Jul 17, 2006

Living in the MTZ!

Remember when I said my home town was famous for sucking? Well, Martinez is famous for a lot more actually. But that doesn't mean we don't suck still. Knowing we suck is part of the glue that keeps us together and proud to be from Martinez.

The area I live is pretty historic for the west coast since it was a major hub for the gold rush.

Benicia, the town right across the way from Martinez used to be the capital of California. But they are all hoity-toity and think they are the shit. They have bumper stickers that say "its better in Benicia" that's why I made my shirts and stickers that say "FUCK YOU BENICIA". So Martinizens and Vallejoans stick it in the face of the uppity snobs in Benicia. There is a lot of resentment toward that attitude from Martinez and Vallejo. Benicia's other neighboring town. Basically all they have is the EX-State Capital. The Gov got the fuck out of there in 1854 and hasn't been back since!

Martinez has a lot of homeless and low-lifes hanging out down town because it is the County seat. We have the welfare office, county hospital (with mental ward) and the county jail. Vallejo isnt without its negative points either. It has a lot of crime and gang activity so its kind of looked down at. But they have Mare Island and E-40. Mare Island is rad, you should click this link. Benicia has a Naval shipyard, but Mare Island is the oldest on the west coast and loaded with the oldest of this and the first of that. Suck on that Benicia!

Martinez is plagued with a giant Oil refinery too. "In 1915 Shell Oil Company built an oil refinery near Martinez, which sparked a building boom in the area. Martinez's oil refineries can still be seen today from Interstate 680, and it continues to be a significant port and petroleum." And were damned proud of it! Benicia has one too but its not as centralized in the town so they politely and conveniently stay ignorant of it. As a visual juxtaposition, downtown benicia looks like fucking Disneyland.

Despite these downfalls our towns are just as historic and cool to live in as Benicia thinks it is. But Benicia ("BeniciAAAHhhhhhh" according to a smug billboard welcoming tourists) likes to rub in the fact that they basically are a town of well-to-do 40 yr olds who think their shit doesn't stink.

Do you like to get drunk? Well, the Martini was invented in Martinez. Some will argue it was invented other places, but there is actually a plaque a block from my house marking the "birthplace of the martini". That's good enough for me. Benicia has tap water.

Do you know who John Muir is... Was? If you lived in Martinez you would. He pretty much discovered Yosemite. He was a writer and naturalist who lived in Martinez from 1880 to 1914. Everything here is John Muir Road, John Muir Inn, Muir this Muir that and if you come to Martinez, you can visit his 1883 home. He made Teddy Roosevelt come to CA. To see Yosemite Valley and it made him reconsider flooding it with a hydroelectric dam. Anyway, that's all John Muir. Our homeboy from the MTZ. Suck on that too Benicia

You know what else Benicia doesn't have? A Joe DiMaggio Field. Yup, he was from here too. One more pelvic thrust into the ass of Benicians! My Grandma saw him and Marilyn Monroe at a bar one night back in the day. (probably enjoying a Martini!)

I love my home town even if it is crawling with meth addicts and the air is polluted. Knowing we suck is part of the glue that keeps us together and proud to be from Martinez. And it beats living in Benicia.


Kirk said...

i forgot, one of the most kick ass bands to get signed to Columbia Records was from Martinez also! you might know who i'm talking about. ... FINGERTIGHT

jimbizzle said...

I used to have an apartment in Benicia. It's not all that you say it is. It still has it's slum (that's where I lived). It's a nice town though. I still go live there, but I'd like in MTZ too. I like all those old houses. Way better then the track houses that you find everywhere else.