Feb 28, 2006

google video?

i'm trying this shit out with this video of my dog eating gum. shot it with my camera phone, downloaded it to my comp via bluetooth and bitpim, then i got the google video uploader. its pretty fucken sweet. another point for google.

.. I still need a video converter program to convert the files off my phone so it wont have that lame watermark shit.

Scrapers Nukkah

I posted earlier about the pimp van i saw. I noticed another strange phenomenon in ghetto car enhancement. Scrapers. As if rappers are running out of stupid shit to do, now they are taking a shitty 80's sedan and shoehorning 22 or 24 inch rims under it. It looks fucking rediculous. I think it might be the worst auto trend since the 3 foot "shopping cart handles"after market spoilers they still put on rice rockets.

well anyhoo, as with everything else, they have a magazine just for this shit. I saw this at the grocery store yesterday. (god the camera on this phone sucks)
and since were on the subject.. i was looking around and found this on Google. its a shitty 80s sedan with a stupid home made spoiler.

rancid lunch update

I didnt die. I didnt even get sick. so the proof is in the pudding. or should i say 10 day old spanish chicken and rice. I went to rub it in Rita's face but then she rebutted with some lame shit about certain spices acting as a preservative. I may have gotten lucky. oh well the shit was tasty.

for more on people eating gross food check out Steve Dont Eat It over at The Sneeze blog. Dude eats some whack shit and lives to tell about it.

Feb 27, 2006

Rancid Lunch

I'm on a budget now due to some unfortunate (stupid) financial incident. So along with that budget comes the end of buying lunch everyday. no more indian, or tacobell or whoppers with bacon. I'm downgraded to eating leftovers for lunch. why the hell not, we have a microwave the ladies like to make popcorn in 6 times a day. But today is an all new low in leftover land. As my girlfriends sister was cleaning out the fridge she came across a forgotten tupperware of chicken and rice she made. She asked me what day it was when the cops came to the house across the street (thats another story). I told her it was last thursday. (that was 10 days ago) so then she asks me if I think its still good. Not one to pass up free food i say "sure it is, its only been like a week" so I put it back in the fridge and my mouth watered through the night, all this morning until now. I asked Rita, who's a mom with the knowhow about these things, if it was ok to eat 10 day old leftovers. here's what her advice was.
" the 17th . . . that could incite a trip to the emergency room. I think the rule for leftovers is 3-5 days unless they are frozen, then it is like 3 months at most. I wouldnt, but maybe you are a risk taker. I have kids to raise. Good luck on the rancid lunch"

oh shit thanks Rita why'd you have to use the word "rancid", I've been looking forward to this savory meal all day. So I went against Dr.Mom's advice and went ahead with it. I like living on the edge.

here she is in her 10 day old glory...

it smelled fine so i nuked it for 2 and a half minutes.. i also brought a couple tortillas to go with it. delicioso. It wasnt rancid at all... tastes fine. and more importantly i feel fine... so far.
If i have a visit to the porcelan throne room, i'll let you know.

so if youre on a budget and some shit's been chillin' in your fridge for like 2 weeks, I'd say smell it, and if its alright, cook it and enjoy the shit out of it. you just made lunch!

suck on that Rita!

Octopus Eats Shark


The End Of The World (part 4)

Remember when i said the world was ending because of a shitty little eartquake? well this is like 1000 times worse. It's like if Rob Thomas and Ashlee Simpson had a baby and that baby had a kid with Spears and K-Feds mutant kid. and then that kid grew up and got elected preseident. or if Satan and George Bush annally conceived an evil turd baby.
...this is way worse than that.

There are rivers of psycho-reactive ectoplasmic slime flowing under my cubicle right now.

Feb 24, 2006

American Idol Tribute

In honor of my last post where i admitted i watched 'The Idol' I now present the American Idol nicknames and "Separated at Birth" list. this took way too long for what it actually is.

All of this was the idea of Rita over at her DiaryA blog. she made a list too that i stole hella shit from but most of it was collaborative. thanks Rita.

Must Not See Thursday

Last night was jam packed with hit TV shows on all competing networks. I was gonna make this post about how jacked the Olympic Figure Skating finals were and that all the medalists won even tho they ate shit on the ice. but I didnt want to sound gay so tried to think of something else i had watched that i could talk about. After that i was going to tell you that the 4 people they sent home on American Idol last night were totally predictable, but American Idol is pretty gay too. Survivor was on also, but any self respecting human shouldnt be watching Survivor still. I was tempted for like 1.4 seconds when I saw that it was going to be in my Grandmas native country, Panama. But thought "Survivor is a bunk ass show I've never watched anyway, why start now?" I Flipped to Animal COPS on Animal Planet for a minute which is rad sometimes but that was pretty lame too. Then i was going to tell you about how these two shows, Dancing and/or Skating with the Stars ( i get them confused), which are a total rip off of eachother, are both a fucking trainwreck celeb-reailty nightmare. If youre going to call your show anything "with the stars" or "celebrity" anything, get real fucking stars.. not washed up dairy farming hacks like Jessica Simpsons Ex-Brother-In-Law.

So, even though i didnt watch it...I'm gonna have to say CSI was rad last night! By the way, whats up with them always using flashlights in broad daylight? isnt that like pissing into the ocean?

God i need to get out more.

Feb 23, 2006

Future Man Lives With Parents

you ever wonder what music will be like in 2036? or just pondered what the Future will be like? Well, some web surfers got the chance to find out a few years ago. Appearantly, a guy named John Titor popped up on a few different web forums back in 2000. He was on and off for about 4 months vaguely answeing peoples questions. According to his "predictions" we may have averted a US civil war that was supposed to start in 2005. Either that guy was full of shit.. or his little visit here changed the future! thanks John. He said a ton of shit while he was here, which is conveniently compiled at a website. www.johntitor.com You'd think John would go back in time and register that domain name before this other guy could cash in on his name and sell merch and shit.

i think the icing on the cake is that John Timur traveled back in time only to end up living with his parents (and his 8yr old self) while he was here. Wouldnt that seriously fuck up the time/space continuum that Doc Brown was so concerned about in Back To the Future? I think he'd be so destracted by his parents 1999 dial up AOL service and windows 98 he wouldnt be able to think about things like time/space.

Bullshit or not that site is an interesting read with anecdotes about the year 2036, WWIII and lots of scientific crap about how time travel works... in the future.

Feb 22, 2006


sometimes this is just how you feel. for me its most days.
"fuck the fuckin' shit fuck"
watch this video. it might make you feel better.
this has sound and may be NSFW (remember what this means kids?)

thanks porous for the heads up on this. (check out porous's stuff, it rules and he's good people)

Feb 21, 2006

new sketchbook drawings

i was the balls end in a vagina 3 wheeler, caught in an estrogen-crossfire of verbal "tampon vs pads" bullets. I hate being the odd MAN out. It was a good thing i brought my sketchbook. here's what i did to block phrases like "bloody twat" and "cum tastes gross" out of my mind. click to enlarge.

'tinez is the place to be today

if your a bicycling nerd...
"You won’t want to miss the exciting Stage Two start on February 21st in downtown Martinez. And be sure to reserve Saturday, February 18th for a full day of fun rides for all ages, bicycle races for the serious amateurs, recreation, food, and a healthy living fair in downtown Martinez. For more information about the Tour of California or to sign up to volunteer, go to www.amgentourofcalifornia.com or visit the City’s website at www.cityofmartinez.org for more information about fun events and activities coming up on February 18th."

theres supposed to be like thousands of bike nerds in downtown martinez to check out this shit. We're used to bikers, but the fat, bearded, meth dealing bikers that ride thier loud ass choppers by my house 26 times a day. Lace Armstrong was gonna come but he decided he didnt want cancer again... from the 6 major oil refineries and all. Martinez, what a town!
such a great town, they get no love on the Google map. if you gots the Google Earth, this is pretty rad too.

this shit will blow your mind

remember my time travel theory from before? well i just got more real life evidence that it could be true. be careful tho, this shit will blow your fucking mind.

Can a light pulse travel faster than the speed of light? This question has intrigued physicists for many years because such an event could violate Einstein's theory of special relativity and the principle of causality (that 'cause' always precedes 'effect'). Together these imply that no object or information can travel faster than the speed of light, c=3times108 m s-1. For nearly two decades, physicists have been sending certain light pulses faster than c over short distances (so-called superluminal propagation), but the light pulses have always been distorted in the process so interpreting these experiments has been difficult1-3 ...
read more here

huh? thanks dailyplacebo
(im to lazy to find shit like this on my own)

Feb 17, 2006

good bye stinky little fly

I think I sold my little Fly painting. i drove by Shakey Hand Gallery yesterday and it wasnt up. I havent heard officially so maybe they just have it down for some reason.
i really liked that one so I'm kinda sad to see it go
i actually tried on that one.

click image for full size

Feb 16, 2006

wow that was pretty shitty.

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search Not safe for work (NSFW) or not work safe (NWS) is Internet slang or shorthand. Typically, the NSFW tag is used on interactive discussion areas (such as internet forums and blogs) to mark URLs or links that may be pornographic or shocking, so that the reader can avoid content that may be objectionable. NSFW has particular relevance for workplaces which have policies prohibiting (even inadvertent) access of pornographic images, because they regard the presence of these images on company property not just as a misuse of company equipment, but also as violating the company's sexual harassment policy. Evaluating a site as being safe or unsafe for work is largely subjective.

that might have come in handy for the last couple of posts yesterday. oh well im a sick fuck, deal with it.


in other news, LOST kinda licked balls last night.. talk about build up for nothing.
anyone know how to read egyptian?

Feb 15, 2006

...Blogged The Shit Out of You

When i said earlier in my mini noggins, that "I just blogged the shit out of you" I didnt mean it literally, but after finding this, it might, sort of, kind of be more literal than I intended.

Worlds Longest Turd, Ever

“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the ... Bowling Alley... which offered a length of floor suitable for...measuring the results...” read more

thanks to the FecalFace.com for this find. (no pun intended)

LOST is on tonite.

He finished it.

Coop finished the Atari Joystick boobie painting finally. turned out freakin rad.
follow his progress here. if you want a completed animated gif like the one i did before, im not in the mood now. thanks for the traffic Coop.

Sliced Bread Part Two

Do you have a gmail account? if you dont get one. when you do, find me in your "quick contacts" invite me and share the chat love. Google fucking rules.

pretty fucking good hot sauce

Many of you might already know I absolutly can't stand Tabasco sauce. So, like with Ketchup, it pisses me off when its like industry standard at resturants. When i ask for hotsauce, i didnt mean a bottle of vinegar with red pepper in it. Likewise, if i ask for salsa i dont mean Ketchup with chopped onions and black pepper sprinkled in it. (really happened to me at PEG'S on Pacheco in Martinez) So usually i suffer and eat my shit plain. until now.
There is this little mexican place i've written about that is notoriously bad, but like a trailer trash wife, i keep going back for more abuse. They arent that bad tho. On every table they have a little bottle of Tapatio Hot sauce. which is a score because its made with water not vinegar. I really dont mind the Tapatio, but its still a little wangy for me. They also have these little bottles with mysterious green hot sauce. Its hotter than a hooker on nickel night but it tastes hella good. I dont know what's in it, and i dont even care. If you see this little bottle use is sparingly, but by all means... USE IT!!

Pimp Van

an 80's GMC Van isnt that hot but when it has 20" spinners I take notice. I whipped out my cellphone at a stoplight at snapped this one. right after i took the pic, this van got even more hot. suddenly I hear a 'chirp chirp' and then the engine starts. then pimp daddy walks up and gets in. i can only imagine what other kind of pimp shit this van had packed in it. so as far as the rules go...
although spinners are commonplace in West Oakland, its rare to see on a full size van like this. the remote start was a bonus.

Feb 14, 2006

New Game!!

thanks to Tastes Like Chicken mag

LOST Time Travel Theory

I've mentioned on here before that i'm obsessed with the ABC show LOST. I frequent the message boards and lately theory discussion has been a little stale. So I started looking at little details of the last few episodes and sorta got an idea for a theory. Although early on the writers said it wasnt supernatural and could be explained with pseudo science, I think my theory still holds water because I believe the only reason they said that was because everyone was saying "theyre dead.. its purgatory" when the show started. My theory has to do with Time Travel, which is scientificly plausable. before you say "Time Travel? LAME!" let me explain.

first off if you havent been watching the show this may be confusing for you. If you think you can handle it, there is a pretty good run-down of the show and characters on this website.

In a few episodes back Charlie and Hurley are thumbing through the vinyl records in the hatch and they make note of never hearing of some of the bands and records found in the hatch. Same with the unfamiliar Appolo Candy bar found in the hatch. the writers also make note of the out of place "new" washer and dryer that was heavily discussed on the message boards when we first saw them in the background of the Season 2 premier a while back. Then in last weeks episode Hurley makes a vauge reference to time travel in the last episode when he and Sayid tune in what sounds like an old WWII USO music broadcast on the radio Bernard gave them. Also when Jack sees Desmond in the Stadium running, Desmond says "see you in another life". which may just be a figure of speach, but could also be another clue to the alternate future, time travel theory.

The records, the candy bar and the new washer and dryer are relics from the past and future. Or even alternate pasts. The original plan was to use time travel to alter history either for the good of mankind or a personal more sinister agenda.

They are all in present time. since the show started, no time travel has occured. the timer was originally used to keep the time travelers double from seeing himself coming and going during the 108 minute overlap (check out the movie PRIMER). the "Quarantine" printed on the hatch door isnt to keep out a disease its original purpose was to keep the doubles from communicating and altering thier own history thus jeopardising the project. The timer controlled the portal (see STARGATE SG-1) and also the timer was there to tell them it was safe to come out. there was an incident, the incident Dr. Candle mentions in the Orientation film, and now they have to keep resetting the timer so that whatever happened in the past or future, that was bad, can't come through to the present. whatever or whoever it is, is just stuck in limbo. keeping the island, and potentially the world safe.

The make-shift cement wall they found in the hatch blocks the portal door as a last resort security measure incase the buttons dont get pressed.
the injections may have been originally for a disease that was thought might be brought back from another time. maybe the person who came back through had it, and made the innoculations a requirement for the button pusher teams just in case the timer ran out.

There is a electromagnetic generator located in or near the hatch, and has a monthly or semi annual power-up cycle. the surge of magnetic energy created in this cycle is what caused the tides to shift so radically their first week on the island. this generator is the power source for the hatch and more importantly the time device. This electromagnetic surge may have even caused the plane crash.

the plane crash may have been just a plane crash but everything thats wierd on that island has to do with people coming and going in and out of the past and future using that island as a docking station for their trips. for example the polar bear may have been brought back from another time in the future or dimension that Polar Bears evolved to live in a tropical climate. the scientists brought things like this back for study and since the incident the bears have gotten lose. The Black Rock (old wooden shipwreck miles on shore) may have been brought back somehow but more likely washed far onto the island by the radical tide shifts. The dynamite may have been hidden there a long time after the ship settled where it is.

an extended part of my theory might suggest that dharma influenced who was on oceanic 815 and maybe the crash itself using time travel. the losties may even be decendents of original Dharma team members that went back in time or be the past selves of future dharma team members. but that would require more info to further speculate. also, the "Sickness" Danielle refers to might be a result of the electromagnetic pulse. at close range under uncontrolled circumstances the pulses could cause severe mental illness and cause halucinations and make one appear mad. This also might be what the injections in the hatch are for. but again that would require more information.

but with time travel anything is possible.