If you or anyone you know is a myspace addict, or think you might be one, here's how to wean yourself off of MySpace so that you can resume living offline. the WikiHow How To Defeat a Myspace Addiction. I dont know if this was written as a joke or by concerned parents. either way Myspace is the fucking devil in more ways than one.
one of my submissions got approved. when youre done hugging your wife and brother go vote for my design!!
"Even though your design may be submitted properly, we do decline some submissions for poor design." cocksuckers! eh maybe it did suck. the competition is pretty stiff... i'd rock that shirt any day of the week! I also submitted these two but havent heard back yet.
i really like the nubs one. I hope they pick it. I'd rock that too. if they get picked I'll let you know and you have to promise to vote for me. ok?
so I'm at Foster's Freeze with my dad. For those who dont know, just to get an idea of what we're dealing with here, Foster's is this walk-up, old Drive In Hamburger Soft Serve ice cream place thats been in Martinez forever. The Korean owners, who speak very little English, decided it would be cheaper to not pay franchise costs to be a Foster's officially so now they get the same food from the supplier, they just cant call it Foster's. So my dad and i were at "_ os _ _ _ _ Freeze" and this guy walks up in a pimped out track suit, clubbin shades siteways pro-fit cap, basketball sneakers and fiddling with some kind of cellphone PDA sidekick thing. He starts off asking if they have Steak Teryake... which isnt in one of the many convinently photographed and posted menu items they had in the window. She says in her broken English that mostly consists specificly of OS Freeze menu items, "no, Teryake Chicken" he says "you aint got no beef teryake?" she said no you fuck youre standing at a window ordering.. look at the pictures asshole. so he settles for the chicken but asks.. "what kinda meat is it?" "its teryake chicken" she replies. "naah naah, is it breast meat?" and points to the chicken breast sandwich picture. this only confuses her more. she answers enthusiasticly "chicken breast sandwich?" (this reminds me of that episode of southpark with the future people taking our jobs) anyway. he says "naw naw, what kinda chicken meat is in the teryake chicken.. its dark meat huh" she repeats some confused babble, rightly so. then he gives up and orders the ranch burger. "well done. and can you make the fries crispy" Dude this isnt Burger King (or In N Out) you cant get it your way. they have pictures man! so they went back and forth with the ranch burger much like the teryake steak. asking shit like "what kinda ranch is it, do you make it or is it in a bottle..." meanwhile my dad and i, and some dude that ordered before us are there in awe of this guys audacity and stupidity. Making fun of him under our breath but loud enough for him to hear us. Nothing will bring strangers together like someone else makeing a fool of themselves. It went from being funny, like 'ha ha look at that nerd ball'. to complete and utter awe.. a feeling that can only be compared to seeing a flying saucer and not being sure if what your seeing is real or not. anyway, my dad was ready to throw down. This guy stood there customizing his order which would surely be screwed up by the nice Korean woman, merely due to the language barrier, for about 25 minutes. I shit you not. Most of this time we were just standing around the corner at the tables peeking over to see if he was still there missing most of who knows what he was trying to order. My dad went over to see if our order was ready yet and overheard the line that made us go ballistic. "...uhm, do your straws have paper on them..." WHAATTT!!!??? this guy has to be kidding.. where are the hidden cameras.. Ashton where are you? paper on the straws???? but, he was dead serious and when he found out that he couldnt get Mr Pib, then ordered water, and found out the straws had paper on them he asked "uhhm do y'all got bottled water?" is it on the sign? NO you shit head your ordering through a screendoor in a window!!!
