Beunos noches senioritas!

Ok so, I'm going on this Mexican Cruise. well, the cruise isnt Mexican...that would be scary. the cruise is going to mexico.. For some reason im not totaly into going. I dont think im 100% mentally prepared. It kinda got sprung on me. Thats another story but I'm just gonna say, like a bastard crack baby, this trip wasnt really planned. So... here i go to fucking mexico on a giant floating vegas hotel!

i cant wait!
va el rojo grande

I took hella pics on my cellphone to post for Foto Friday but I forgot i dont have my bluetooth shit for my home computer and I'm not gonna be back in the office till week after next. you'll have to wait. and when i get back im sure i'm gonna have an assload more pics from my bastard of a vacation.


luckily, my good friend Anja thinks like I do and took a couple pics I kinda took. check it out.


she wrote a great bit about hating the mall. You all know i hate it too. fucking soccer moms!
(btw, my pic actually has santa in it)

I'm loving the can-berry sauce! megs family makes this foo foo cran-jam shit that just isnt the same.. I need it out of the can... like mom used to make!

ok anyhoo... Since im gonna be eating free Love Boat food for a week i had to get in as much thanksgiving leftovers in as i could today. i - am - stuffed!!

Read Anjas blog.. she gives great photoblog.

rip off city

did you ever see something that looks familiar in an ad? As an artist and designer i notice this shit. The first one i noticed was when Nike, who's really notorious for ripping off artists, took the Minor Threat cover and made it a Nike Skateboarding poster.
anyway this site finds this stuff and posts it. thought you wouldn't notice
big companies are assholes to real artists and designers. they also hire assholes that steal shit. and FYI, never shop at Urban Outfitters again. they're almost worse than Nike.

also, as a side note, for you noggin addicts, I'll be taking a Mexican Cruise and wont be able to blog for the next week. check out the archives you losers.

walking

so we woke up saturday and meg had a bug in her ass to go walking because it was foggy. instead of the usual route we took the extended excursion to snake road. Snake Road is this 2 lane road that winds (go figure) through the coastal hills from downtown Martinez to Port Costa. In the 80's, possibly the big 89 quake parts of the road collapsed and its been closed to through traffic. Its pretty secluded and very naturey. Walking this way instead of the regular route theres more hills, more nature and more distance involved. this means more sweating and crotch chafing, but more importantly, more opportunities to bore you with crappy phone pictures. I was gonna save these for foto friday but i figured there were enough with a theme i'd give them their own post.

beautiful downtown martinez

cars, shit in the woods people dump. assholes

unmaintained roads that are closed to traffic

someone painted the road

these ladies had like 20 of these dogs.. all looked the same. running around all crazy

something dead. pretty rad skeleton.

theres also this old ass graveyard up there. one side is catholic the other side of the street is the old city cemetery. graves go back to the 1800's

thats it.

painting

so i had some time and busted out the paints this weekend. check it out.

i painted a small Belvedere Vodka Bottle. I'm not totally into how it came out tho.

I also painted another wooden plaque that was a tad bigger than what I usually paint on. i cant remember for sure but it has to be around 17 inches wide. theres my DVD remote for size comparison.
anyway, It's not finished. I love how this turned out but I never really had a plan for the other half of the piece. any ideas? It kinda looks like fat Elvis or a late Marlon Brando. I could put some bigger side burns on him and make it an Elvis theme. I dunno yet.

happy Monday.

My Dads UFO conspiracy theory

My dad got me into UFO's , science and paranormal shit as a kid and he's still recording UFO specials and episodes of Ghost Hunters for me to watch. So I attribute my interest in these subjects to him. Tonite before an evening of Ghost Hunters episodes he explained to me his new theory as to why the governments of the world, particularly the U.S. would keep knowledge of intelligent Extra Terrestrial life top secret. In the past we've pondered the idea that the existence of aliens would really screw up the divinity of Jesus and other deities in the other religions and cause a mass hysteria. But that theory hinges on the importance of religion in the world. My dads new theory actually makes way more sense. check it out...

He described the defeatist attitude that poverty stricken areas or regions tend to get because they are very aware of people with more income and/or resources. In some instances this leads to them just giving up with a "nothing-to-lose" view of life. This leads some to turn to crime and drug abuse and a cycle of hopelessness. If the people of Earth were to discover that there is a race or other races in the universe that have better technology and possibly a generally better way of living the same defeatist attitude could effect the human race on a global scale to some extent. This combined with the religious implications could cause the human race to sort of lose its will to advance itself.

I think thats a pretty realistic theory. Another theory tho is that the aliens are hostile and they are threatening the governments with a death-ray to steal our Ozone Layer and supply of Dr.Pepper.

ACKK AAACK!!

Hungry Man.. strike 2!

Ok, I wanted to try to keep the photos as the only blog today, and i was going to stop subjecting you to Frozen meal blogs but this one was too good to not post.
Today I tried the American Classic Burger meal. I know, how good could it even be? but I usually like the 7-11 burgers so i said fuck it. Anyway, check out the fucking cooking instructions!
Make sure the paper towel is white, thats really important to the taste. they dont tell you to wash your hands first because youre going to be touching it 20 times taking it in and out of the microwave! jesus. when can i eat this thing?

then as i was throwing the box away this caught my eye.
good call, Serve it frozen... in fact never even take it out of the freezer. the taste wasnt bad. it hearkened to the 7-11 school food burgers of yore but I was really missing the pickles from the vat of pickle fluid and the onions from the packet.

on a side note: the french fries taste the same cold as they do cooked. I dont really know what to say about that. anyway 2 strikes Hungry Man. Marie Calendar already hit a homerun.

Random Foto Phriday!!

this is gonna be a weekly feature.. here's week #2. enjoy.

thanks for playing. see you next Friday.

Holiest of Holies

i saw the holy grail of holy grail movies last night. No, not the Monty Python movie. Looking for Jesus's Wife's Cunt... aka, The Davinci Code. I hadnt seen it till last night and i tried to ignore all the hype but I generally had low expectations going into it. I also, dont give a shit about Catholics nor did I read the book.. so i wasnt biased which made me kind of end up liking it. It was a fun treasure hunt movie.. like American Treasure mixed with Goonies, mixed with Ronin. That kinda makes me wonder if it wasn't the Holy Grail in the case they were chasing in Ronin.

Although it was hilarious watching it with megs catholic mom. Her niece, Celeste who was in Catholic school until going into 6th grade this year was watching during the part where the dude tortures himself for Jesus. and she was like "why is he doing that?" i blurted out.. thats your religion. Then Megs mom got all defensive.. "they dont do that anymore.. bla bla bla". I was screaming in me head ... HELLO!! catholics are fucking nuts. I'm starting to think Catholics are more insane than Mormons. not .. insane but hypocrites. mormons at least stay true to what they believe.. imagine if Catholics still practiced like they did back in the day. yikes. what makes the myth of the priory of scion and them trying to keep mary magdeline a secret (lie) actually believeable is that it falls right in step with what the catholics have been doing throughout history. fixing thier religion to meet different goals and push different agendas.
they'd keep a lie all these years to keep the sheep believing in a fake god. fucking liars

ok back to the movie... I thought she was the bloodline of christ the whole time.. i thought thats what her role in the movie was. then the big reveal at the end .. i was like.. yea, we knew that. .... didnt we? i thought they were killing the grandpa and the other 3 or 4 guys or whatever because they were the bloodline.

what i don't get is... the whole story basically is that there are living descendants and have been since the beginning of Christian time. there are people in the church that want to keep that a secret for obvious reasons but what is the point of the knights templar and the priory trying to keep the same secret?
and what the fuck was the Eyes Wide Shut/Rosmary's Baby scene all about?

anyway, i watched a discovery special about the real story behind the Davinci Code. its interesting how the movie/book added stuff but also left out hella stuff that actually supports the myth. the show was actually more convincing. But to their credid, I think the Discovery Channel actually has education as one of its goals... as opposed to merely entertaining you. but it was based on a book, that was based on a book that is based on real shit. enought that one of the authors sued the writer of the davinci code.

After seeing this movie and learning all the myths now I want the truth to be told. fucking lemmings need to know thier Lord was a regular dude and deal with the fact that the bible, as interpreted by their religion, is all bullshit. no offense but i hate christians. It's beyond me how something like what this movie implies or even something like, say, the existence of aliens is such a threat to their faith. ... if they have faith it shouldnt matter. so fragile is thier beleif. You might say, people dont want to deal with fear and faith helps them resolve fear.
but fear of what? ... death? of the unknown? Its unknown.. so there is nothing to fear but what your own fucked up imagination creates. I'm more afraid of bouncing a check or getting pulled over for speeding. i guess maybe im just wired different because I cant empathize with people like that.

anyway, goofy religions aside, i thought this movie was better than expected. it was a little cheesy and some stuff wasn't really realistic but i liked it. Other than dumb insecure Catholics thinking this movie was blasphemy I think it should have been embraced as a way to open a dialogue and rethink what faith really is.

frozen lunch update

OK, so i know none of you care judging by the response from my last post on this subject but I think I may have found the exception. Marie Calendars Turkey Dinner. this one is living up to its usually high price. its like having microwaved Thanksgiving leftovers! Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed potatoes all covered in gravy. the green beans even have little cranberries in them for extra thanksgiving effect. kudos Marie, and thanks Mr.Safeway for putting these nuggets of goodness on sale.

mmmmmmmmmm

The Grass Isn't Always Greener or Better Tasting

Do you ever get usually expensive stuff you never usually get but do this time because its on sale and then after you get it you think its ok but not even really worth the sale price?

You might not really think ANY frozen dinner can be classified as "expensive stuff" But usually I get the cheapie Banquet dinners. The ones that seem to be permanently on sale for $1. I've had every one they make that seems appetizing and I'm getting sick of em. Occasionally the Lean Cuisines are on sale for like $2 and those can be OK but there's a section of the frozen meal isle I usually skip because its got what seems like the Rolls Royce of frozen TV dinners. This time, the XXL Hearty Hero Sports Grill Hungry Man's were on special for $2.50 so I mosied on over to the greener grass. Honestly tho, they dont ever really seem worth $5.75 or whatever they are but I thought i'd peep them since they were on sale. Hell yea, kirk's going to be eating like an armchair king this week!

anyway, today after following the complicated heating instructions; remove plastic from chicken, remove chicken, cook fries then replace chicken. (what? why am i handling my chicken so much?) i then took it back to my desk and even tho a little put off by the cooking and its physical appearance after being microwaved for 4 minutes I started eating it and...you know, I'm not loving it. Suddenly the allure and glamor of the rich end of the frozen isle got less alluring. Kind of like waiting in line all day to see Santa and finally getting there to realise It's just a drunk guy with a fake beard. (this same analogy was told to me to describe getting a record deal, its spot on.)

the lesson of this story is, although the $1 meals are pretty gnar, they aren't that bad. and even tho the expensive ones look cool in their large colorful boxes, how good can a frozen microwave dinner really be? in this case you don't get what you pay for. That can probably be said about most things tho. When the refinery rained oil on all our cars they payed for everyones everything to get cleaned. My family all got coupons for a free full auto detailing. and you know, it wasn't that great. I defiantly wouldn't ever go back and actually pay $200 or whatever it costs to get it again.

oh yea, and all of these chicken nuggets have a solid gristle center.... excuse me, Beer Battered Chicken Fingers.

why is it so hard ?

My band played, and again it kicked ass. the only difference is there was a full crowd of people there to see it this time.
If i wasn't actually in the band i'd have took pics or filmed it. Other people took pics, i don't have them, but people did. Now that i'm starting to become an art snob and see photography as an art form i really think morons shouldnt be allowed to own cameras. i dont trust anyone else other than me or J-Slim to take pics. they always suck and i always hear "i took lots of pics, i couldnt really get you tho" why is it so damned hard to photograph the drummer? Why is it that retarded groupie sluts and drunk morons can get on stage next to my drums and annoy the shit out of me, but people with cameras cant. As a drummer I always seem to find a spot where i can watch the drummer most of the whole show. Why cant an asshole with a camera? because they are assholes. morons that have no business taking pictures. and if you give the camera to the groupie or the drunk guy, they end up spilling beer on the camera or forgetting they were supposed to take pictures.

so maybe next time i'll bring J-slim or someone i trust to photograph the rockage.

phonepix randomness

some random photos from my camera phone. enjoy.












yes, that was a box of Barbie legs.