May 28, 2008

Too Many Puppies

Ever watch that John & Kate Plus 8 show? Fuck that shit. They are very patient considering the mayhem. I'd have dungeons.

On the last one i saw, one of the kids was constipated and the dad pulls the turd out by hand. You go Bobby Brown. (no pun intended) They need to do more online shopping and less taking a classroom full of kids to the bed store.

But what is interesting about THAT show is . .the first season or two, it was just a look into the psychosis of the wife's mind. After Season 2, you could tell that the producers started dreaming up shit. To get the kids out of the house and to get the mom to stop scrubbing the floors with toothbrushes.

Kate is pretty crazy. John looks like he wants a divorce every day. he constantly has a "kill me now" look on his face.

"i had this horrible nightmare.. i was married to this power tripping wife and we had 8 kids..all screaming and pooping everywhere...." ...then Kate rolls over with this psycho smile on her face and you start to hear a chorus of crying from another room. pan back to John who's eyes are wide open in fear and disbelief.
it was just a dream...or was it. but that's like every episode.

Then there's that show with the weird family with 18 kids or something. Meet the Duggars.
And as if to not be out done... the Duggar family was like ... 'oh snap, eight kids? try having 20 and and trying to come up with all names that start with J. Yea we busted out Jedediah on your asses. didn't see that one coming did you?
Oh cute, your kids all dress the same.. we can beat that too.. ALL of us wear 17th century clothing that my wife makes by hand and we all wear the same color for a different day of the week.. whats that? the Duggars are in lavender?... must be Wednesday. Suck on that Jack and Kate!'

18 effing kids, that chicks vagina has to ride shot gun. Her baby hole is so blown out he probably gets the sperm to the egg via UPS or FedEx.

This pretty much sums it up.

but I must say one thing to the Duggars. Stop fucking! I cant blame John n Kate.. they only schaboinked twice to cause that mess. And took lots of fertility drugs. Let that be a lesson to all you sterile couples... get a dog.

The Duggars did it the old fashioned way. Hella sex. she's a friggin egg farm. They obviously don't believe in birth control. Their motto is 'we'll stop having kids when god tells us so.' I wonder if seeing her uterus fall on the floor be a good enough sign. I bet he just jizzes on the bed and has her roll around in it at this point.

But I will give them this, their house runs like a clock. It's amazing to see how they get things done. They are more like an ant colony than a family. It will be interesting to see if the kids end up living the same life because the parents weren't raised that way. They just sort of made it up. Its like some weird quaker-Mormon hybrid. The oldest daughter seems like she just wants the fuck out.

I think they should have a crossover show where Kate and John and their monsters go visit the Duggar clan. Then there's a cage match between Kate and the Ant Queen
ooh Wife Swap special edition! I wouldn't be surprised if Mr.Duggar 4 more wives stashed somewhere. Because thats too much for one vagina to handle.


Unknown said...

You're hilarious Kirk :)

I love Jon & Kate Plus 8! I think Kate has some issues, but for the most part it works for the family, I don't know if there lives would work as well if she wasn't so detail-oriented. :) Those kids are adorable, I love Aiden with the glasses! :)

And the Duggars... I just want that woman to get a makeover and a hysterectomy. I hate her hair, I hate it, I can't take it!

Kirk said...

I think Mrs. Duggar's hair is part of their made up religion. Women are not allowed to cut their hair.

Symple One said...

technically they are holiness Christians that are like Mormons but worse. they don't believe in medical science they wait for god to heal them or as you said give them s sign to stop having babies since they dont use birth control. masturbating is considered abortion. and the girls cant wear pants but the husbands only get one wife... look it up i went to school with alot of them back in the day its a midwest thing

Anonymous said...

So funny to come by your page and see you actually post something about Jon and Kate... I absolutely am in love with that show. I may To me as a parent, you start to appreciate the life of your child. Kate is pretty freaky, but its obvious to see why. But I love the kids watching them show their personalities... And enough reasons to make sure we don't pop out another baby ever again... One is enough!

I have never seen the Duggars. I think even hearing that they're not the normal everyday family, but abnormal sect of an already scary religion is enough reason enough for me not to bother. Its like those Time Life commercials that sell those Christian cds and all those people raising their hands to the sky... that shit scares me.

But Jon and Kate... yay. You mentioned them in your blog. Keep up the laughs.

jimbizzle said...

I hate those shows, but god damn that was funny! Jizzes on the bed and her her roll around in it... WOW! FanFUCKINGtastic!

Jessica A. Walsh said...