Kirknoggins: March 2007

Mar 30, 2007

my recent thoughts on LOST

here's some of the posts i've posted on the lost message boards yesterday..

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i think that while it (last nights episode) does break up the momentum it settles my anger towards what was till last night the most ridiculous line in Lost history "the toilet works"

i think Expose was necessary but opens to many new questions. in particular how much did/does Paulo know about the others. did he use the walkie talkie.

why didnt N&P say anything about the hatch when they found it and especially when Locke took them there. "oh yea we found this place DAAAAAYYZZ ago" but they didnt give a crap and Locke made the swan into this huge deal that took up an entire season of Lost. They knew there was a weird monitoring station on what was suppoesed to be a deserted island WAY early on in the show and didnt think it was a big deal. I guess greed overshadowed any curiosity they might have had. i dont buy it.

this episode also reminded me that no one has asked the others about the Ethan/Claire/Dharma Medical hatch.

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did ben/others know what the swan was or did?

if so why would he try to convince Locke that the computer did nothing and stop pushing the button?

if ben knew the ramifactions of the swan implosion do you think he would have had them make return to the island impossible on purpose?

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just throwing this out there with absolutely no science to back it but.. could the paralysis prolong their lives while buried?

slower heart rate require less oxygen?

could they be saved if sawyer gets greedy for the diamonds?

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"we can always make up some way for you to come back next season." -expose director that N+P killed

"nothing stays buried on this island" -John Locke

and while this doesn't help my they're still alive theory i'll add this

and i'm paraphrasing from memory...
"i was a guest star, they always get killed off" - Nikki

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thats about it.

if you want to play, this is where i wasted my whole day yesterday.

http://o.forums.go.com/abc/oceanic/forum?start=0&forumID=27

i thought this was pretty neat too. i dont know how accurate it is but its still cool. (click for big)

BenihaNOT

I went to Benihana Japanese Steak House last weekend for a friends birthday. If you dont know what Benihana is, its known for the flavor of its food as much as the showmanship with which it is prepared in front of the customers. The chef flips knives and spatulas and flips food through the air into his hat and onto plates, and juggles knives and soy sauce containers and stuff. . But i have to tell you Benihana just isnt what it used to be. and the big pepper shaker juggle show at the end wasnt even shakers they were just dowells of wood that were lathed to look like pepper shakers. weak. I have to say tho the onion volcano was neat until i saw the guy at the table next to ours put red sauce hot lava around the top. we didnt get lava. ::sadface::

Our Chef was a mexican guy... i'm an equal opportunity guy but something didnt seem right. and the "show" wasnt that spectacular. My friend Tom said all he's had are Mexican guys for the last 5 years there and probably goes 2 times a year.

so, yea i dunno, call me a cheap bastard but $17 for a half a chicken breast and some rice doesnt seem to make up for the lack luster chef. i mean if there was more fire and flying sharp objects and food i'd be ok with it but this dude missed the shrimp tail in the pocket trick on like 60% of the tries and dropped his spatula more than a few times while juggling it. its not visible in the pic but had prison tats on his hands too

Tom said:

Last time we went for our 10 year anniversary this summer, and we took the boys for the 1st time, and I built it way too much. The dude missed the tail in the hat, tail in the pocket, and the long distance flip to the plate so many times that both kids looked at me with a kind of "What the hell is this" kind of look.

when you cant impress a little kid, youre done.

Someone should write a letter, because back in the day, those chefs were badass. food ninjas. Hibachi warriors! They would live their whole lives training on top of a mountain in Japan and only when they were truly ready would get to work at Benihana.

now they're just taking dudes off the line at Denny's and teaching them how to juggle and rattle spatulas.

Yunosuke Aoki, a samurai descendant and entertainer, who started Benihana back in Japan after WWII is rolling in his grave right now.

note to self: get the fried rice next time. i opted for the steamed rice and felt like an asshole while everyone else got the "fried rice show" and got to eat before me. then my sticky lump came out later.

these rocky mountains aint so rocky

"yea that jon denver was full of shit... "

this was at the Taco Truck. there was this old Mexican dude just hanging out who had the most GNAR toes ever. it was disgusting. too bad the pic didnt get it.

it was a Hamburgler pencil

I didnt set this up i swear. I found it like this. whether the irony and humor was intended or not is still unknown.

you can be patriotic and have more Energie.

see you next month.

Mar 27, 2007

thanks, but no thanks

Here's the ad i posted on craigslist yesterday.

I'm a 30 year old, experienced and drug free drummer looking for a band or musicians to form band in the style of something from Melvins QOTSA Quicksand ATDI The Bronx to something like The Killers but with more bite and less dance beats.

I play my drums loud and hit hard and want to put my vibe on well written songs with some attitude and lots of energy. nothing to complicated but interestingly done.

I'm not super interested in touring or looking for a record deal. I've been there and done that. I just want to rock and have fun. I'm not trying to join an established band. I really want to collaborate with musicians and write from scratch.

Job Requirements:
No pop-punk bands
No ska bands or bands with a horn section.
No -a billy anything bands
No straight blues, funk or country.
If you sound like Iron Maiden or Dokken or Judas Priest etc, no thank you.
No Death Metal, Black Metal, GrindCore, NuMetal or Rap rock.
No classic Rock, Hippie rock or cover bands.
No Electronica or Synth heavy bands.
No Goth or Doom

Now don't think I'm a dick and i hate everything. I like a lot of this stuff, but its just not what i want to play right now. If youre influenced by it thats cool but i want to try to make something original and rocking at the same time.
Just go by the influences listed above. I'm flexible but I have to post all the NO this, No that because i've gotten emails from ridiculous bands.

And like i said before if you're a musician looking to achieve the same goals or even something close we can jam and try to find more players to form a band that makes us all happy.

if you still want to jam let me know. I have gear, just lack a band and place to jam. I live in Martinez and work in Emeryville. my schedule is pretty open on weeknights and afternoons. so please dont reply if youre from Castro Valley or Mountain View or Napa. I'm not driving that far.

thanks! :edit: oh yeah and despite what my friend Rita's PMS thinks of this post, I'm not a humorless asshole. but no matter how much she likes Rush or Pink FLoyd i still think Keyboards drop a bands Rockin' factor by at least 30%

ok theres a lot there to go on. I got a wide range of responses from previous more vague ads before so i really wanted to be specific as to what i did and didnt want. I posted what i thought was a pretty thorough ad and waited for the replies from bands that fit the criteria.

response #1: with my thoughts in bold

i'm frustrated w/ our current drummer, he's negative, childish, lazy,
but very talented.

OK, cool i can handle that

if you're any of the above, beside very talented, just stop reading.
looks like you're not trying to waste anytime, neither am i.
we're an "existing" band, but just recently released a cd, it's getting
good buzz,

this sounds like a form email but so far not bad

but the bass player and i have a million riffs waiting to form new
songs/album and psyched to start working on it
what we write leaves a lot of room for drums
check out our website and see our style is a fit
for you
i'm 36, been in great bands and been places, but not looking to hit the
road for extensive touring either

cool they read that part in my post about not wanting to tour

i like to get shit done, but have a good time and rip it up live.
i hate constant wining and bad attitudes
i live in mt view, but we rehearse in fremont

FREEMONT? and didnt i specifically say Mt. View? motherfucker.

here's #2:

Great ad, Were in Hollywood But planning to move either Bay Area or Portland Its cheaper for us to tour up there.

Eh i hate LA

We ewant someon that enjoys the music/team player and doesnt cry about touring.

you said it was a great ad... THAT YOU DIDN'T READ! i said that i didnt want to tour!

Our current drummer wants to move to N Carolina to marry some girl and work at Target. While we have endorsements and a small label we just wanna tour. Heres the tunes were recording a new cd in June thanks.

fuck!

the 3rd one seemed cool enough but when i listened to their songs i realized that they not only didnt have a bass player, a large part of their sound came from a god damned keyboard. hello? didnt you see the part where i said keyboards reduce the rockin' factor by 30%.. in their case 60%. mother humpers.

the rest of the responses so far, while it seems like they read my ad and met all the listed criteria, they made me realize that i left off one very important thing. so i might have to repost the ad with this line included.

No bands that suck.

seriously, i know this is a really subjective thing to put in an ad. After all no bands really know they suck, which is very unfortunate. but god dammit why are they even making music?

yea and this post had no pictures. deal with it.

Fartie McPaintelstien

i painted a little picture last night. this is Moana. she's a 58 yr old prostitute who does her best but really cant make ends meet at her age. this is the look of her contemplating night school or a job at 7-11.

I also colored a sketchbook drawing. the photo is crap sorry. it was in the dark.

i'm retarded my sketchbook is here with me. here's a better pic.

i think i like how the darker one looks better. oh well. reality is a bitch.

Mar 26, 2007

Possible band names

ok so most of you know I'm currently in between bands. I've been a crabby ass lately and I'm thinking its because i haven't had my drum fix in a couple weeks. So I set up my drums in my parents converted attic/bedroom on Saturday and jammed out. I bet the neighbors were pissed. oh well fuck em. My shit's set up there now so i imagine there will be some more drum sessions in the near future. Unless i find a new band. Why do all the bands i get emails from suck? (and no, Jimbo, i'm not moving to Portland)

Anyway, I was just brainstorming on the toilet and i thought of some possible names for my next band. a couple are serious some are serious/jokes depending on what type of music it is.

The Crown Vics

Beating a Dead Horse

Assgasm

Sequel to the Remake

Courtesy Flush

Bridget Jones's Diarrhea

The Long Apology

Wet Pillow

Infinity Times 10 (our fans will know us as IXX)

I might have to just try to form a band from scratch with different musicians. or just create some one man band type contraption.

If you know anyone in the Bay Area looking to start a band that doesn't suck . Or if you're in a band but they suck. Or if your band shreds but you love the name "Bridget Jones's Diarrhea" as much as I do, let me know.

UPDATE:

i almost forgot about the raddest band name ever.
UNICORN
i made a logo and everything!
http://kirksheltonart.com/art/unicorn.jpg

and if you think unicorns are gay click here.