The Tale of the Gnar-Maiden

There once was a beautiful skateboarder named Lisa, who loved to ride her skate board. Also liked to swim in the Arctic seas.

Lisa knew of a magical sea creature that liked to swim in these waters but was never concerned. The North Alaskan Mutated Narwhal or "Gnarwhal" to the local Inuit tribes. It is a docile creature known to have tasty secretions that were once harvested by the natives in the olden times.

One day as Lisa was swimming she got caught in a freak storm that carried her out to sea. She nearly drowned when her body sank to the depths. Deep down with the Gnarwhal.

In this same storm a cargo ship carrying top secret government radioactive material took a phantom wave and cracked its hull spilling gallons of this experimental substance into the sea.

The substance made its way down to the depths with Lisa who was struggling to swim to the surface and –the Gnarwhal. As the glowing ooze made contact something miraculous and strange happened. Lisa suddenly was able to breath under water and a giant tusk started to grow and came out of her forehead! She then realized that her and one of the sea mammals were starting to meld together and become one.

Once the transformation was complete she, in her new form made her way back to land. She, like the Gnarwhal secreted this rare and delicious jelly. Now imbued with special energy increasing properties from the toxic ooze.  She went on to market and sell with the help of her marketing exec. brother, Joaquin!

So Yum, So Energy!  Freshly squeezed GNARJUICE from Lisa, The Gnar-Maiden!