTSBURG, CA 94565    no!

5943 PACHECO BLVD PACHECO, CA 94553 (925) 686-2790  no!

3455 ALHAMBRA AVEMARTINEZ, CA 94553  no!

Nope, you live 300 miles from those locations now. Damn! Then my brain naturally went to the only one I've seen since I've been here in Eureka but shit, not only was it closed.. it was being bulldozed to rubble as I sit there and drool over some stupid burger. So I quickly search the real internet for the nearest Wendy's location.  There's gotta be one somewhere in the surrounding metropolises of Humboldt County... Fortuna, McKinleyville... they have to have a Wendy's right?

Wrong!

100 fucking miles away? Well there goes that dream....crushed in a pile of concrete and steel, just like the only Wendy's within 100 miles of me.

Best drive-by photo I could get.  

And before you say "why you goin to crappy fast food anyway, there's way better burger places"  There is. Actually there's some REALLY good burger places up here.. but.. they are not Wendy's and they are not the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger. This whole incident, as trivial as it is, really made me realize the things I took for granted when I lived in the "big city". After all, modern convenience isnt really why people come to the heart of Coastal Redwoods. Now that I'm here, I have to just appreciate where I am, and try to not be so burdened by the things I've left behind.  On that note: Currently planning a trip back home. List of things to see include, In-N-Out, Togos, Ikea and if there's time the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger.

UPDATE: I heard from a reliable source (guy who works at Carls Jr) that they will be rebuilding and reopening a new Wendy's. I also read [somewhere] that it closed originally because of ADA compliance issues. I dont know if any of this is actually true but I thought I'd mention it.

Cash Only - Please Rob Us.

Often, and very annoyingly we go to pay for our food, beer, or whatever and they say "oh sorry we don't accept cards, cash only" WTF? are you a drug dealer or a prostitute? Two years ago I could accept cards on my fucking cell phone, why cant a business do it? There is absolutely no excuse that I can think of.  Maybe several years ago, when there was no mobile card swipe apps, and the credit card companies would rape your ass with charges to accept cards, but to have a Square account that takes like 3% of each purchase is worth it for the convenience of your customers. Right? Who the fuck carries cash anyway? Also, you'd think cash-only businesses would be a nice target for robbers. Think about it, 100% of your purchases are cash... and stealing a drawer full of ATM receipts isn't going to buy you your next meth fix.  Not to mention, crooks know everyone in your line has dough on them to pay at your stupid cash-only business. I saw this article today and it got me thinking. 

Business Owner Wields Knife to Fend off Gun Toting Robber
Arcata Police Dept. Press Release:On Wednesday July 24th 2013, at approximately 6:15 pm, officers from the Arcata Police Department responded to the La Chiquita Taqueria in the 700 Blk of 10th Street for the report of an attempted robbery.  -LoastCoastOutpost 

 La Chiquita Taqueria is a fucking taco truck. How many taco trucks do you know that take cards? Hardly any.  So I was thinking.. get everyone on Square or some equivalent of mobile card swipe technology. And just not accept cash. I'm not sure if it's even legal but if a place can turn away your perfectly good debit card, they can turn away your robber bait cash. "what about people who dont have credit cards or bank accounts" :-(   ... screw em, just like douche bag inconvenience  store owner turning me away for not hauling around my mad stacks of cash around with me.

Make it known that you don't take cash, and have no cash on hand..you'll never get robbed!

"SUCKS" and "DUH"

The words "sucks" and "duh" have been accepted as being more or less politically correct now. But why? On the surface they are pretty innocuous, but so are words like "gay" and "retard" by basic definition. What's interesting to me is where I think they came from. 

Saying something sucks is basically like saying something is gay. The origins of saying "you suck" came from what I can best guess boys or men insulting other men.  Saying "you suck" is a shortened version of saying " hey you, heterosexual male, you are gay and suck other men's penises" . Somehow it escaped the same non politically correct connotations as saying something or someone is "gay". But to me, if you break it down, it's kind of the same thing. 

Similarly, the sayings "duh" and "derr" are widely accepted.  Again, in my opinion these terms are most likely derived from making fun of mentality disabled people. Growing up if kids wanted to make fun of someone for saying something stupid, kids would say "duhhh" and shake their hand at their chest as to mimic someone with a mental or motor function divisibility. As we got older, it eventually became just saying "duh" or "derr" which by all means, is still just as offensive. So, why has it remained OK to say?  

I'm no expert but I think society either missed the connection, or has latched onto "gay" and "retard" so hard that they didn't bother to notice. 
Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Digital Wallpaper!

I was sick of the stock wallpapers that come with Android, and never really found stuff I liked on the web... occasionally I'd use a photo but those get boring too so I made some cool geometric-ish wallpapers.. which I'm sure I'll get bored of too.  (i've made them before for my old phone(s)) 

Feel free to download them and use them. but please let me know what you think in the comments.

ArgyleX

DigitalFire

DigitalSea

ToxicBurst

DroidBurst

Mountainz

Patchwk

PhoeniX

PinkShatter

YellowShatter

 Thanks!

French Sex

I was checking out my stats here on the ol' Blogger and found that the top search keyword for my blog is:
 سكس فرنسي 

I was like "dafuq?" so I asked google what that shit means. The search brings up sexy youtube videos and porn sites. I was like holy wtf?   I then again turned to my friend google who speaks many languages and found out that  سكس فرنسي  translates to French Sex.  Interesting. I dont remember writing a blog about French Sex but you never know, the French are pretty sexy. 

So I decided to search my blog for سكس فرنسي and got zilch. So then I tried searching my blog for "french sex" And I got a hit!  Kind of excited to see what I had written about french sex that I forgot about, and it only turned up this  Check Your Neighbors post I wrote about the old Austrian guy who locked his daughter in a hidden room and fucked her for like 20 years. Definitely mentions sex but nothing about French Sex... Austrian incest, yes, French Sex, no. So what I want to know is, how is searching French Sex in Arabic finding my blog so many damn times? I mean I appreciate the pageviews but I'm sorry you didn't find the sexy videos you were looking for. Maybe this one will help you out. 

You Park Like An Asshole (Part 5)

There are no parts 1-4, I just know I've written about people parking like shit before. Use the search box in the sidebar if you feel like you're missing out. 


As I pull into Safeway there is an open compact parking space next to the handicapped space, but I can't park in it because there is a big crappy pickup truck parked all wonky in the space on the other side. So I say obscenities under my breath and find a spot farther away. Now while asshole parkers bug me, I can go on without it ruining my day so I do my shopping and make my way back to my car. While I pass the space I wanted I notice that the stupid truck is still there fucking up the parking lot. Again not the end of my world but then I see that someone is in the truck. One leg hanging out of the open driver door. Having a cigarette. But here's the kicker... It's a fucking Safeway employee! 

First of all, you're not only taking up one up-close parking space for customers, but because you parked like a douche bag you're taking up two spaces that should be kept open for store patrons. And you are smoking within a distance from the entrance you are not legally allowed to be smoking in. 

this obviously isnt a pic from this story, but it's relevant, look at this cunt bag!  Also I've found that posts with no photos are boring looking. It's surprising how many photos there are on the web of bad parking... it's a serious epidemic.

Part of me fees like I should have reported her to the manager, but as far as giving that much of a shit, aint nobody got time for that. I just wish people would take their head out of their ass for 2 seconds and think about what they are doing. 

Audition. WTF? (movie review)

I may be late to the game on this but a friend of mine who I trust with picking good unusual movies had a movie recommended to her by her friends who watch weird movies. She looked it up as did I (after watching it) and saw that everywhere you go this movie gets the highest praise. top of horror movie lists, every review is licking its nuts clean like it was dipped in chocolate sauce.  So like, wow we gotta see this movie.  It's directed by a Japanese film maker named Takashi Miike who's known for extreme gore and violent horror movies.  I usually dont like these types of movies but am intrigued by how extreme they can get.  We found it on Netflix.  It's called Audition.

It just so happened that everyone had already fell asleep except for the two of us so we put it on.  I was going in expecting the worst. Hostel, Saw, Human Centipede... I'd read about some extreme gore stuff and watched some clips online so I kind of had an idea of what I could be getting into with this movie.

So we watched it, both of us were pretty tired, and it's subtitled so we hoped that the extreme nature of this movie would keep us awake.  About 1/3 of the way through I texted a mutual friend who'd seen this and told her this movie is hella boring.  Because it was... she assured us that it really picks up in the last 20 minutes. OK, to me that seems like a pretty shitty plan for a movie but we stuck it out. If you've seen this, you know what I'm talking about.. and for some reason like everyone else besides me and my friend, totally loves it.

The quick and dirty for those of you who haven't seen it (spoilers maybe) It's a businessman who loses his wife. 7 years after her death his teenage son encourages him to start dating because he's all bummed out all the time.  He concocts a plan with a coworker who works with him at a place that makes TV/Movies or something. The plan is that they'll audition women for a movie, only, there is no movie and it's a way to find the dude a wife.  He picks a girl but her references aren't panning out. His friend says to watch out because we cant verify anything on her resume.  He doesn't care, he's smitten by this chick. His friend says to wait to call her. So he waits.. they show her in a funky empty room slouched over on the floor staring at the phone. in the room is a big burlap sack tied up.   They start dating, then he decides to propose to her while they're on a romantic trip somewhere. she gets naked while he's giving her some ideas of where to go before dinner. She says "can you love me, only me" it gets all weird and they get into bed.. it looks like she's going down on him, then he wakes up and she's gone. His friend is like leave it alone, she's weird I told you.  As he's trying to track her down he finds out some shady shit about some of her references.



Long story short, she drugs him at his house and tortures him. while he's in and out of consciousness he starts to have flashbacks to their dates where she reveals how she was horribly abused by various male figures in her life as a child.  It's gets really confusing. there's scenes of him in her room. there's a dude in the burlap sack all fucked up. she feeds him her vomit.  then she starts to go down on him and she turns into other chicks from his life.  it's fucking weird and hard to follow.  I've heard explanations that say most of the weird shit is a dream.  I hate dream explanations because they are a cop-out and dont have to have any real bearing on the actual plot.  She says she worked at a bar, but the bar's been closed after the violent murder of the bar owner. She said her manager was in the music industry. The bar owner was having an affair with a music industry guy. They found extra 3 fingers, an ear and a tongue in the mess of body parts in the bar.. guy in the sack had 3 missing fingers, no ear and no tongue (also no feet)... so your brain starts to put the pieces (which are laid out right in front of you ) together that this chick is fucking nuts.  ...build up!!!

OK... SO.. remember when I said this was a movie by a guy who's known for extreme gore and crazy shit? I was fully prepped for a gnarly pay off to this pointlessly confusing movie.  (spoilers)  there's some gross scenes or rather flashes of things throughout the last 25 or so minutes of this but nothing too crazy. Now, after an hour of a boring subtitled romantic crime thriller... time for the big torture finale.. c'mon Takashi Miike... let me have it!! everyone creams their jeans over this movie so let's do this shit!  ................... She pokes him with needles while giving a monologue about how he doesnt love only her and he's like the other men, that he only wants sex bla bla bla... so yea,  fucking acupuncture...She gives him a drug in a big scary needle under the tongue and she's dressed in black rubber apron, says he wont be able to move but feel everything.. so he can enjoy the pain.. and it's pretty creepy and all, but really? acupuncture needles? weak! ...oh wait, she's got the razor wire saw she cut a guys head of with earlier (maybe she did?  not sure, it might have been a dream, I dont know. the timeline doesn't work, like most of the flashback shit but whatever)  and she uses it cut his foot off... it's disturbing but on a scale of 1-10 of what I've seen and heard about in movies I'd give it a 2 and a half.  Then the son comes home catches her in the act then pushes her down the stairs and she's paralized(?) and then he calls the cops. THE END.

HOW IN THE FUCK is this everyone's favorite horror movie of all time?  I wouldn't even call it horror. not even close. It's long, boring and not scary or gross or exreme AT ALL.  If you disagree with me PLEASE leave comments explaining to me why this movie is boner juice for horror nerds.  

Shortest Movie Review Ever

I'm sure that beyond the fake noses, weird makeup overlapping actors and bad accents there's a good story. I just didn't get it.  All of the above, was very distracting and didn't let you focus on the plot. Instead it had you playing "Guess the actor" the whole time. 

I love photo friday so much, I'm gonna take it behind the jr high and get it pregnant.

Hey I think it's about time for another old fashioned PhotoFriday.  Of course if you have me in your circles on Google plus you'd have seen all of these already. Here we go...

 I was kind of a cooking champion yesterday.  Here's breakfast.

I made some experimental Funnel Pancakes. Experiment was a success! 

Then I made a batch of Ground Turkey Green Enchiladas. Topped with jalapeno, black olive and cheddar cheese curds.

I like to give my mix CD's clever titles. I might have a thing for poop. I dunno.

I might have joined a punk band. 

I finally painted something!!  

"The God Helmet"  acrylic on canvas - 16" x 20" It's for sale if you're interested. 

In progress.

Rob Boss.

We took my parents to nature last weekend. 

Fern Canyon Humboldt Ca.

Vertical panoramic photo of the canyon.  That's my mom bottom left. 

A couple of weeks ago was the Annual Kinetic Grand Championships.  It's a grueling 3 day all terrain race from Arcata through Eureka to Ferndale.

Some pics from the water portion. 

They start out on land, in the Arcata Plaza. This one breathed fire!

All Kinetic Sculptures must be human powered. Usually made out of bikes.

Here's a video I took from the plaza