Apr 11, 2008

The Tale of the Gnar-Maiden

There once was this hot skater chick named Lisa, who loved to ride her skate board.. but also liked to swim in the Arctic seas.

Lisa knew of a magical sea creature that liked to swim in these waters but was never concerned. The North Alaskan Mutated Narwhal or "Gnarwhal" to the local Eskimo tribes is a docile creature. Known to have tasty secretions that was once harvested by the natives.

One day, as Lisa was swimming she got caught in a freak storm that carried her out to sea. She nearly drowned and her body sunk to the depths, with the Gnarwhal.

In this same storm a cargo ship carrying top secret government radioactive material took a phantom wave and cracked its hull.. spilling gallons of this experimental substance.

This substance made its way down to the depths with Lisa and the Gnarwhal. As it made contact with them something miraculous and strange happened.. Lisa suddenly was able to breath under water.. and a giant tusk started to grow and came out of her forehead! she then realized that her and one of the sea mammals were starting to meld together and become one...

Once the transformation was complete she, in her new form made her way back to land. She, like the Gnarwhal secreted this rare and delicious jelly which she marketed and sold with the help of her marketing exec. brother! yum! fresh squeezed from Lisa, the Gnar-Maiden!

the end. ...or is it?

The Gnarwhal's jelly secret is out, and its sweet nectar has been found to be high in energy boosting properties like caffeine but without the addictive properties.. and Lisa's clever brother has jumped on the popular energy drink market.. world meet Gnar Juice!

1 comment:

jimbizzle said...

That reminds me of Slurm from Futuramma.