verbal monday random

right now, i sit here with a burnt tounge. I burned it on one of those cheap microwavable chimichungas. when i cook those i always get pissed at microwaves for burning the ends of shit to a crisp and boil the outside bits but then the center is still fucking frozen.. how have these contraptions lasted this long? i guess its becuase cooking is that much of a pain in the ass. I also made one of those, 10 for $8.00 Budget Gourmet meals. They actually arent that bad tasting. you just have to add salt to it. its not a seasoning thing. you literally have to add salt to make it have a flavor. you could eat one in the dark and not no what it is until you add salt. ahh, enchiladas! yum. as i type this im stirring the burnt-to-a-solid parts of the enchilada sauce into the more liquidy parts. luckily 5 minutes gets the job done on one of these. they say to stop it at 2 minutes and stirr, but you dont need to. its all boiling and hotter than a hooker on nickel night when its done. and they dont warn you that when you peel back the plastic after its done the steam will remove paint on the USS Intrepid. that shit gets me every god damn time. i guess if i were a rat in a maze getting shocked for pushing the wrong button, i'd fail and end up testing eye liner or something.

wow, i typed all that now i'm finished with my lunch. All but the beans. they were pretty horrible. worse than taco bell. taco bell beans are powder that you add water too and heat up. but its good with sauce and cheese. thats whats so good about places like Taco Bell and McDonalds. its not really that good tasting... well yea it is, i mean they manufacture it that way on purpose. but what keeps you going is that you cant recreate it anywhere else. taco bell isnt just a taco or burrito, its TACO BELL... its all the chemicals and shit they put in it that makes it so damn addictive. speaking of unhealthy foods... i brought a banana too. to balance it all out. damn I really like banannas. theyre really like no other fruit out there. I just like origional fruit. i like mangoes too, they rock.

I also got a diet coke out of the machine here. i think im the only one here that gets diet out of that machine because it still has the Olympics cans. But its not expired thank god. Have you ever had expired coke? man its fucking gross. when i was on tour this place gave us a whole case of coke and shit and we thought they were being rad to us. then we started drinking it down the road and the whole case was expired. those assholes. they probably didnt know but it still fuckin sucked. like that Twilight Zone episode where the world ends and theres only one guy left. He finds a library and is juiced he has somehting to do to cure his loneliness. then he breaks his glasses and cant see shit or read. thats kind of how it was to have a case of expired Coke. well, on a smaller level i guess.

Those old Twilight Zones were rad. we borrowed my dads Box Set and vegged out all day yesterday watching old episodes. One thing i didnt realise is that there were hella famous actors in it but before they were famous. one had a hella young Charles Bronoson with a hella young chick from Bewitched. a couple had William SHatner. one had Don Rickles. it was crazy. If you get the chance you should peep some of those old Zone episodes.

Sorry about the lack of photos in here this time, my phone died and we werent anywhere i could charge it most of the weekend. well, while i was somewhere with stuff worth photographing. we went to the Peddlers fair down town martinez which is mostly just antique junk. plates and stupid shit. I told meg it looked like all the antique shops puked into the streets and some lady who was selling shit heard me and said "yea i guess it does". rock on old lady! the coolest things we saw were a bass guitar some guy made out of a Harley gas tank and this vintage ronald mc donald thing. it was part of a sign or something. it was a fibreglass molded head thing. it was a creepy old school ronald tho. we wanted to buy it but it was like $250. might have been a good deal for something like that but, 250... thats too much to blow if youre not a collector of shit like that. we originally went down there hoping to find some shit for me to paint on. I want to start painting on more "found objects" but everything was so damn overpriced. people pull shit out of thier attic and think that just because its old, its worth $500. thats most of the antique stores down there. I need to hit up some Goodwills and shit. if i dont find anything there i'll have to do some dumpster diving.

Speaking of painting, I got an email from the Shakey Hand Gallery and they want to do a solo show in August. I'll be the first of more edgy artists they feature. I'm really juiced but i need to paint my ass off to get enough material to show. They want to have people donate skateboards for me to paint and sell them for charity too. its not a completly original idea but anything "cool" is new for Martinez. the old people and thier antiques are killing that town. anyway, they wrote a little bio thing for me.. check it out.

Absurdities and Obscenities: Hit the Road with Kirk
Shelton
August 21st – September 18th
Opening August 25th 6-8 p.m.
Free admission
Exhibit summery:
Take a weird and twisted turn into the world of Kirk
Shelton, where the odd reigns supreme and the surreal
dictates normality. Characterized as pop art, with
influences from alternative media and counterculture
aesthetic the work of Kirk Shelton comprises a
satirical view of reality. Using mediums ranging from
colored pencil and acrylic, often including found
objects, Kirk Shelton creates a palate of colorful
characters and oddball antics challenging anyone’s
take on the mundane.

pretty cool eh.. so i'm juiced about that. I'll let you know more as it gets closer.
ok, thats it for the verbal monday random.