Do You Have Any Idea What Time It Is?

Last night we decided to get food from the Taco Truck. The Taco truck in the Ace Hardware parking lot is like famous around here. They've been there forever and have always been consistent and fairly cheap. Apparently they've started putting queso in their burritos. Kirk and cheese dont get along but it tasted extra bueno.

Fast forward to a few hours later. Meg and I are watching Celebrity Rehab. wow. Those jerks should just be steamrolled into a hole and paved over. anyway, So we're watching TV and i just keep farting. all night the stinkiest rippers ever. and they're hot too.

Fast Forward to this morning. I get to work at 7:00..shortly after i get settled in my stomach is punching me from the inside. I decide that I needed to hit the toilet.

For some reason the heater works like 1000 times more in the mens room. So, its like 85° in there. The smell coming from below my ass is somehow displacing every breathable oxygen molecule in there and the heat is chemically accelerating the stench. On top of that the spice from the salsa, i hadn't felt since it was on my lips and tongue the night before is now burning my asshole.

Finally, i finish shitting and waddle my stinging asshole back to my desk..

7:28 rolls around and the phone here starts to ring

i've been instructed to NOT answer the phone unless i really want to because we dont officially open till 8. but if it rings twice in a row i figure it might be important. Then, the phone rang again. 'dammit' ... so i answered it.

It was none other than the calm, collected and recorded voice of Barak Obama!


look, i get it. Our primary is coming up. but unless you want people to vote for Hilary out of spite.. don't call California at 7:30 in the god damn morning!

This is also a business phone number. Isn't that like separation of church and state or something? separation of political affiliation and place of business?

i hate answering the phone.. especially with a nasty case of hot-ring.

Happy friggin Monday.