Nicki Minaj Go Away.

I'm the first person to say that musicians are performers first and shouldnt be judged by the music they make. Mainly because of how it's typically heavy metal bands who take the brunt of people thinking bands that sing about cannibalism and satan are actually satanic cannibals.  Because usually they're just nerds. But this pop/hip hop trend of promoting drugs and sex with little to no artistry behind it really pisses me off.  No-talent hacks can get into a studio, squeal about how awesome it is being a horrible person into a microphone over samples of music from real artists with off the shelf beats put on top of it and then autotuned with robot voice and become a role model to the youth.

Maybe it's just the [almost] 40 year old in me but I'm really embarassed to be a human when shit like this is allowed to exist.  Someone posted the latest video from Nicki Minaj entitled Anaconda. Probably NSFW. 


Minaj, of whom I've only known of as a flashy dim-witted performer who somehow had the credentials to be a voice of reason to aspiring singers on American Idol last season.  After seeing this video I've come to the realization that she is a shit stain in the underwear of music. Part of the aforementioned ilk of pseudo-music. How in the holy fuck she got to be a judge on a singing competition is beyond me.

The whole basis of this "song" is stolen from Sir Mix A Lot. She needs to go away. This song is the super literal, spelled out, non-clever message of the original.  Baby Got Back was  pretty raunchy for it's time but it never crossed the line. It was full of innuendo and creative poetry. This is a giant turd-fest rip off from a coked out idiot.  The thing is also, this song or video isnt that shocking.  2LiveCrew was doing this (before anyone) and taking the heat for it back in the early 80s when she was still shitting her pants. Also other female rappers have done the whole over-the-top sex music too.   So nothing groundbreaking here.

Here's the lyrics. Sir Mix A Lot sampled lyrics have been crossed out. Also the music for the whole song is taken right from Baby Got Back.

My anaconda don'tMy anaconda don'tMy anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun 
Boy toy named troy, used to live in Detroit
Big dope dealer money, he was getting some coins
Was a shooter with the law, but he live in a palace
Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping my stylish
Now thats r-r-real, gun in my purse, bitch I came for us to kill
Who wanna go first? I had them push daffodils
I'm high as hell, I only took a half of pill
I'm on some dumb shit
By the way, what he say?
He can tell I ain't missing no meals
Come through and fuck em in my automobile
And I'm hitting it with his girls, and he telling me to chill
And he telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal
Say he don't like em boney, he want something he can grab
So I pulled up in the Jag, and I hit em with the jab like
My anaconda don'tMy anaconda don'tMy anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hunOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her buttLook at her butt (look at her butt) 
This dude named Michael used to buy motorcycles
Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel
Real country ass nigga, let me play with his rifle
Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil
Now that bang bang bang, I let him hit it cause he slang cocaine
He toss my salad like his name Romaine
And when we done, I make him buy me romaine
I'm on some dumb shit
By the way, what he say?
He can tell I ain't missing no meals
Come through and fuck em in my automobile
And I'm hitting it with his girls, and he telling me to chill
And he telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal
Say he don't like em boney, he want something he can grab
So I pulled up in the Jag, Mayweather with the jab like
My anaconda don'tMy anaconda don'tMy anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hunOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her buttLook at her butt (Look at her butt)My anaconda don'tMy anaconda don'tMy anaconda don't want none unless you got bunsm hunDon't don't don't, my anaconda don'tDon't want none unless you got buns, hunOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her buttOh my gosh, look at her but 
(now she's just talking, sounds like she's high/drunk as fuck. Not even singing or rapping)
Yeah, he love this fat ass
Yeah, this one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the fucking club
I said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?
Fuck the skinny bitches, fuck the skinny bitches in the club
I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the motherfucking club
Fuck you if you skinny bitches WHAT?
I got a big fat ass
Come on

Again, I'm all for freedom of expression and artistry but I see none of that here or in many of the songs in this vein that have gotten heavy radio play in the last...shit, 15 or so years. I'm mostly I think, more than this song or the genre, I'm angry that I live in a world where this is actually popular and people buy it.    Am I taking this song too literally? Is she playing a role? Is she writing about someone else? Is she making a statement?  I highly doubt it.  Much like country music songs about trucks and beer, there is no metaphor for something more profound.  I'm 100% sure this song is about fucking drug dealers because they have lots of money and celebrating having a big ass. 

Apparently Sir Mix A Lot is into this song and Minaj. ....After all he likes big butts right?  I guess I'm just not from that world and I'll never understand.