porn, strippers, and gay dudes.

I saw link for an article about how High Def is becoming detrimental to the porn industry...

“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director.

It makes sense. Those chicks aren't perfect. if they were they wouldn't be doing porn right? anyway that got me thinking about this strip club I went to a long time ago. this place had this gross drug addict stripper. she was old and had bruises and band aids all over her legs. she was dancing, moving in a drugged out daze to "Private Dancer" by Tina Turner.. I cant ever listen to Tina Turner now without thinking of tha pretty gross. it was a pretty intimate setting so she could totally see us if we left, so to be nice, we waited till she was done to leave.
You'd think that would probably turn me off strip clubs for life but strip clubs in general turned me off of strip clubs for life. bullshit like $12 ATM fee. wtf is that. I mean, i like boobies and all but its just a gross setting. bunch of guys hooting and getting horny together. Getting a boner with your friends around was barely acceptable when you first discovered your parents porn collection.. defiantly not OK for adults. Its not like your gonna get to have sex with them even if you wanted to. your just gonna leave broke and horny. I dont want to pay to get blue balls. also, i already hate tipping at restaurants, so after paying a cover to get in i really hated throwing money at a naked chick. on top of the money issue, i really don't like fake boobs and implant scars. I guess that is part of the deal though
When you make your living stripping you gotta get the implants, etc because the girls that are perfect already, their self esteem is way too high to strip. and honestly.. i'd rather look at natural small ones... and even tho small ones don't make money, in my strip club experience (that is way more extensive than i'd like) there's always a small tit chick, a token black chick and a fat chick in the mix to satisfy the tastes of different client el. In Hollywood its all plastic whores.

And Lap dances are awkward.. thats when they start talking to you. then you feel kind of obligated to try to say something because this chick is grinding on you, so you ask questions about them and the start to tell you they have 2 kids or they say they are working their way through college and their dad beat them. any way to get that pity vote for more money. what they don't tell you is that their money goes toward crank. kid stories bring in more money than crank addiction.

So yea, I hate strip clubs. i haven't gone to one since I stopped touring. i hated that I'd always get stuck going because we all shared a vehicle. and basically lived in it.

strip clubs in my opinion are the most latent homosexual thing a guy could do. maybe not the most but theres a chronological order to things that aren't gay but come pretty close.

Somewhere below strip club is having a threesome with another guy and a chick. I did it once but we called it double-teaming to make it less gay. we never even saw each others wangs. then somewhere up there on the list is pissing next to a guy at a urinal when theres other open ones. and if you look over, you're crossing over into gaydom. I think i'll have to add team sports, wrestling and working out at the gym with other dudes in here too. One time i was flipping channels and there was this work out show with Joe Piscopo, the comedian that was on SNL back in the day. I guess he became a body builder or something. anyway it was him and this other guy and if you closed your eyes it sounded like full-on gay porn. not that i know what gay porn sounds like but i can imagine it sounds something like this did... "oh yea, hold it right there..." [heavy breathing] "oooh that feels good.. i can feel it" it was pretty funny.

..not that theres anything wrong with that...