LOST

Lost? what? that show doesn't air again till Feb. you ask? well to whet the appetites of Lost junkies like myself the creators of Lost showed a sneak peak of some more orientation footage at last weeks Comicon convention in San Diego.

If you were paying attention you'd remember the Swan orientation film with its host, "Dr. Marvin CANDLE" and then the Pearl orientation video with host" Mark WICKman" and now the newest leaked film from a previously unknown station "The Orchid" orientation video. with what seems to be outtakes with yet another familiar face, this time named "Dr. Edgar HalloWAX" (are you picking up on a theme in the names? sounds like another station we know of "the FLAME")

the video mentions the casimer effect which is described as;
"If electromagnetism was supersymmetric there would be fermionic photinos whose contribution would exactly cancel that of the photons and there would be no Casimir effect. The fact that the Casimir effect exists shows that if supersymmetry exists in nature it must be a broken symmetry"

crazy stuff. Lost! yay!


also if any of you were following the Cloverfield stuff, slusho.jp and 1-18-08.com have been updated.

slusho.jp - all links work now.
*the store link takes you to a page that sells shirts and hats.
*the flavors link takes you to some kind of flavor transformer robot game. along with chocolate and banana theres some flavors i've never heard of.
*the happy talk link takes you to a page that seems (in my opinion) to display quotes from satoshi emails.

*the crab on the history page is clickable and has different facial expressions. and the purple blob is now thinking of a hammer. so, hammer, oven mitt, cheese. very odd. there may be more since i only had a brief second to check it out.

1-18-08.com - theres a new pic that was taken even earlier than the first one. from the party. now when you click to move one pic it seems to make all of them move.

Fed Up!

So, meg ordered her LSAT books. they came by Fed Ex and required a signature in person, of course no one was there. day two.. same thing.. they happened to come in the 30 minute window megs sister wasnt home.

so i went to their site to get the number for the local Fed Ex pick up place.. which is not far down the road from me. first, they have a "find a location" link but they dont list the phone numbers for ANY of the locations. so i thought well, i'll see how late they are open and maybe just go down there and they dont even list any of the locations hours.
they have the addresses but no hours, or phone numbers to call them to get the hours. oh fucking convinient! whats the fucking point of having a Location search?

so i call the 1-800 number and its a recorded system... "for this say that for this say that, for more say more options". so i say "MORE OPTIONS" ... did you say "pick up a package?" "no" "you said 'no'. ok please say your request now" "more options!" ... "did you say more options?" "YES" "ok, more options... for this say that for this say that" ......none of the options were "i want to pick up my shit because i couldnt be here to get it twice" and at the very end .. they say "for a representitive say "representitive"

ugh. so i finally get through to a person (i found out later that all i had to do was say "representitive" at the beginning) so i tell her my situation and then ask if i can go get it in Pacheco (one near me) .. i give her the tracking # and she looks it up.. "you'd be picking it up in Benicia if they cant deliver on the 3rd attempt" BENICIA? thats hecka far .. and a $4 bridge toll away. i ask her why it wouldnt be at the pacheco location and she said because its "ground" or whatever. ugh.. so now i have to go to fucking benicia.. "can i pick it up tonite what are their hours?" she says.. theres no way she can tell if its still on a truck or not.. OK then.. can i call Benicia and ask them? she says i cant call benicia but she can for me. also she has to call them to get their hours
becasue the hours arent listed in her system. wtf is that about? its not like i'm trying to call the CIA or something.

just give me a god damn phone number so i dont have to sit here and listen to you play phone tag! so finally, i get their hours and she puts the package on hold for me so they dont try to deliver it again. then in order to get the package meg has to be physically present to sign for it with a valid ID. which is lame because if they dropped it off at the house ANYONE there can sign for it.

and yes before you say anything, the logical thing would have been for her to have it sent to her office. but her sister is usually there.

it was just a huge fiasco for some damn books. it was mostly the lack of info they have on their site and the runaround... and the lack of info the 800 operator had at hand.

thanks a lot FedEx (aka Homeland Security)

PS: anne hathaway is pretty hot. i never thought so really. thanks google image search!

fake graffiti

hey shit faces. here's some pictures.

WTF is PREM? and why would i eat it? sounds like food they'd have on Mars.

ahh, road rage!

my loser graffiti name. like i'd ever have the nuts to tag it on something tho. free cyber back rub for whoever can read what it says. no cheating

my lunch was very phallic yesterday. WANG!!

i think i caught her spirit as it left her body.

i was at the mall and had made a joke about "going to get an orange julius" in reference to the Jim Gaffigan stand up bit about there not being Orange Julius's anymore. then as i was roaming the mall, I stumbled upon this. lol.. i'd never even seen and Orange Julius before.. for the record its not that great.







this poor kid. he was having his kidbucks cofffee and his dad ( i guess?) was sitting there fidgeting with some i-gadget with headphones in totally ignoring him.see how he's looking at me like he wants me to save him. I see stuff like this all the time and wonder if they are being kidnapped or something. maybe i should have said something. whatever.

drawing

ok there you go Friday.

Lady gets punched.

I dont know who these people are. I don't know what the argument was about. I haven't even watched this with sound yet so I don't even know if they say anything. And none of that even matters because this is just kick ass old lady on old lady rage at its finest.

enjoy.


UPDATE:
for your personal enjoyment. i made an animated gif out of this for you to use as an avatar or icon or to post on myspace. i think i'm obsessed

BLOG!

I knew my misguided anger and pessimism would pay off eventually. I think I just got the validation i've been looking for. A reason to keep on bloggin'. (as if I really needed one)

here's a conversation i just had.

Dude: i just got 2 emails in a row. one from patch perfect and the other from grassy seed

Me: are you on some kind of Lawn mailing list?

Dude: i dont even own a lawn haha... i want u to write a blog about LAWN spam
Me: no... why dont you?

Dude: im not a blogger
Dude: when i complain people just call me a baby, when you complain people think you rule.

oh man that is the best thing i've heard all year! so to oblige "dude" here's a blog about LAWN spam.

Why the heck do you get spam from crap you dont need, or ever had an association with? I know its all random and stuff but doesnt that defeat the purpose of target marketing? When your target is "everyone" then your solicitations become annoying and instead of people seeing an occasional ad for something they're actually interested in, they see an inbox of shit and a delete button. Another female friend of mine is always wondering why she gets Viagra spam all the time. she's like "I dont even have a penis" ... ahh but one day you might and one day that penis may be a little on the limp side.. I doubt thats the Viagra spammers intention but hell you never know right? fuck did i just defend a Viagra spammer?

Its not just spam tho, its also the good ol' fashioned telemarketer sales calls. Somehow, somewhere I got put on a Mortgage, Home owner call list. (I'm pointing my finger at you Todd) and while I dont nor have ever owned a home or even inquired about it, i get calls all fucking day long about "my mortgage" or "saving me money on my house payments" FUCK OFF and do some god damned research. Luckily, I hardly ever answer my home phone and when i do my monthly checking of my messages its always 50 recordings of a telemarketer halfway through his/her pre-recorded schpeal. My friend Jer loves to get calls from people trying to sell him shit. He likes to get into some made up goofy character mode and keep them on the line as long as possible without ever actually commiting to any sale. One time he pretended to be some old gay guy who was in the middle of making love with his new and younger boyfriend when the phone rang. The sales person was doing everything to get off the line without being rude but he just persisted and yelled stuff like "hey not now Honey Pants, I'm on the phone" Jer rules. (rita take note, this sounds like something you'd be into)

anyway.. now I'm all pissed about telemarketers and shit. thanks.

I hope you all think I rule and that I'm not a baby for bitching about this.

Hey assface!

I almost ran over someone the other day. Was I driving erratically? maybe, but not that bad. I was in the left lane of a 2 lane road with a 35 mph speed limit and some douche was driving 20 in the fast lane. What part of "slower traffic merge right" do these people not understand? One slow ass can fuck up a whole day of commuting for everyone on the road behind them. No one can pass them because they are going as fast as the slow lanes. It's like a fucking slow-race. It drives me nuts. Anyway, back to my near-brush with vehicular manslaughter. I got frustrated and passed the log jam on the right and while Ii was in passing speed some fuck hole decides to exercise his pedestrian right-of-way. I had to swerve hella fast and brake to miss him.

There was a crosswalk there but no real intersection so i wasn't expecting there to be people crossing. Now, i know all about the pedestrian right-of-way. in that... they always have it. but seriously there should be some asterisks next to that. I know if you hit someone, its automatically your fault because you should be watching ahead of you and leaving stopping room and bla bla bla... but what if some jerk walks out into moving traffic?

the asterisks should say *the pedestrian has the right of way, especially in a cross walk but its the pedestrians responsibility to make sure that the road is clear to cross safely. actually it probably does say that somewhere. I'm too lazy to look. But in all honesty we shouldnt need "hey asshole don't be retarded" as a printed law. I blame lawyers and people that cant read or pay attention. oh yeah i remember faintly about being told to "LOOK BOTH WAYS" which makes me even more pissed because if they arent just retarded they are arrogant to think that cars going 45 can stop within 5 feet of them because they have the right of way

speaking of retards. Lindsay Lohan, just out of rehab and on parole with tracking anklet which apparently can read her blood alcohol level went on a cocaine induced drunk driving spree and got busted while trying to race someone. WAY TO GO ASSFACE!!

Gallery Skateboards

I was skating my "time for donuts" on this mini ramp thats in this local skate shop yesterday and some kids were like "hey is that one of those Gallery boards?" as i was telling him it was a 5:AM his friend corrected him "no dude i think thats a 5:AM" then asked me if i was the "Gallery Skateboards dude" it was rad. i felt like a local celebrity or something. they said that they really liked the designs because they are all so different. that means a lot as that was my goal. to create a variety of unique designs. I hope they keep spreading the word. seems my name is known at least somewhat to the kids around here.


thats my cool story for the year.

i need to find a wood shop and get some made for real and try to sell them. then i'd have some for promo too. first i need to not be poor tho. anyone want to donate to the "kirk needs to get his skateboard company off the ground for real" fund?

www.galleryskates.com

You cant fuck with Science.

this is some shit that will melt your brain. fucking science man!

13 Things That Do Not Make Sense. There are a lot of things that dont make sense to us, because well, most of us are stupid. But when you stump the smartest science motherfuckers in the world ... thats something! things like.. the placebo effect, dark matter, why the Pioneer space probe started to go faster the further it got into deep space. Something called tetraneutrons which are four neutrons that are bound together in a way that defies the laws of physics.

and many more bits of unexplained craziness.
click here for the article

Here's another article i found today. Something most people write off as science fiction, these dudes are actually trying to figure it out. TIME TRAVEL! get your flux capicitors pre heated to 99.9 Jiggawatts and read this article.

http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2007/07/weird-science-2.html

here's an exerpt. regarding his theory on splitting a laser beam to go back in time... or something.

So here’s the truly mind-blowing aspect of his theory: If Signal B followed a shorter route to its detector, the fiddling in Signal A could theoretically show up in Signal B before Cramer actually tinkers with Signal A. It would be as if Cramer's actions had an effect that worked backward in time.

It will make more sense ( maybe ) when you read the whole article.

here's some more on time travel and some of the thoughts for and against it

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_travel

Beavers, Dreams and Earthquakes Friday

So, last night I had this dream. its part of a reoccurring series of dreams i have about my parents house that I saw a ghost in . In this version of the dream My parents moved out of the house but built a new house on the same property. they left the old house abandoned in the back yard. I have to go back in the house to get some stuff i left behind there. I try to do it quickly because of the ghost. The reoccurring part is the ghost. its an energy force that tries to grab me and pull me back into the house. if feels like its pulling the air space around me and making it hard for me to move. it sucks. i fight it off everytime tho and get away but it makes me dread going back into my old room.

I woke up all freaked out and had to pee. I contemplated going pee because i was all freaked out. I end up going pee and try to get back to sleep. as i start to finally drift off the whole house starts to shake. EARTHQUAKE! for about 10 seconds the house was still rumbling a little after the initial jolt. so now, i'm all amped up.. the ghost dream and now the earthquake. i finally sink into a good sleep and then the alarm goes off. sonovabitch.

here's some photos.









a few years ago they widened the creek so the town didnt flood anymore during storms. they way over did it and theres never more than a 2 foot wide trickle down this huge cement corridor they created. they opened it all up and made a park like setting around it that goes right through main st. since its never full theres sand and mud and plants and birds and other cool wildlife thats made its home there. but earlier this spring some beavers moved in. Fucking beavers. i didnt even know we had beavers here but they're here. they built a dam down by Bertola's Italian restaurant and now the water is from cement wall to wall about 8 feet deep! they got that shit backed up good. now theres hella fish in it and this family of beavers that just cruise around collecting crap to make their den bigger. its nuts. I took some pics last night.

sometimes you think its a beaver swimming.. but its a rat. there was hella rats.

and a bit of video..

see more on my youtube page. http://youtube.com/profile?user=kirksucks

i know you dont care but i thought i'd include some pics i took before the game i went to last weekend.

people think i look like Ryan Klesko