The Best Root Beer I Ever Had

Here's a little anecdote about root beer I'd like to share.  The best root beer I ever had was very random. Maybe even where my love/obsession for root beer may have started.  It was at a little shit hole restaurant near Fishermans Wharf in San Francisco that isn't even there anymore. I think It's a Walgreens now actually.  I used to work down there in like 98/99 and went into this place for lunch once.  It was like going back in time. This place had a serious nautical/pirate theme. Everything was wood. Old, dark wood with dusty fishing nets and ropey decorations. Like Spongebob meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  I wouldn't be lying if I said there was a definite off vibe about this place. A creepy feeling like you were somewhere you didn't belong.  It was right off the main tourist trap row so why was I creeped out? But it was 12:30 in the afternoon, where was everyone?  

I think I went in kind of craving 7-up or Sprite but the only person that seemed to be there working or not, an older rough looking male bartender said all they had was cola or root beer.  I knew for sure I didn't want cola so I went for the root.  It was slightly warm actually and served in a little glass with no ice. I was kind of pissed at the time that there was no ice in it and the glass was tiny and it was probably going to cost me $2. I shut the fuck up though because the guy serving it was a surly old salty sea dog looking guy who looked like he did not want any guff from some punk kid web designer.   I take a sip. It was lightly carbonated.. probably just flat from the CO2 cartridge in the machine being low or something. But for whatever combination of accidental reasons, it was the most delicious root beer I'd ever had in my life. Sweet, creamy, just enough snap from the root flavor.  I think I went back again but they had just gotten new soda machines with all Pepsi or Coke products and it was never the same. It was like magic for one brief moment.

Anyway,  the next time you're served a so-called gourmet root beer and they bring you a glass with ice and a straw; say "what the fuck is this shit?"  flip the serving tray over abruptly with your open hand spilling crappy root beer on the server in the process. Then flip the table over as you storm out screaming obscenities.  But if it's a salty pirate motherfucker who's probably been drunk since 9am...shut the fuck up and drink it. it might be the best thing you've ever had.