Bonus!

As long as I can remember my uncle and my dad would rave about this long lost burger of all burgers known as the Bonus Jack.

Well, be lost no longer. Jack must have gotten tired of my uncle Gordon writing him because like Jack himself, the coveted Bonus Jack is back.

Here it is in all of its smashed realistic glory.

Don't get too excited. Maybe back in the 70s this kind of thing was the cats pajamas but today in a time of over drippy pastrami teriyaki burgers the BJ (lol) is basically a Jumbo Jack with a big mac middle bun minus the onion & tomato, substitute secret sauce. Yes, I said secret sauce. I used to always order a Jumbo Jack substitute secret sauce but for some reason they stopped letting me. They would offer me a packet of secret sauce instead. What kind of shit is that? So I guess the "bonus" is one extra soggy bun.

Well, shit no more! Just order a Bonus Jack (for a limited time only) and toss the middle bun out the window, or keep it in and throw a middle finger in the air at McDonalds for thinking they own the rights to middle buns.

Sent (mostly) from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

NitTwitt Hype

So, I resisted for a long time thinking.. Twitter? WTF, why do i need to tweet the size of my turd when I can post a picture of it on my facebook. (which would be pointless too if everyone did what they were supposed to do and checked the Noggins every day)

Anyway, so I jumped on the bandwagon to see what all the twat hype was about and after giving it a good, honest chance I've decided that Twitter is pretty stupid.


See you on facebook losers.

CrAcKbErrY

Happy Friday. Here's some things I that I experienced today:

-It's too fucking hot.
-Mi Puebo food center is on fire
-Jack in the Box brought back the Bonus Jack
-My new crackberry is pretty rad
-I'm out of gum and stamps
-Jimbo needs to find something more productive to do on Friday afternoons.

I drew half, then flipped it.

new and actually nice thai place downtown MTZ.

Blackberry Tour for Verizon Wireless

harvested the basil and made some kick ass bruchetta

b

I'm glad I dont wear a watch anymore. them's shits is like $500 for an OK one.

getting drug to go bra shopping really isnt that bad. there's soft-core everywhere you look.

rocko taco!

creeper doll

somebody broke satans chair.

I was supposed to write something about Stinkface in this blog but I forgot.

Font in Japan (its here!)

My copy of TYPE FONTBAT is here from Japan. Let me just say how rad Japan is. even the envelope it came in was rad. In case you didnt know this book features three fonts that I created. KOOBZ, Oakland Hills 1991, and Deccodisco. (as seen below)

This book is really high quality. multiple paper types and page colors. Very cool!

here's some pics.

Deccodisco

Oakland Hills 1991

KOOBZ

There's a ton of really cool fonts and it comes with a CD with all the fonts that you can install. I think it has tutorials and stuff for photoshop and illustrator too.

I guess this makes me a published font author. stick that in a pipe and blow bubbles with it!.

all of my fonts can be seen and downloaded at http://www.dafont.com/kirk-shelton.d2008

There goes another $100 I DONT have.

Just got a $100 parking ticket in front of my house for stupid street sweeping. I'm so pissed, but here's why it makes me sick to my stomach.

First off, I knew it was Tuesday, I knew it was nearing the end of the month so I checked the calendar.. nope one more Tuesday in the month. Then, I heard a street sweeper but it was on another street or it could be the tractors and shit from the construction a block away. so still.. no worries.

I should also point out that usually on street sweeping day, there are NO cars on my side of the street. not today. there was cars parked all the way down. Which is another indication that it wasnt a street sweeping day today.

Then I saw the code enforcement car stop near my house but since I'd heard some kind of house alarm going off earlier I thought it was checking out the house so I didn't rush out to move my car.

There were just too many factors leading me to the assumption that it wasn't street sweeping day. Then I looked at the sign... "4th Tuesday" not "the LAST Tuesday" MOTHER FUCKER.

This stupid 5 week month cost me, and a whole street worth of cars $100. That should be enough to fix the fucking water main that keeps breaking.

taking donations.

Jimbo needs to get a life

Jimbo is addicted to Friday Photo Blog. I thought the UMF post would be good enough. I guess not.

here's your dang photos.

Steve & Remmy made a Max. takes after dad.

cat mail

dont ask.

Mormons came to my house again.

ok all done. not much this week. sorry. I need a job.

also, they found more human bones on that fuckers property in Antioch. I bet every unsolved missing girl case from the past 20 years is buried in his back yard.

rot in hell.

What I was doing in 1994 (UMF content)

You may have heard me go on about the punk band I was in back in high school. We were called U.M.F. which stood for Ugly Mother Fuckers. We pretty much kicked ass. Here's the original and only true UMF line up..

Cuny - false teeth/vocals, Jeff - Guitar/vocals, Kevin- baggy pants/bass, and Kirk- dog rapist/drums! circa 1995

here's a candid shot from the School year book. Cuny wasn't there that day.

Jeff, who I'm jamming again with in The Freex, recently found an old cassette from one of our practices. With RadioShack and some computer magic, I have the 5 song set for you now!

Sure to make the ladies swoon.
DISCLAIMER/WARNING: the recording is beyond horrible. I think we plugged headphones into the mic jack on a boom box to record this. also we say fuck and shit a lot.

"Eat My Shit"


"Fuck Off And Die"
(our only love song)



"Body Bag"
(a tribute to the movie Karate Kid)


"Stepping Stone"
(a cover of a Neil Diamond song as performed by the Monkeys as covered by Minor Threat as covered by UMF)


"D.U.I"
(a PSA for drunk driving and/or an instruction manual on how to use a car as a lethal weapon)




our band highlight was playing at the Berkeley Square... twice.
so that was UMF, now you know. and knowing is half the battle.

no love for the K, I,R, K

So remember when you were a kid and went to a theme park, or a gas station near a theme park and they had those racks of little license plates with names on them? Well, they never have my name. They always have Kurt tho. well, I was just reminded of those license plates thanks to Firefox's spell checker. If you suck and dont have firefox yet you wouldnt know that if you spell a word wrong it highlights it like MsWord does and if you right click it, it gives you spelling choices.

here's what Firefox gave me when I typed "krik"

Klarika? how do you get to that before Kirk. no love!

Interesting weather we're having?

So yea following the hottest day ever I wake up to raindrops the next morning... and lightning, and thunder. After a bunch of rad California days a little actual weather is nice for a change.

here goes nothing.

imagine, if you will, that I took this with a good camera. it was a very crazy looking cloud pattern that morning. thunder and rain as stated above.

yay!

this. is some scary ass shit. I'm drinking Pepsi from now on.

just another foggy day on the GG.

I didnt forget how to skate. fun stuff.

Ikea fez's now.

clean shaven shoes

kittens spooning. homo cats.

fucking punk ass kids.

ok that's the sunday edition of Photo Friday. It's still all wintery outside and I still need a job. .. oh yea my band rocked the vagina off Red Hat Sports Bar last night. you wish you coulda been there. next stop, 'TINEZ!

PS: GO GIANTS!