Jul 14, 2006

TV just keeps getting better and better

As I sat down at the wobbly plastic picknick table in the back patio of the famous Chile Jalepeno Mexican Resturant, that despite getting a moldy burrito and a cold taco, I always go back to, I was half watching the little TV they had on. Between bites of what might have been the best carnitas I've ever had, I hear, under canned pop hits from the 90's, what sounded like typical daytime courtroom reality show, like Judge Judy or something, but the couple times i glanced up I saw the judge had a wooden baseball bat that said "JUDGE" on it. and then the stereotypical black "tough but cool" bailiff in ToneLoc shades , said something and sounded like a bad Shaft impersonation.

then i thought, "ok shitty TV show, you got my attention"

Between commercial breaks i find out its called "Eye for an Eye" and thats just what they do.
As my burrito gets cold, I cant take my eyes off the 13" TV over in the corner. In this case, from what i could tell, a woman was publicly humilated by some guy at a bar. i dont know how illegal that is or what happened to land them in court because unfortunatly I missed the beginning.

Since its "eye for an eye" the Judge sentenced the dude to go to the bar and be put in stocks to be humilated like they did in the 1500's. Then after the commercial break I see Kato Kalin with a mic. I think its a commercial but Eye for an Eye is back on, and Kato is the host of the show! Kato was on location at the bar where the sentence was to be held out. My lunch break was almost over so I focused my attention back on the delicious Carnitas Burrito. Between glances again, I saw, cheesy COPS, or Jerry Springer style lighting and camera work showing the defendant, the plaintiff and Kato giving the blow-by-blows of what happened to the chick and what they were gonna do to the dude. I saw them put him in the stocks and heard Kato encouraging the woman, and what I guess were her friends to say humilating things and, I'm not sure, but throw rotten vegetables and fruit at him, as they would have done in ancient times. Around that time I glanced at the time, gobbled up the last of my Burrito, chugged the rest of my Sangria soda and then headed back to work.

When I got back I did some research on the internets. turns out this show is a National Lampoon's creation. Nice. so they know its cheesy and unbelievable. The cool bailiff, is a retired boxer they call "Sugar Ray". The baseball bat weilding judge is named "Extreme Akim” (Akim Anastopoulo) and of course the host we all remember from the OJ trial, Kato Kalin. how can you go wrong with a show like this? ha ha!

for more on Eye For an Eye check out their website. http://www.eyeforaneyetv.com/


Kirk said...

BTW, that pic of the judge is directly off the eyeforaneyetv site and is the worst photoshopping ever. the bat is a stretched out version of the mini foam one they sell in the eye for an eye store. and they didnt even fix his hand to make it look like he's holding it.

while I cant get a job doing this shit, some asshole (likeley with a design degree) gets to work for National Lampoon on a network TV show.

mother fucker.

Jessica A. Walsh said...

That is so funny you commented about that pic because I honestly thought, wow, Kirk did a bad job shoppin' that pic. You're just so good at it.

Now for my comment:

Sangria soda? Who the hell makes that and where can I get some? Does it really taste like sangria?

Kirk said...

I've never had real sangria, since i dont drink but the soda tastes like grape soda with a twist of something. its good. they have it, in dark green glass bottles, at every self respecting taqueria i've ever been too. some mexican markets have it in 1 & 2 liter bottles.

thats the stuff!

and yes, thanks for noticing the bad photoshop work and recognising my talent.

Anonymous said...

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Ms. Hite says hello.

jimbizzle said...

I hate those shity judge shows. The people here in my office put them on the TV all the time. I blow spit wads at the tv when they turn it on.